


given half a chance

by karasunotsubasa



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Blood and Violence, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Cecaelias, Chris is a friend, Curse Breaking, Demonic Possession, Eggs, Fairy Tale Curses, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Honest Conversations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Makeup Sex, Making Up, Mer Smut, MerMay, Merman Victor, Oviposition, Physical Pain, Pining, Potions, Reunions, Smut, Spells & Enchantments, Tentacle Dick, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, Witch Curses, Witch Katsuki Yuuri, cecaelia yuuri, dramatic hair cutting, first steps to love, life truths, maleficent/little mermaid/shrek fusion, married with kids, shark attack, whom victor may or may not have slept with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24112996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunotsubasa/pseuds/karasunotsubasa
Summary: A fairy tale always starts with love and pain, with malice borne of jealousy. In the case of his story... it begins with all three.Young prince Victor is cursed into a body of half man, half fish, and only a true love's kiss can make him once again wholly himself. After years of looking for the one meant for him on land, he sets out to do the same in the underwater kingdom. He finds little luck. At 26 he is all but ready to give up, when his best friend mentions a powerful witch who might be able to remove his curse.With little else to lose, Victor decides to meet the witch. Falling in love with him, though? Well, that wasnotthe plan at all...
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 132
Kudos: 468





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this story has been written for mermay in collaboration with the mer queen [@rosereleasesart](https://twitter.com/rosereleasesart)!
> 
> I will not be tagging every single thing in the first chapter, so this is the warning for the future: there will be demon possession in this story and there will be sex. there will also be demon-possessed sex. the story is still only halfway written, so I can't say what more there will be in it that needs warning against for now. tags will be updated as I go.
> 
> if you're still into this story, then welcome and enjoy!

A fairy tale always starts with love and pain, with malice borne of jealousy. In the case of his story... it begins with all three.

On the day prince Victor has cried his first lungful of air out into the world, even the skies heralded his brilliance. The sun shone high upon the heavens and not a cloud could be spotted in sight. His parents, Queen Alina and King Ivan, cried in happiness along with their babe. For many years they have been trying for a child and only now did the gods choose to gift them with one – a son, an heir, the one destined to rule after them and guide their peoples towards a bright future.

Even the people cried, for the prince’s birth was a harbinger of a new era for the kingdom, a new peace in the hearts of all.

Far and near, shouts of joy were raised to the skies. Nobles from around the country, dignitaries from the neighbouring lands, lords and ladies of all stations; they all rushed to the palace to greet their new hope. Even the forces of magic have chosen to pay respects to the newly born royal. Witches, fairies, and all manner of creatures appeared at court to see the prince with their own eyes. Those of the land, those of the skies, those of the fire and even of the sea – they all came and witnessed the cruelty that has been done to one as young as he.

For one among them did not cheer the prince’s health.

One among them did not wish for peace.

One among them was a sea witch. A sea witch with a taste for misery.

And she had ample reason to hate them all. Years and years ago, her heart was broken by a man who chose a human over her, discarding her power, her beauty, her love for that of a mere mortal. So she vowed her revenge on their wedding day and continued to stalk the waters of the realm, waiting, cursing, bidding her time until such a day arrived when all their happiness could be ruined by her hand.

At long last, that day has finally come with the birth of their firstborn son.

All creatures, mortal and not, have gathered to see the whelp. A feast has been thrown in his honour. A feast! For a brat, who could not even utter a word! She was seething with anger as she crawled out of the sewer in the palace underground. Vile and dripping with sewage water, dirty and filthy like the day she ripped herself out of her mother’s belly, she split legs out of her tail and dragged the bloody mess of it behind her through the corridors.

And then, through the door to the great hall she burst: magic upon her skin and in her voice.

“Who dares not invite me to bestow blessings upon this child of wonder?”

Her voice rippled through the air, parted the people and showed her _him_.

_Him_ , who has once claimed to love her.

_Him_ , who has betrayed her.

_Him_ , who has sired the whelp her anger will settle upon.

_Him_ , whom she will make suffer like she has suffered.

“Pitiful wretch, get out of my palace!” he calls now, hiding the human girl behind him. “Guards! Drag this creature out of here! Let her not come back!”

Oh, how foolish they are, humans! She almost laughs at the ease with which she flicks them away in a single slam of her tail against the polished floors. Cracks begin to form at her feet as she steps closer to the crib, where the brat begins to wail. He must sense her approach, smart thing. If there is one quality in humans she finds least vile, it is their self-preservation.

But it will not help the whelp now.

“This child borne of _love_ ,” she says, spitting the last word out like a curse, as she bows over the crib. “He is much beloved in all the kingdom, is he not? Such a darling face.”

She strokes one clawed finger over the babe’s cheek. 

“Don’t touch him, witch!”

He, the fool, rushes towards her. Her claw slips and cuts into the babe’s neck. Horrified, the king pauses as ruby red blood drips onto the white sheets beneath his son’s back.

The wails grow ever more piercing. She does not hate them, not really. They make a fine accompaniment to her revenge.

“You have earned my wrath, human king,” she tells him, whom she once loved, moving her claw to the child’s forehead. “And now you will pay the price for it.”

“Not my son, please,” he begs her, but she only laughs. “Take all you want! I will give you everything! Anything! But spare my son!”

She hisses at him, sharp teeth bared. “Fool. Should I have wanted your treasures, I would have already taken them. Should I have wanted your life, I would’ve taken that, too.”

She laughs, ever the colder. Finally, at last, her vengeance will be complete. And oh, how it tastes! Like piss and mud, thick in her mouth! Sweet blood sliding down her throat!

“There is something I want from you, though,” she says, almost giddy.

“Anything,” the king offers.

He takes a step closer and she looks him in the eye as she grins. “I want your pain.”

Before he can even take a breath, she casts her magic. The curse she has been working towards for twenty years releases from her body in a wave so powerful it knocks everyone off their feet. As they scramble, she laughs and laughs, and the power rushes through her: malevolent and triumphant. And then, she directs her gaze at the boy.

Blue eyes peer back at her, blue like the sea, and she knows what his punishment will be.

“Until the day you find your other half,” she intones, her voice like waves crashing against the shore, “you shall be unwhole, bound in a form that only true love’s kiss will free you from. Neither of land, nor of sea. Neither human, nor fish. Until you find the other part of your soul, I curse you.”

All her power sinks into the boy. His body is wrapped in darkness for a brief moment, while his foolish parents cry out in distress.

And then it is done.

She laughs one last time when the babe flaps his new tail and the scales glitter along his crib. He may be beautiful, he may be kind, he may be the sweetest soul in all the realm. But she knows, oh, she knows… Beauty only serves to hurt more when one looks for love.

“Live well, my once king,” she says in farewell, drinking in the sight of despair on the face she once beloved. “And remember me every time you see your son. _That_ is my revenge.”


	2. CHAPTER 1

Victor was too little to remember the first time the sea pains come. All he knows is the story.

One day, two years after he was born, he was struck by a sickness that no healer could identify. Weak and feverish, he spent two weeks succumbing to the illness. Distressed, his parents brought in every doctor, every witch, every being with an even ounce of healing power to see him, but neither their charms nor herbs nor spells nor potions helped to relieve Victor's ails. More than that, no one even knew how to cure him. Treating a half human, half fish prince was too hard for the unskilled.

He would've died, surely, if not for a witch from the land beyond the sea, who arrived in the capitol on a merchant's ship. She has heard of their troubles and rushed to the palace to offer her help. And she, the only one, actually could.

"This is no mere illness," she has told his parents then. "I have seen this before. No tincture can heal it."

The queen gave a strangled sob. "Is he to die then?"

"If we act fast, we may be able to save him," the witch promised. "He is half human, half a creature of the sea. Staying too long on land will cause him severe pain, even death. First, we must return him to the sea."

"But he is still so young," the king protested. "He cannot swim. We cannot just leave him in the water to die."

"It is that," said the witch, her gaze hard, "or watching him die here, in your arms. The choice is yours, Your Majesty."

And it is an obvious one. They rushed to the water's edge, where the king himself stepped into the water with his son cradled in his arms. But the moment Victor's body sank into the salty waters of the bay, the king's worries were rendered void. Victor's tail, which only now they noticed has dried and begun to crack, mended itself. His hair, silver like moonlight began to float, shimmering in the sun. His skin, sickly pale, regained its youthful glow under the clear waters.

And then his eyes opened too, and his tail flapped the water, and the little prince swam, though he has never done so before.

From that moment on, his parents knew what must be. They ordered a royal ship built and every year, once the winter chill passes and spring returns to land, they board the ship and together they sail until the autumn waters bring them home. Half a year Victor has spent on land and half a year at sea, growing in both worlds equally.

He learns to swim, to recognize danger in creatures of the depths, to speak to all manner of things and dream by the stars, which guide his way at times when he swims too far from his parents' ship. Such is his life at sea. Then, he returns to land and meets the nobles, makes some friends, learns to read and dream of worlds yet unknown, where the same stars watch over him from the skies.

Years fly by. Faster and faster, the more he grows. His tail and hair lengthen at the same pace as the membranes between his arms. He comes to love his body as it is. Half man, half fish he might be, but doesn't that make him unique? Doesn't that make him special? One of a kind? The gazes filled with admiration trail behind him wherever he goes in a chair built just for him that servants carry wherever Victor asks them to. And oh, it is so sweet to be loved like this!

Victor finds no resentment in his heart for the witch who cursed him. There is nothing wrong with his life, nothing he would change. He's happy, so why hold animosity towards someone who, in his eyes, made him something one of a kind?

He grows bored of always staying near the royal ship when he is fifteen. He doesn't dare make a move then, but for an entire winter he plans. A sailor at port has once told him a story. One that almost sounded like a dream, for in it people like him lived deep underwater in their cities of gold: free and happy.

Victor wanted to see them, to meet those that were just like him. So the summer of his sixteenth year, he leaves the safety of the ship and dives into the unknown sea.

That's how he meets Chris.

The half man, half sea lion becomes his best friend over the course of the two weeks they spend together. He takes Victor to the underwater city of Laelia, shows him all there is to know about merfolk – as he calls them.

And oh, there is so much to know! There are so many shapes and sizes to merfolk, so many different combinations – men with shark faces and human feet, women with limbs as thin as those of a jellyfish, others with morphed torsos, legs, arms, necks and heads.

Yet even among them, Victor was something special too. None of these mers were as human as him. None of them were cursed. And none, Victor thought vainly, were as beautiful.

Chris used to laugh at him for such things, but he didn't laugh when Victor has pressed himself into him that first time more than a year after they first met and begged him to teach him about the pleasures of a mer body.

In all, when Victor thinks back on his life then, it wasn't half bad. What was normal was normal, what wasn't was a thing that made him something more, something better. No one at the palace had a tail, after all. No one had these stunning, pearlescent scales. No one had these rainbow coloured membranes. And no one, _no one_ , could ever be him.

It was only after Victor's eighteenth birthday has come and passed that his parents shared the secret of his curse with him: that only finding his other half will bring him back to his proper form.

They do not listen when Victor tells them he is happy as he is. They do not listen when he tells them to leave fate be, to stop trying to marry him off. They do not listen when he says that his other half may not even be human.

For the next four years, Victor goes along with their wishes. It gives them purpose to try and find his other half, so he allows them that. But none of the men and women he meets are even close to matching what sits in Victor's heart.

It is then that he begins to notice that not everything about life is as good as he believed it to be.

Those admiring looks? They grow oppressive. Half the time, Victor notices fear and disgust hidden behind the initial surprise.

Being unique? That only means loneliness. There is no one else like you, no one to relate to you, no one to tell you what to do when you are lost. 

Being special? It is not always for the reasons you think. Who cares about how you look when you are a prince? Who cares about your tail, if there's a crown on your head? Who cares about your fins, if there's riches in the vaults that you will one day inherit?

In throngs, lords and ladies come to the palace to meet the mer prince Victor in the hopes of finding a match with him and breaking the curse, so that they may rule the kingdom together. And, in throngs, they leave, for none of them is worthy. None of them has what it takes – the heart to love Victor for who he is, not who was meant to be.

Two more years he swallows down his own feelings, so that his parents may do their best, but at long last enough is enough. Among all these people, somehow, Victor feels more lonely than he ever has before in the vast sea.

Hence, on the day of his twenty-fifth birthday, he tells his beloved mother and father:

"It is enough. Thank you. You tried. I would like to search for both parts of the heart I've now lost. Alone."

And, with their heartbroken blessing and a promise to return for winter, he leaves his land of birth behind.

One more year Victor spends looking for his soulmate. And he even believes he finds him. He's a shark mer with a slick gray body and eyes pale like steel. He's hard in body and soul, and makes Victor's heart trip over itself when he pulls him into his strong arms like there is no other place Victor should ever consider living. For the longest time, Victor thinks so too.

But then they kiss and nothing happens, and that is that. A week later Victor returns to land for winter, his heart crushed into more slivers than it was before, and no gold in his parents' treasury could fix it.

"I'm tired," Victor confesses to Chris once he returns underwater in early spring. "I'm so tired of this. Isn't there any other way to break this curse? Isn't there some… magic?" It takes Chris a moment to reply, and in that moment Victor's hopes rise from the ashes like a phoenix. "There is! You know it! Tell me everything, please, Chris?"

"This is nothing certain," Chris explains, rubbing the side of his face as if in discomfort. "I cannot say if he will even have a way."

Desperate, Victor begs: "If there's even a sliver of a chance, I'll take it."

"Do you really hate it here that much?" Chris asks. He looks away, seemingly hurt by Victor's rush. "Will you really leave all of this, us… me, behind?"

"Chris..."

"No, don't answer." Chris floats up, then turns his back on Victor. "I think I'd rather not know. Better for us both." His shoulders are tense, but when he speaks his voice carries none of his feelings. "There is a mer. A god of lost souls and cursed waters. He's a cecaelia, you see, and a very powerful witch. His presence alone will turn the weak of heart into mindless husks, so he tends to stay away from communities. If there is anyone out there that could break your curse, it would be him."

"And… you know where he lives, don't you?" Victor asks. He tries to keep his hopes at bay, but it's impossible. After so many years of struggling, at the mere idea of freedom it simply grows and grows and refuses to stop.

"I do," Chris admits. "But knowing is one thing. You will need a gift for him, if you wish to curry favour with him."

"What sort of gift?"

"I don't know… But I can ask around, if you want."

Victor loses no time in hugging him. "Oh, Chris! What would I do without you?"

He doesn't see it, but he feels it in the shifting of waters around Chris' face – the sea lion mer smiles.

It takes Chris a week to learn what they need: the witch loves human craft. As a prince of an entire kingdom of humans, Victor feels like he has this well within his grasp. His trip home and back is plentiful – he brings a stunningly gilded hand mirror, a flute that plays the sweetest of tunes, a dagger of most incredible make, and two silver goblets with the herb of his royal house.

Chris eyes them all with wonder on his handsome face. At last, he looks up to Victor and grins.

"If he doesn't agree to help you when you give him these, then he's a right fool."

Victor thinks so too, and yet when they swim away from the city he cannot help but worry. Is it possible to break his curse like this? Is the mer witch powerful enough? Does he know the magic that was used to curse Victor? And what will Victor even do, if his curse is broken...?

Thoughts do not stop spinning in Victor's head as they swim towards the witch's lair. In a cave as dark as the night sky, in waters murky and fogged with shimmering, colourful mud – spell residue, Chris tells him – there lives the mer that can give Victor back what he never knew: legs and identity as a human.

"The mer I spoke to said to leave the gift on that rock by the entrance to the cave," Chris tells him, pointing. "And I think you shouldn't give all of them away now. Leave one first, and then see if it works. If it doesn't, you can leave another."

"How will I know if he accepts, though?"

"She said he will come to you in a dream," Chris explains. Then, he makes a face. "Is it one of those dreams, you think?"

"It could be a nightmare, if he is as vile as you make him sound to be," Victor teases.

"I never said vile! I only mentioned terrifying and powerful," Chris defends himself. Then, louder, as if the witch was hiding behind the rocks, eavesdropping, he adds: "I'm sure he is a very fetching mer!"

Victor cackles and Chris slaps him in the chest with his palm. Still cackling, Victor leaves the first of his gifts on the rock.

That night, he dreams of his life as a human: of dancing and swordplay, of writing and taking walks on his human legs in the sunlit gardens...

No mer comes.

Three more times Victor repeats his trip to the witch's lair. Three more times he leaves him gifts and each one disappears, but no mers visit him in his dreams. It will be no impediment to him to return to the surface for more goods to trade for breaking his curse. His parents will be more than happy to provide treasures for such a cause. But, as Victor rests the last one on the rock, he feels like maybe this is the answer he was waiting for. Maybe, by not showing himself to Victor, the witch is telling him to give up hope.

The next morning, after once more dreaming of nothing important, Victor sets his jaw hard in determination. He has given him the gifts, has he not? He has done as asked, has he not? So why is there no deal being made? Why has the witch not spoken to him? Victor wants answers. And he is resolved to have them. Or, if he can't, then he will have his goods back at least. If there is no deal, there shouldn't be a payment, after all.

"Do not wait for me tonight," he tells Chris. "I am going to sit on that rock and wait until he comes to speak with me."

Chris turns to him in alarm. "Are you sure that's wise? What if you anger him? He could do much worse than just turn you into a mer."

Victor laughs, and the years of emptiness ring in the hollow sound his throat makes.

"What more can he do to me, Chris?" He shakes his head. "No, I'm going. Don't stop me."

Chris, who has known him for almost half his life and knows how stubborn Victor can be, only sighs. He wraps him in a hug, brief, but hard.

"Stay safe," he whispers in Victor's ear, kisses his cheek, and lets him go.

For hours Victor sits on the hard rock. He falls asleep, then awakens, and yet everything around him is as dark as it was before with a slight colourful shimmer every now and then. All is as still as it was before. He loses track of time after that. He only knows that it indeed passes, because hunger awakens in his belly with a keen groan.

He did not think to bring food. He did not think it would be necessary. That it would take _this long_.

Still, he doesn't want to go back to the city. Not even for a meal. He will stay here, starve, if he must, but he will not lose this chance. At some point, the witch must leave his cave, no? He must need food or, or supplies for his potions, Victor reasons.

Thus, he waits. The growling of his belly eases after a time, replaced by an ache that makes him feel faint. He lies on the rock, head hanging down from it and eyes locked on the cave's entrance. Like that, too, he falls into fitful sleep.

It is broken so suddenly that Victor twitches. In the murky waters it is hard to see, but Victor _feels_ more than sees him approach. The mouth of the cave yawns open with darkness so inky, so black, that the waters around it seem almost light in comparison.

Breathless, Victor rolls to the side and pushes himself up.

His head spins at the quick movement. As his vision swims, Victor thinks he can make out a form in the dark. A tentacle, maybe. And another? Or maybe that was just a shadow? A pounding in his temples distracts him enough that he isn't certain anymore about what he is seeing. But then, then _he_ leaves the cave and Victor no longer needs to see to be struck by awe.

The shape before him coils and twists, moving with the water and against it, as if the darkness itself was a living creature. And between the glimpses the tendrils of darkness leave, Victor spots a silhouette much like a human's. Arms like his own. A chest and face, too. And feet, with legs attached to them, surely. They are hidden behind huge fins, which almost look like the ball gown skirts that caught Victor's eye at his parents' court.

Majestic and almost moulded out of darkness, the witch before him could take his breath with his looks alone, Victor thinks. As easily as he does with his power.

Victor sways on his rock as waves of it roll over him. He feels even weaker than before, now that he is in the presence of the god of lost souls. For, weak as he is, he recognizes the righteousness – him, with the lost half of his soul, comes to beg for help in finding it to the one being that collects them.

He opens his mouth to speak, but a severe pain grips him by the stomach and all voice escapes him. He leans precariously forward. He would have fallen, too, if not for a tentacle coming to his rescue. One, then another, and two more after, slide over his body to help him support himself. They are a cold, yet not unpleasant touch, so Victor allows himself to rest against them as his eyes lift to meet the witch's gaze.

"Who are you?" 

Even his voice is dark. It sounds… it sounds like an inside of a dark cave: low and throaty, with a rasp from disuse.

"Victor," Victor answers. "I left you gifts. I– I was hoping–"

"Those were from you?"

There is surprise in the way that is said and Victor wonders if maybe some mistake has been made. But before he can think more of it, his stomach cramps again and he gasps in pain.

"You are unwell," the witch says in a tone that makes it a fact, not a question. One of the numerous tentacles lays against Victor's forehead for one moment, then slides down his temple and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "Why have you come, if you are sick?"

"I wanted to ask a favour."

"That much is obvious," the reply is somewhat amused. "What is this favour you wish of me? Speak. You have already paid, it is the least I can do to hear it."

"I– I want–" Unable to believe this is finally his chance to speak the truth out loud, Victor stutters. "I'm cursed."

He doesn't need to say more. The witch makes a small "Ah," as if he heard all he needed to know the situation, and retrieves his tentacles. Victor instantly misses their grounding touch, but he doesn't dare ask for them back. He sways a little, then grits his teeth and forces his body to obey.

"Come with me."

The witch turns back towards his cave. Victor intends to follow, but as soon as he pushes himself off the rock, all his senses protest. He doesn't even have time to make a sound before his vision darkens.

The last thing he remembers before he gives into it is the cool touch of tentacles wrapping protectively around him and cradling him like a newborn babe. In their safety, Victor slips into nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this brief beginning of the story I want to tell this mermay. more will be coming next week!


	3. CHAPTER 2

When Victor wakes, the world is no longer dark, but it is no less blurry than the waters outside the witch's cave have been. He blinks and blinks again, yet nothing changes. He tries to sit up, but even that proves to be too much for his body.

"You shouldn't move yet," comes a voice. "I will have a potion ready for you in about a minute. Wait patiently till then."

Victor sighs as he allows his body to relax. His head swims with thoughts that are leisurely and slow like a gentle tide. There are many, like waves in the sea, too. He thinks of how hungry he is, how weak he feels, how sleepy, how strange this all is, and wasn't he outside the cave? How did he come to be here? And where exactly is _here_ , really?

He tries to remember what happened, but the best he can reason out of his foggy half-awake memories is that he must have fainted from hunger. And then, the witch, oddly kind and caring, brought him into his cave.

"How long–" he asks, the words big and obstinate on his heavy tongue.

"Less than an hour," the witch answers. To Victor's eyes, he seems like a blur of shifting black: his tentacles move as he stirs a mixture in a cauldron made of a shell that glimmers with faint green. "I will listen to your story once you feel better."

Relief at those words makes Victor's head spin again. He simply breathes for a moment, trying to control it. Then, once it passes, he speaks again.

"Thank you. You're so kind… I, I must admit I did not expect this."

The witch moves from the cauldron and passes by Victor in search of something. A tentacle slides over his cheek, cool and soothing. The touch is tender, so surprisingly sweet that Victor shudders.

"What did you expect?"

"Someone more..." Victor pauses, unsure how to say what he means without offending the witch. "Someone evil."

The witch hums. A liquid sloshes somewhere, something glows, and then there is more sloshing for a good few seconds. At last, the potion must be ready, because Victor hears it being poured. Next thing he knows, he is gently being lifted in the witch's tentacles, while a shallow shell of the potion is pressed against his lips.

"Drink slowly. The entire thing."

The potion is cold where it touches Victor's lips and cold when it fills his mouth, but as soon as he swallows, it grows warm, warmer, and then settles like a hot ember inside his stomach. Like told, slowly, Victor drains the entire shell. And the more he drinks, the less blurry the world becomes. His hunger abates, his body gains strength and his thoughts cease their mindless wanderings. The potion warms him up from the inside, until Victor feels himself flush – once again healthy and fit.

Finally, he can be himself again.

The shell is pulled away from his lips once. The tentacles still hold him, though. Curious, since he remembers so little of what he's seen before, Victor lifts his eyes to look his saviour in the eye.

"Gods above and below," he whispers, struck by awe, " _you're stunning._ "

For the witch is no monster he was made out to be. He is… beautiful. Ephemeral. Gorgeous. His skin is darker than Victor's, but still light and his hair is black like ink, matching his tentacles. They wind around him like a protective cocoon, like a veil of black that has a mind of its own. On his neck and shoulders, and even on his cheeks spots of black, blue and creamy white speckle his skin like freckles that Victor has seen on so many sailors. There's his mouth with a pair of lips that is full and blue, a soft shade that makes Victor want to touch them and see if they are painted or natural.

And then there is his eyes. Oh, those eyes! Everything about the witch is black of blue, simply cold and uninviting, albeit beautiful, but his eyes are the only part of him that's different. They are brown, a shade of cinnamon or rowanberry cider or, or chestnuts and leaves in the fall. As Victor watches them, the colours shift between one brown into the other, still the same, yet different. And those, those eyes charm Victor more than the rest of him.

But the longer Victor looks at him, the longer his eyes trace every subtlety of the witch's form – like the way his spots climb towards his ears or the way one of them sits right below his left nipple – the more the witch frowns.

"Are you still feeling sick?" he asks. His tentacle returns to touch Victor's forehead and rests there for a while, whichafter his frown only deepens. "No elevated heat. And you do not look so pale now, so your blood pressure should be stable. Are you hurt somewhere?"

"Maybe here, a little." Victor touches his heart with his palm. "But only because seeing you has made me realize I have not seen true beauty until now."

The witch's eyes narrow, and like this he, too, is stunning.

"Are you… teasing me?"

"I only speak true and honest words of admiration. Is that not allowed? If I've broken some unspoken rule of conduct, please forgive me. But it is the first time I have seen someone like you and you have taken my breath away."

"Clearly, I have not. You are still speaking."

The words are dry, yet Victor does notice the slight darkening of the skin on the witch's cheeks. His blush, for that is what it must be, brings blue blood to the surface of his skin. Such a lovely shade, Victor thinks. Then, he smiles.

"Admiration of you must have given me new breath to worship you with," he reasons.

"Oh, enough of this."

That seems to be as much of his flirtations as the witch can handle, for he pulls back all his tentacles and shifts away from Victor. The way his limbs coil to cover his face, however, is rather telling. Smugness sits as warmly in Victor's chest as the witch's potion does in his belly. He wants to say more, but he is not afforded opportunity to do so.

"Before you succumbed to hunger, you mentioned a favour," the witch says, pausing a ways away from Victor. "And a curse."

He turns to him those beautiful brown eyes, which narrow the second Victor's adoring gaze begins to trace his lovely features again.

"Tell me your story now and I will see if it is within my abilities to help you."

So Victor relays to him all that he has heard from his parents: his birthday feast, the curse, the witch, and then how his body has changed, his illness and its consequences. He also tells him of his search for love and the one who would free him of this loneliness, this pain. He doesn't speak of his failed attempts in length, just enough to mention he tried, really.

The witch listens intently. His tentacles twitch from time to time as Victor gives an important piece of information, but otherwise he remains motionless.

"Hence, I have found my way to you," Victor finishes the story. "My friend mentioned that if anyone could help me break this curse, it would be you."

"And he was right," the witch answers, not at all humble. "I know Vasjana's temper. She was the one who cursed you. There have been rumours all those years back, you see. About her falling in love with a human. If she has been rejected, I wouldn't put it past her to store her power and exact her revenge just when everyone has managed to forget the original wrongdoing she intended to punish."

"Can you break it then?" Victor asks, hopeful. If this witch knows the one who did this to him, maybe it means he also knows the way to get rid of this damning thing.

"I wonder..."

The witch moves to one shelf, then another, mumbling to himself in a way that Victor is sure is a product of spending so much time alone in this cave.

But while the witch is busy, this gives Victor a chance to look around. There is a work station next to where he sits on a small bedrock covered with soft moss. The potion for Victor still glows faintly in its cauldron shell. There are other shells around, too. Of various sizes and shapes they take up most of the space around the cave floor.And then, most surprisingly, Victor spots bottles of glass standing in tight rows on the shelves that have been carved straight out of the cave walls. Never before has Victor seen glass in the underwater kingdom, and the sight of it shocks him. What else could the witch have from the human world? If he collects human artefacts as payment for his services, he should have far more than just this, no?

The walls are covered in seaweed to soften the interior and there is light trapped in an alcove above their heads. What is the source of it, Victor cannot see, but it is not the warm light of the sun – it is blue and cold, but not entirely unpleasant.

"You have a beautiful home," Victor tells the witch, who only hums at him distractedly.

He rummages through a shelf. The bottles click and clang sweetly as he moves them around. At last, he seems to find what he wanted, because he turns back to Victor triumphantly.

"I may be able to help you."

Victor's heart skips a beat. "Really?"

"This is a bottle of Vasjana's blood. There is power in blood, you should know, and more of it in a witch's blood," the witch explains. "Many enchantments and spells can be broken by the use of a counter spell or enchantment with a drop of the caster's blood. I had enough fortune to once challenge her before. I won. And this," he holds up the bottle with dark, slime-like substance inside it, "is my prize. Which, in turn, is very lucky for you. We can see if this method will work on your curse."

"And if it doesn't?" Victor asks.

The witch shrugs. "We have an entire bottle. Something must give at some point."

Unable to keep himself from hoping, Victor clenches his hands in his lap. "You believe it?"

The witch turns to him. His eyes gaze straight into Victor's, oddly soft. As if, as if he knew. As if he could understand. As if he truly, from the bottom of his heart, wanted to help.

Victor's heart softens at that, too.

"The only thing we can do is try. But yes, I believe it will help."

"Thank you," Victor offers. It feels inadequate, but it is the only thing he can say through his suddenly tight with emotion throat.

"Thank me once you are freed of your curse," the witch answers. "I haven't done a single thing yet."

"But you are willing to try. That's more than I hoped for, truly."

The witch says nothing to that. In the coil of his tentacles, however, Victor sees that what he has said has pleased him. He finds himself unable to withhold a smile. This witch, for all that he may be feared, is someone who is sweet and caring – this first meeting proves it. Above that, he is someone who is willing to try his hardest to free Victor from a burden that was not his to bear from the beginning. And for that, he is even more precious to Victor's heart.

It only helps that he is, what else to say, quite adorable in all his awkwardness, too.

"My name is Victor," long overdue, Victor introduces himself at last. "Prince Victor of the land of Ivasta. If you help me break this curse, I promise that I will give you anything your heart should desire. Anything in my power, name it and it will be yours. I swear it, by the sun and moon."

The witch's eyes gleam for a moment with a blue fire, as if Victor's words have awoken some deeply hidden desire inside him.But then he blinks and the mirage is gone. Victor thinks he might have been seeing things, the change happens so fast. No, he decides. This is the realm of magic. Spells, enchantments, potions and curses – it must have been something.

Yet then, before he can wonder about it further, the witch speaks and all of Victor's thoughts focus on his words.

"I accept your offer, Prince Victor of the land of Ivasta. My name is Yuuri, the Keeper of Lost Souls and the Witch of the Deep End. Should I succeed, I will have you deliver on this promise. Now, let us begin."

***

Victor never considered that working with a witch could be so plain, until he sees Yuuri spend two hours chopping and cutting and measuring out things to throw into a shell cauldron. The things themselves are rather peculiar, but nothing that one would not expect of a witch: some unnamed creature's eyes, a liver, beautifully shimmering scales, odd plants that Victor has never seen before, sea beetles and worms, and even powders that make Victor wonder how they stay dry so deep underwater. Then, he recalls magic, and he wonders no more.

And yet, watching Yuuri prepare the ingredients and add them to a new bubbling cauldron shell is not as exciting as he believed it would be.

"Does your work always look like this?"

Victor swims up closer to the working witch, so that he may peer into the potion. It is a beautiful shade of purple, but when Yuuri sprinkles some powder into it, it turns a delightful periwinkle. Like real magic.

"Most of the time," Yuuri allows, already busy with the next ingredient. "The folk who come to me usually do so for a potion, so most of my time I spend cutting and stirring. Speaking of which… do you wish to help?"

Eagerly, Victor claps his hands together. "I'd love to! What would you have me do?"

"There is a– Oh, you know what, I'll get it myself." Yuuri sets his knife aside. "Stir the potion seven times counter clockwise, please? That means to the left."

"I do know what counter clockwise means," Victor answers, giving into a smile. "It was humans who invented clocks, I'm sure you know."

Yuuri snorts softly, but does not indulge him. Victor takes the spot Yuuri has just vacated and begins the stirring. The silver ladle glows with the light that comes off the potion, blue at first, but the more Victor stirs, the paler it becomes, until it is almost white. Yuuri returns just when Victor finishes his final stir and peers into the cauldron.

"Perfect," he praises.

Victor cannot help but preen. As a prince, he has never gotten to do anything by himself. If he needed his food cut, someone was always ready to cut it for him. If he needed to pick something up, someone was already doing it for him. Yuuri's work might be boring to watch from the side, yet it definitely isn't when you actually participate. And, for the first time in his life, Victor was given the opportunity to do things himself, which made him even more excited about it all.

"What's next?" he asks.

"This and this," Yuuri says as he drops things into the potion, which sizzles and boils. "Shark's tongue and sun-dried eel skin."

"Sun-dried? Does that mean you have been to the surface?" Victor takes his eyes from the cauldron and looks at Yuuri. His face is aglow with the light from the potion, beautiful, yet oddly blank.

"I do visit from time to time when I need more ingredients," Yuuri admits. "The surface is a dangerous place, though. I'd rather not stay up longer than I need to."

For a creature such as him it is hard to imagine anything posing a real danger. Then again, Victor knows little of what it truly means to be a mer raised within the deep. He knows what humans are like, though. And he knows that should they come across Yuuri, he would not only be labelled a monster, hunted, fought, maybe killed, there would definitely be someone or multiple someones who would pay money to take him alive and keep him locked up in a cramped tank as a prize to gawk at.

Victor suddenly feels as if he should apologize for his people.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could show you the wonders the surface and land have to offer, but I am sure you are right. Humans… they aren't very understanding of what they fear."

"They?"

Yuuri peers at him over the bubbling potion. His eyes gleam with the eerie pale light.

"Don't you mean ' _we_ '? Aren't you a human too?"

Victor opens his mouth, then closes it without making a sound. Because Yuuri is right. Victor is one of them, a human. But also, also he isn't. He has never been a human, not really. Not in their eyes, not in his. He's been a half: half human, half mer. Never belonging to either world, not fully.

Something in Victor's face must show his pain, for Yuuri drops his gaze.

"I apologize. I shouldn't have said it like that," he says. "There is no fault of yours in what you have been made to be."

But Victor shakes his head. "No, you said the truth. I am human. But I am also mer. I don't… I really can't identify with either, because I'm both. And I'm neither, not fully. It's, it's strange, really, to not know where you belong, because in both of these worlds there is always a part of you that is different from everyone else. A part that no one will ever be able to understand."

He sighs, looking at his reflection in the potion.

"I used to think I was special, unique," he continues. "But maybe I just convinced myself of it in order not to feel like I don't have a place to call my own. Because, really, there is nothing special about me. I am just a human, cursed into this body. What's special about that?"

"What's special about that, indeed..." Yuuri repeats. "Do you need to be special, though? Isn't it enough that you _are_ , and that who you are is who you want to be? Why should you belong to a place that doesn't want you, when you can just make your own place to belong to?"

Victor's hand trembles where he holds the ladle.

"Make a place?" His lips barely move as he whispers the words. "But… how? I–"

"You don't need to know the answer now," Yuuri tells him, pulling out a stopper from a bottle filled with pure darkness. "Life is not a race. You can take your time and slowly figure it out. Can't you, Victor?"

He tips the bottle over the potion, which at some point has turned liquid silver. The black liquid drops into it and, from the center, the potion's colour shifts: from silver to pink, red, deep bloody red, then more and more into black.

Gently, Yuuri plucks the ladle from Victor's numb hand. He stirs the potion a few times, then takes a clean shell into which he pours a generous amount. He passes it to Victor.

"If you are ready, take a sip."

"It won't hurt?" Victor asks, as he accepts the shell.

"It won't," Yuuri assures. "A curse being broken should feel quite good actually. Freeing, ecstatic. You should be able to tell it's that when it lifts."

Victor nods. He gazes into the black potion and his dark reflection looks back at him.

"I didn't think I would be free so soon. This is all happening quite fast," he says.

He thought he was ready for this, but now that he is faced with the opportunity to rid himself of the curse, something holds him back. What will his life be if this works? He has never been truly a human. Always, always there was a tail below his waist, not legs. What will walking be like? Running? Will he be good at it? Can you even be good at it? And what about his arms? The membranes he takes so much pride in and so much care to keep oiled and soft and tender? Will he never have them again?

His hand shakes a little.

"There is no guarantee this will work," Yuuri reminds him, kind. As if he knows what Victor fears and feels for him. "If it doesn't, I will prepare something else. And if that doesn't work, then another might. But there is no telling what might happen until you actually drink it. Whether you do or not, that is your choice to make."

"That's what I came here for," Victor admits.

And yet, when he looks into the black potion, he doesn't feel like drinking it. Still, because of all the years he's suffered, because of all the times he caught his mother crying in secret, because of all the times he had to watch others have fun, while he had to sit on the side, unable to join them… Because of all that, he squeezes his eyes shut and lifts the shell to his lips.

In a few gulps, he drains the potion. The taste of it, thick and heavy on his tongue makes him gag, but he doesn't allow it to rise up his throat. He swallows harshly until it all settles inside him. The warmth from before is gone, replaced by the sick, slimy feeling that makes Victor only feel cold.

A minute passes, then another… and nothing happens.

"A failure, huh?" Yuuri asks, frowning.

"I think so? I don't feel much different," Victor answers. He looks at his body, but everything is as it was. Tail, membranes, fins. He wipes his lips with his thumb, unable to rid himself of the nasty taste of the potion. "So… we try again?"

Yuuri hums, already assembling the ingredients for a new potion. And, oddly enough, as Victor watches him, he cannot deny the confusing feeling of relief that makes his limbs feel shaky.

He believed so fully that he was ready to be free, but… what truly is freedom? Now, he no longer is sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you believed this will be a quick and easy story... I'm sorry, it won't be any of those things ;3c


	4. CHAPTER 3

Two more potions Yuuri finishes and offers Victor to drink before he sends him home for the day. Neither of his brews works and both taste as awful as the first one. Victor feels a bit queasy after each, but no change happens otherwise. His tail remains and his arms are still dressed with his beautiful membranes, which billow behind him as he twists and turns, checking for anything out of the ordinary.

"Go home," Yuuri tells him at last with a sigh. "Get something to eat and rest well. I will prepare something more potent overnight. Return back in the morning. After," he lifts a hand to halt Victor's question, "you get enough sleep. There is no need to hurry. I made a promise and I intend to keep it, which tends to go better if the one I have promised my help to is alive."

With that goodbye, Victor leaves the witch's cave. He doesn't know how much time has passed since he left Chris' place. A day? A day and night? Two days? His sense of time has already been skewed from staying on that uncomfortable rock for so long, and then resting unconscious in Yuuri's cave for who knows how long definitely did not help matters at all.

Victor feels a stab of guilt when he thinks of what Chris must be going through, since he has not heard from him in so long, and he hastens his return home. He barely makes it through the threshold when Chris captures him in his arms.

"Where have you been? Gods above and below, I thought you died somewhere!" Chris squeezes him so tightly that Victor grunts as his body protests. He does not beg for mercy, though. "You foolish prince, _what were you doing?_ I'm so glad you're safe, but don't you dare scare me like this again! Do you even know how much time passed since you left?"

Admitting his fault, Victor simply holds his friend as tightly. "I'm fine, Chris, I'm fine. And I'm sorry. I should've sent word, I just… forgot. The witch took me in, you see. I have been with him all this time. It slipped my mind that something as unimportant as time actually exists. Forgive me, please?"

The current of worry and excitement stirs the waters around them as Chris quickly pulls back. His face is pale and still a bit upset, but his eyes are wide with unasked questions.

"And?" he asks. Then, he pinches Victor in the ribs. "Come on, spit it out! How was it? Did he agree to help?"

Victor rubs his side. Even if it stings, he cannot help his grin.

"He did," he answers Chris' question. "And he already tried three potions on me, but none worked. He wants to see me tomorrow, too. Oh, Chris, he said he'll do his best to find a way!"

"That's wonderful!" Chris returns his smile. "You waited so long, I'm happy you are finally on the path that feels right for you." His smile sharpens. "Now, onto the good bits, you must tell me everything. How is he, as a mer? Have you two spoken much? Is he as terrifying as they say? How did you convince him to help? Go on, speak, you owe me for all the worry you've caused me."

"I'll tell you all after we eat," Victor answers. He squeezes Chris' arm in a way of promise. "I'm starving. I actually fainted right in front of his cave and he had to bring me inside."

"You _what?!_ "

"Food first," Victor demands.

The food is simple in the underwater kingdom. Any meat is served raw. There is no fire to cook it, at least not in homes of most merfolk. Yuuri did have a flame going under his cauldron shell, but it was magical, and not many folk could get that. More than just heat, there are no spices to season the meals with, because none are needed for merfolk who do not eat to enjoy themselves, but only to survive. All the nutrition that merfolk need comes from the blood and the meat. Their teeth and claws are more used to tearing pieces apart than for holding eating utensils, so they do not have a need for those either. And, mostly, the mer's diet consists of meat once a day and then weeds and sea grass for the other meals.

Victor resisted the idea of such meals for a long time, but he couldn't go back to the surface three times every day just to eat. He was forced by necessity to give the raw meat a try once… and it proved not to be quite as awful as he believed. The blood made the meat juicy, and even the harder parts weren't a challenge for his sharp mer teeth. In fact, a part of him, the mer part, enjoyed this new food far more than the dishes prepared by the royal cooks.

Since Victor has missed three meals at least while he was gone, Chris cuts him a hefty piece of shark, into which Victor sinks his teeth with gusto. Only once he finishes it off and begins to lick his claws clean, do they return back to the subject that has them both most involved.

Chris is almost trembling with anticipation by the time Victor lowers his hand from his face.

"He's incredible, Chris," Victor tells him, smiling at his friend's eagerness and the memory of Yuuri, both. "He's beautiful, really. They say he's a monster, but he was so kind to me. He brewed me a potion that soothed my stomach and he held me while I drank…" He sighs like the smitten mer he is. "He has all these tentacles, you know, but when they touched me they were so gentle! I don't know where these rumours about him come from. He was perfectly kind and sweet to me."

Chris strokes his scratchy chin. "Well, that's a bit of a surprise. But… have you thought that maybe he is doing this to trick you? I don't want to put your word in doubt, but maybe there is still something you haven't seen. Rumours do not come from nothing. You should be wary."

"My logical mind agrees with you. And yet, my heart tells me that I am not wrong." Victor flushes as he admits, "I told you I fainted before his cave, remember? I was so hungry, you see, but I didn't want to go back, so I just stayed on that rock and waited, and waited, and waited. When he came out of his cave, I thought I was dreaming. Yet he wasn't a dream. He took me in, Chris. He brewed me a potion to heal me, and then he listened to my story with such kindness and understanding in his eyes… Would a monster do that, you think?"

"You sweet idiot," Chris chides him. There is no anger in his voice, though. "You should've come home, if you were hungry enough to faint. What good would it do if you would've died out there?"

Victor shrugs. "But I didn't. Maybe it's fate? Maybe it was meant to happen like this, so I would find my way to Yuuri?"

"Yuuri?"

"That's his name," Victor says, smiling to himself. "Isn't it sweet? You should see his face when he blushes. He's adorable, and his tentacles coil around him like–"

"Victor," Chris interrupts him. This time his face is serious. "Please, please tell me I'm wrong. Because if I am right and you are interested in him like that, that would mean–"

"What?" Victor interrupts Chris in turn. "What would that mean?" Somewhat, he feels cold and upset, like he hasn't been with Chris in years. It's sudden and so violent that his hands shake until he clenches them into fists. "Even if I was interested in him, don't I have a right to be happy? Didn't I suffer enough in this cursed half life? Don't I, too, deserve something from the world that has made me into something that no one can accept?"

"Darling," Chris says, softer now. "I did not say any of that. I just mean that the witch might not be the best person to romance. He is a _god_. Do you even have any idea what it means to be a lover to a god?"

"I'd imagine it is very similar to being a lover of a prince." Victor scoffs. "Why are we even speaking about this? I am not in love and neither is he. Leave it be."

Chris sighs. His lips purse together for a moment, but he drops the subject in the end. Instead, he asks:

"What happens next?"

"He's going to brew what he can and then try other methods of curse breaking."

"And if none help?"

"Then I guess I'm doomed to mooch off you for as long as I come underwater every spring," Victor replies, forcing good cheer that he does not feel at all.

Most likely, Chris sees his faint attempt at lightening the conversation, because he follows: "Oh, woe is me! I think I'll have to begin to charge you then. After all, only one of us is a prince here. I'm sure you can afford to pay for your stay here."

Victor gasps. "Outrageous! I have never had to pay for a thing in my life!"

"Then it's about time you start! I might even accept payment in nature, if you are so inclined."

"Oh, will you? Now that's completely unsurprising and predictable."

They continue to bicker, but in Chris' eyes and his own heart Victor sees that neither of them have forgotten. It lingers in the waters between them like octopi ink, thick and dark and heavy.

If Victor cannot break his curse… what will become of him? No human will accept him as king, and no mer cares for human titles. He would be nothing to his people and he would be nothing to merfolk. He would be nothing. To anyone. Until one day, maybe, by chance, he is lucky to find his other half and flip his world around on its axis – to once more fight to find his place among those that think him all but lost.

What a bright, wondrous future awaits him!

Deep inside his heart, Victor feels sick.

***

"I did not expect you for at least two more tide waves," Yuuri says, surprised, when Victor arrives at his cave.

"I couldn't sleep," Victor confesses. "I thought maybe helping you will distract me from my thoughts." He smiles then. "But I think just looking at your pretty face might be enough to do the trick."

Yuuri's tentacles swish through the water as he turns away quickly, but not quickly enough to hide his blush from Victor.

"Come in then," he invites Victor into his lair. "The potion is stewing. I will need to add some more magic into it in one tidal wave, and then I will need your hair to add potency and create a conduit for the magic, so that it may unbind you specifically from the curse."

"Will this one work? What do you think?"

Victor follows Yuuri into his lair. Nothing has changed since he was here last. The only difference is more bottles and cauldron shells spread around the room. Victor spot three new potions brewing and wonders if all are for him. Maybe these will taste a little better on full stomach...?

"I wouldn't be trying this method if I didn't believe it would succeed… or bring us closer to finding the right method," Yuuri tells him. "There is no wasted potion here. If it doesn't work, it simply shows me that this angle was not the right one for your curse. It is almost as good as breaking it, really."

"Still, is there a limit to how many potions you can brew?"

Yuuri's lips quirk in a smile. "The only limit is the number of shells I can brew in. Then again, I seem to have acquired a helper, so I'm sure he will be more than happy to get me some when I run out. Won't he?"

Victor instantly realizes that Yuuri is teasing. The very idea fills him with giddy happiness. All the worries Chris shared with him about Yuuri, what are they in the face of this? Yes, Yuuri could be playing him. He could be out to manoeuvre Victor into something dangerous, to trick him and fool him, maybe even to hurt him. He could do that, but...

"Of course," Victor answers him, smiling. "I live to serve you, Yuuri. Whatever your heart or body desires, please use me to your pleasure."

A blush creeps onto Yuuri's cheeks and crawls down his neck, turning the spots there a shimmering, faint blue. His tentacles twitch and curl into themselves, as if Yuuri was fighting against the impulse to shrink into a ball and guard himself against Victor's words.

Would someone who means him ill act this way? Show such weakness? No, Victor doesn't think so. And that, in turn, means that this is genuinely what Yuuri is like. Sweet, a little shy, a little secretive and unused to being with another person.

He is all the more appealing to Victor for it.

"You say such embarrassing things." Yuuri swipes the hair from his forehead with a tentacle. "Has no one ever complained how misleading your words are?"

"Not that I know of," Victor replies sweetly. "So, what shall I help you with today, master?"

"Don't call me that, I am not your master." Yuuri dismisses Victor's flirting with a flick of a tentacle. "You're going to help me bottle the potion I made for you yesterday. Then you need to clean the three cauldrons, while I work on finishing this potion and continuing the other one I have started just in case this one fails."

Like Yuuri says, they do. Victor pours the healing potion for Yuuri, while Yuuri replaces bottle after bottle under the golden trickle of it without spilling even one drop. He could've done this himself, Victor realizes. Yuuri has so many tentacles that he could easily hold the shell and multiple bottles in them. But, Victor cannot bite back a smile, Yuuri asked for his help. As if he, too, wanted to spend time with Victor and learn more about him. As if something was pulling him towards Victor, just like Victor feels himself drawn to him.

The thought is so sweet that Victor spends his time cleaning the cauldrons with seaweed grinning like a fool. He is almost finished, when he hears it: singing. In the most lovely of voices.

He quickly turns around and, indeed, it is Yuuri who's singing. He is alit by the green glow from the potion, beautiful in every way. Ethereal, almost. One of his tentacles is stirring the ladle inside the shell, another is pouring in some liquid, drop by drop, and his voice seems to heat up the magical fire that has been gently keeping the cauldron shell warm.

But oh, the sound of it! The sweetness! It's a balm for his ears, and a balm for his soul, truly.

Victor pauses his work just to listen. He never thought that magic would require something like this. A song! How strange and how wonderful... He does not know what Yuuri is singing about, his words seem to be in a different language from the three Victor knows. And yet, he sounds lovely. There is a lilt to his words, a tone of question or pleading to the ends of the verses, and it entrances Victor deeply.

The song doesn't last more than a moment, but Victor remains motionless, struck in awe once more by Yuuri. He forgets his work, so enraptured is he in Yuuri. The witch seems to notice his frozen state, for he looks Victor's way. And then he flushes again, turning back just as quickly.

"Stop staring," he tells him, sounding tenderly embarrassed. "It will be hard for me to sing again with you around, if you keep making that kind of face."

"Forgive me," Victor answers, but he doesn't mean it. "I believe I might not need your potion soon."

This has Yuuri look at him again. "Why?"

"I think I just fell in love."

Yuuri mouth drops open in shock. And, Victor thinks, he might have been exaggerating his appreciation of Yuuri's singing, but… no. He most likely wasn't, for even like this, Yuuri does look sweeter than honey.

Taking his chance, Victor asks: "Would you mind if I kissed you?"

At that, Yuuri seems to return to himself. He blushes so deeply that even his chest turns blue and his tentacles draw into him as if a turtle drawing into its shell.

"Of course I'd mind!" he replies. "What kind of request is that? I agreed to help you, but not like that."

Victor doesn't really hear that, not truly. Because even like this, flushed and angry, Yuuri still looks so–

"Besides," Yuuri continues, as his lower tentacles twitch agitatedly, "for true love's kiss you need to be truly in love. Which we aren't. No," he adds when Victor opens his mouth. A tentacle points at Victor and jabs at him with every word. "You. Are. Not. In. Love. With. Me. _No._ "

He turns away from Victor in a manner that is clearly meant to be the end of the conversation. And while it might be for Yuuri, Victor feels in his heart something new. Something that he cannot truly believe, lest his hopes once again come unfulfilled.

He allows the topic to end here for the time being and spends the time cleaning the cauldron shells, but it is hard to get rid of thoughts of Yuuri. His singing, his face, his blush… even his anger! They are all at the forefront of Victor's mind. He may have been too hasty to call this love. He's willing to admit it. Yet, there is no denying that this is something. Something that Victor would not mind looking into, if Yuuri did so too.

Yuuri, however, doesn't seem to be inclined to try that way of breaking Victor's curse. Or, maybe, he isn't inclined to try it… yet.

With a smile slowly coming onto his face again, Victor sets the last cauldron shell into its shelf.

"Victor?" Yuuri calls. "Come here, please. I need your hair for the–"

Victor has already taken Yuuri's knife and brought it to his hair. He grabbed a fistful and almost got to chopping, before Yuuri makes a startled cry.

"Not that much! Just a few!"

"Oh," Victor gives. He sets down the knife and rips out a few of his hairs, somewhat sheepish. "Is this enough?"

"Yes. More than enough." Yuuri takes the hair, relieved. "Thank you."

The potion is pink in colour, but after Yuuri drops Victor's hair into it, it turns a beautiful lilac shade.

"It has to sit for a moment and then you can drink," Yuuri tells him after the final stir.

Victor hums at that. Somehow, ever since that dropped conversation, he has grown convinced that Yuuri will not be able to break his curse with potions. The feeling is hard to describe, but… he simply _knows_. Still, he is more than happy to drink any potion, if it means he gets to spend his days working on convincing Yuuri to kiss him.

While Victor debates the best way to go about it, Yuuri moves through the cave, checking on his stores. Victor has not had a chance to look so openly at his back and body before, so now he takes his chance to admire him. Because Yuuri is as different from other merfolk as Victor himself. For the most part, he looks almost human. His face and torso, hands and feet are like any Victor has seen at his parents' court. He cannot see if Yuuri has legs like humans do, or how else his body is built under the huge, skirt-like fins that hide it from view. But the truth is, if not for those, the multiple tentacles that grow out of both sides of Yuuri's spine and the charming blue spots on his skin, Yuuri could almost pass as a human.

It's a curious thing that of the two of them, one born human, one born mer, it is Yuuri who resembles a human more than Victor himself does. 

"Say, Yuuri, can I ask you something?"

Peering over his shoulder at him, Yuuri considers his question for a moment. Then, he nods and turns back to his work.

"Under those fins, are your legs like those of humans?"

The muscles in Yuuri's back twitch as his tentacles draw in. He doesn't look at Victor, but the way he bows his head clearly shows his embarrassment.

"You ask such personal questions," Yuuri says. "What's next? Are you going to ask me how my kind mates?"

"How _do_ you mate?" Victor quickly asks, eager to know.

Yuuri's tentacles swish through the water. "That is none of your concern."

"But what if I would like to, well, court you?"

Yuuri glances at him, eyes narrowed in suspicion, yet questioning.

"What does that mean?"

"Oh."

Victor realizes that merfolk do not have a need for such terms. They simply perform the mating ritual and thus are mated for as long as they both wish to be. It takes him a moment to find the words to describe the sentiment that must be as alien to Yuuri as many of merfolk customs used to be to Victor.

"That is a human term, I'm sorry," he speaks at last. "It means to bestow gifts and attention upon a chosen person in the hopes of one day mating with them."

Yuuri's tentacles draw in again. It's curious, this reaction. Whenever Victor mentions mating or anything related to affection, Yuuri seems to curl in on himself. As if he wanted to protect himself from something. What, Victor cannot tell, but it pains him to see someone so lovely hurt this way.

"You needn't concern yourself with me then," Yuuri tells him. "I do not wish to be courted."

"Can I ask why you are so opposed to this? I couldn't help but notice from your reaction before and even now that you do not look kindly upon love. Why is that?"

"I am a god, Victor," Yuuri answers with a sigh that makes his shoulders and tentacles droop. "Who could love me for me, when they only love the power I hold or the shape I take?"

His words strike something deep in Victor's heart. For a moment, he is breathless with it, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that someone else could have struggled with the same pain as he does.

"I know what you mean," he admits softly. "It is much the same for me on land. You see how I look, no? For humans, I am only a curious oddity, a beautiful thing to gawk at. That's why I want to break free of this curse."

"At least for you there is a way to break it."

Yuuri's voice is so quiet that Victor could've missed it, if not for the tender vibrations in the water. Before he can even open his mouth to ask, Yuuri is speaking again.

"I am almost out of blue shark teeth and I will need them for a potion, if this one doesn't work. I will most likely be gone tomorrow to hunt. You should–"

"Can I come with you?" Victor quickly asks, afraid that Yuuri would tell him to stay away. "I have never been on a hunt before. Not here, not on land. I'd love to see how it looks like."

"You do realize it's dangerous, right?" Yuuri gives him a dry look. "A hunt is no place for leisurely swims."

"But I would be safe with you, no? After all, you are a god. What creature could threaten you in the sea?" Victor smiles at the witch, who lifts a tentacle to his face to hide his blush.

With a sigh, Yuuri relents. "Very well. I could use the help. And the teeth are for your potion, so it's just as well that you help get them."

"I promise I will try my hardest not to get in your way," Victor vows.

Yuuri gazes at him doubtfully for a moment, before he sighs again.

"Somehow, I don't believe a word of that, but keep trying."

***

The potion Yuuri has spent an entire night brewing also doesn't work to change Victor's situation. It only serves to make Victor feel queasy and faint, so Yuuri allows him to collapse onto the bedrock by his work station until his stomach settles. He must have fallen asleep, lulled by the gentle sounds of clinking bottles and chopping and stirring, because he awakens suddenly when Yuuri's cold tentacle pokes him in the cheek.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Yuuri calls, amused. He keeps poking Victor even when he opens his eyes.

"Now this is how I'd love to wake up for the rest of my life," Victor says with a sleepy smile.

Yuuri withdraws from him, as if Victor's comment was too much.

"How are you feeling?" Yuuri asks.

"Better. I think sleeping helped, too."

"Good. You should head home then. If you truly wish to come along tomorrow, you need to be well rested."

"Or..." Victor sits up, grinning. "I could stay here. With you. Wouldn't it be quicker than me just going here and back?"

Yuuri's tentacles slash through the water. "Definitely not!"

"But Yuuri–"

"No, absolutely not! If you cannot be bothered to come here everyday, then don't. I am not forcing you to break your curse. You are doing this for yourself, remember that. It is not my duty to take care of you, while you're already proving a case more difficult than I imagined. I am a witch. I create potions and spells. I don't have time to–"

"I'm sorry," Victor interrupts him. And, this time, he truly is. "I did not mean to push you. If I crossed a line, then I apologize. Please, don't be angry with me?"

Yuuri's tentacles, tense and poised to strike, twitch at the soft tone Victor uses. And then, slowly, as if all his anger deflated out of him the longer he watches Victor's bowed in apology head, they relax just as Yuuri takes a deep breath.

"Go back home, Victor. I will see you tomorrow."

Like a scolded child, Victor leaves Yuuri's cave that day with his heart heavy. This… this wasn't what he wanted. Not at all.

He only hopes that by tomorrow they can both move past it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuuri may look like an octopus, but he's a real clam when it comes to feelings - prod him the wrong way and he just hides back into his shell  
> but we all know that victor will find a way, right? ;3c


	5. CHAPTER 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: shark attack, violence, blood

"You will hide behind a rock and wait until I am done," Yuuri tells him the next day.

He is a little cold, a little tense, but he doesn't treat Victor worse than he deserves. Victor expected a lot more from how they parted. All night, his mind was spinning awful, terrible theories as to how Yuuri will never want to look at him again, how he would tell Victor to get lost, how he would refuse to even hear his apologies…

Victor had a hard time approaching Yuuri, but Yuuri seemed to take one look at Victor's bowed head and then he was sighing. One of his tentacles had poked Victor on the head, right where his hair was thickest, and when Victor looked up, it was all over. All was left to memories.

They set out on their trip with lighter hearts. Victor's especially was so light, is still so light that he cannot help the silly grin from brightening his lips every time he catches sight of Yuuri.

"You will not endanger yourself needlessly," Yuuri orders in a voice that does not allow argument. He gives Victor a look, too, so unconvinced is he of Victor's compliance. "Do we understand each other?"

Victor nods quickly, eagerly.

"Good. Then repeat what I just said."

"I will hide behind a rock and wait until you're done," Victor repeats dutifully. "I will not endanger myself needlessly."

"And you will be careful, yes?"

"Yuuri..." Victor can't help the whine that has been building ever since they left Yuuri's cave. "I am not a child. This is not my first time in the higher waters. But I promise I will be careful."

At last, Yuuri gives a sigh. "Very well, I suppose that is the most I can ask. I'll give it a rest then, but you. You be really careful. I might not be able to get to you in time if you throw yourself into something reckless."

The sentiment, the idea that Yuuri would rush to Victor's rescue is oddly endearing. The small smile Victor gives Yuuri is met with a blush that further warms Victor's heart. For a brief second, his mind goes back to the sheer despair he has felt that night at the thought of being unable to have such exchanges with Yuuri again, and Victor feels as if he was newly reborn. As if new hope has entered his life, one that presented him with an opportunity he is determined not to waste.

They swim faster when they do not speak, but Victor is still astonished at how quickly Yuuri can move through the water. What with his body shape and the multiple limbs, it should seem that he will have more trouble with it than Victor. As it turns out, it is Victor who must do his best to keep up with Yuuri. Not once does he fall behind when he loses focus or when his tail hurts from flapping harder than he ever has.

But, truth be told, he doesn't mind falling behind. Not really. Because that also gives him an opportunity to catch a glimpse of Yuuri's calf from under his fins, or even his thigh – which are both very human and very, very appealing. His skin is pale, with that underlying hint of blue and sweet spots that match his colouring crawl over it in groups like fish schools.

Yet even they pale in comparison to the way his fins float in the water. For all that Victor can find a comparison, Yuuri's fins move much like jellyfish hats: floating up, then down with every push of his limbs that propels him forward. He's stunning, truly, and a mer as unique as Victor has ever seen.

Victor could watch Yuuri swim for hours and still find more things to admire, he's sure. Their journey isn't long enough to afford that. They swim for maybe two hours before the waters grow brighter and the first shark appears ahead of them.

Just as suddenly, Victor realizes they have a problem.

"There are no rocks here," Victor tells Yuuri, who doesn't look too happy about it.

"Stay here then," Yuuri tells him. "Keep your distance. And be careful. There might be more than one around here. Come to me straight away if you spot any."

Victor nods. "I can do that."

Yuuri swims away without a second glance. Victor watches him chase after the shark and catch it. Yuuri's tentacles glow with purple power from afar, light up the water around him. He makes for a truly spectacular sight, even as far as he is. Victor wishes he could come closer, but Yuuri's warning echoes inside his mind. And, like all things Yuuri says, this one seems to be as true – Victor barely has the time to dodge when he hears the sound of water parting behind him.

Huge jaws snap shut in the place where he has been only moments ago.

Fear stabs him so hard that for a second he freezes. It's pure instinct, pure fright that forces his limbs to move. The shark is fast, but that split second it took to twist towards him after attacking, Victor uses for his advantage. With his heart in his throat, he wastes no time in swimming straight for Yuuri. The shark, a ruthless predator, gives chase.

It's fast.

It's so fast that Victor feels the blood in his veins curdle at the thought of it.

It's so fast, and getting faster, or Victor is getting slower, the fear is getting to him and his body is shutting down from fear, but Victor can't just give up. He can't–

It's only the dexterity Victor's flexible tail offers that he doesn't get caught by his fins when the shark snaps at him again. It misses him, but Victor feels the vibrations of the water under its teeth, he feels it on his skin as if they already closed on it...

"Yuuri!"

Yuuri twists around at Victor's cry. The shark he was after is already subdued in his glowing tentacles. His triumph, his power… it all seems not to matter as Yuuri takes in the fear etched in Victor's face and spots the other shark, who gains in on him as Victor's muscles tire. Without a moment's hesitation, Yuuri releases the captured shark, which limply sinks down towards the depths. Yuuri spares him not a glance.

He starts towards Victor, who makes another desperate twist to avoid the teeth that they have come all this way for.

And it almost works. It almost, _almost_ works...

The shark's jaws clamp down and more than a half of Victor's hair gets trapped inside them. Victor cries out when the animal tugs him about, ready to tear him into pieces and break bones by pure speed and pressure of his own body flailing about uncontrollably.

His scalp hurts. His neck hurts. Oh, how it _hurts!_

Victor tries to free himself. He's ready to rip all his hair out, if he must. But those jaws… those terrifying jaws… Once they close, they will never open again, it seems. He's ripping his hair out by force, but the shark holds so much of it, it seems impossible. As he's flung about, Victor's vision is blurry with tears of pain and his chest feels as if he could never breathe again, and Victor almost gives up. He almost gives in.

When Yuuri's tentacles wrap around him tightly, Victor thinks that he's already slipping into the afterworld. They're warm and they glow with hot red power, the colour of ripe tomatoes, of blood, of life and death. As if in a dream, Victor sees them barrage the shark with a dozen punches – to its head, its underjaw, its belly and eyes; wherever they can reach, they hit with power that makes the water around them foam.

They glow so bright and move so fast that for a moment Victor barely sees anything. He has to close his eyes to it all, because the sight alone is too much. The water boils in Victor's ears, and even when he closes his eyes, he can see the flashes of red beneath his eyelids. It last all but a minute, and then, then…!

The shark gives one more painful tug, which hurts, hurts so much that Victor sobs, clutching onto his hair, where it is being pulled straight out of his scalp.

But then… then it is done.

The pressure on his head ceases. Yuuri's tentacles wrap around him more firmly and pull him close to his strangely heated body. Victor's own feels equally as hot, feverish almost. Out of fear, or fear mixed with the dire need for comfort, Victor tucks his face into Yuuri's shoulder as violent tremors run through his entire body. He trembles inside Yuuri's arms, raw and naked fear leaving his lips in terrible gulps of air and gasps, which make him feel as if he's drowning.

It was so close. _He could've died._ He _would've_ died.

If it wasn't for Yuuri, Victor would have been ripped to pieces. He would've been torn by the powerful jaws of the shark, who would munch on his flesh and forget about him within days. He would be gone, just like that, gone from the world, and no one would know.

Victor, a prince! And yet, here, in the underwater world, he's nothing more than helpless food for sharks and whales and other dangerous creatures. He's nothing, he's no one.

The truth of it settles in his heart right next to the fear that continues to wreck him apart.

"Victor? Victor, please, look at me," Yuuri asks, gentle. One of his tentacles strokes Victor's hair and each swipe of it echoes with lingering pain that makes Victor moan and cling close to him. "Victor, please. Let me see your face."

A tender tentacle tips up his chin. Too weak to resist it, Victor allows it. His face is a blotchy mess, red and pale at the same time, blotchy with his terror. He's sure that his hair looks absolutely awful, too. How can he meet Yuuri's gaze like that? How can he...

But he does. And in Yuuri's beautiful brown eyes, he sees nothing but softness and worry so, so sweet, so tender, so…so...

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Yuuri asks. Another tentacle slides down Victor's cheek, wiping away the tears Victor wasn't aware of shedding. "Did it get you anywhere else?"

Victor opens his mouth, but no sound comes to him. He bites on his trembling lip and shakes his head.

Yuuri releases a little sigh of relief. Gently, ever so gently, he hugs Victor close once again. The way he holds him, oh… Victor has never been held like this. Not by his lovers, not by his friends, not even by his parents.

"I'm so sorry," Yuuri says, and his voice trembles with something that Victor is too wired, too tired to understand. "I shouldn't have brought you here. That was so thoughtless of me. I put you in so much danger. Because of me you–"

"Don't," Victor interrupts him, hiding his face in Yuuri's neck again. "Don't blame yourself for this. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't–"

He loses his breath on it, as he once again begins to tremble. Yuuri must understand what he needs more than Victor does, for he begins to hum soothingly, a melody that brings something nostalgic out of Victor's fear-stricken heart. He doesn't do it only to calm Victor's tremors, though. His entire body begins to glow with a soft yellow light. Where they are touching, Yuuri's body cools as if to balance the heat that Victor struggles with. Seeking to give relief from his burning skin, Victor pushes himself more firmly against him and Yuuri's tentacles tighten around Victor's waist, tail, and shoulders to accommodate that.

In any other situation, Victor would rejoice at being so close to him, at feeling those sweet constraints bind them together. Like this, now, he is unable to enjoy even a sliver of it. Pleasure and love are farthest from his mind, since fear still courses through him, pain still makes his head throb.

"Let's return home," Yuuri whispers once his song is finished.

And, without waiting for a reply, he begins to swim back to his cave, carrying Victor and the captured shark in his tentacles. By then, however, Victor's consciousness has already slipped into fitful nothingness.

***

The encounter with the shark leaves Victor so exhausted that he does not wake for long hours after they return back to the safety of Yuuri's cave. He stirs slightly when Yuuri awakens him and forces a potion into his mouth, which will calm his nerves and dull the pain, and that too serves to put Victor straight to sleep not even a minute after.

He comes to himself in full maybe an hour or two later. His entire body feels heavy as a rock, his mind mulish like the waters outside Yuuri's cave. And, worst of all, his chest heaves as if a horse has kicked him and a hoof-sized bruise was forming right against his heart.

"How are you?" Yuuri asks. He drops his work in a haste at the first signs of Victor's stirring and rushes over to his side. "What hurts? Tell me, I'll help."

"My head," Victor mumbles. Even his tongue feels heavy in his mouth. Numb. Clumsy. "And neck. And I feel so… heavy."

Yuuri nods, as if it all made sense to him. "That would be the exertion and fear. It's a natural reaction of your body to danger. I can make you something for it, but I would recommend you battle through it yourself. About your head… I wanted to look at it, but I didn't want to wake you. If you feel up to it, I can do so now? I believe I have a potion that will lessen the ache."

"Please," Victor breathes.

He sits up and waits until Yuuri fetches the bottle from his stash in the other cave room. Those same gentle tentacles that have held him for so long run through his hair, slow and careful, but still... _it hurts._ Victor cannot suppress a hiss.

"How does it look?"

"It isn't that bad," Yuuri says, but Victor can hear the truth in his tentative tone.

"Hand me a mirror," he demands.

"Victor, wait–"

"A mirror, Yuuri," Victor repeats, harder now. "I gave you one, so you can't tell me you don't have it. Give it to me. Please. I have to see for myself. I have to– I have to know."

Without arguing again, Yuuri does as asked. And then Victor sees it: the damage is irreparable. He's missing a large chunk of hair, and what little remains is in tatters. But, worst of all, there is a bloody mess on the side of his scalp, where even flesh must have been ripped away in places–

A sob escapes Victor before he can hold it back.

"Shh, shh," Yuuri quickly says.

He wraps his tentacles around Victor and hugs him from behind. His cheek rests against Victor's shoulder and in the mirror Victor sees the pained furrow of Yuuri's eyebrows, the pain that is an echo of his own.

"You're still beautiful," Yuuri tells him. "And you will be again. I can heal this. I _will_ heal this. There is no need to despair, Victor."

And maybe he's right. Victor was ready to chop his hair off for Yuuri before. But now that it has been forcefully taken away from him… Still, Yuuri's words bring him some comfort.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Victor asks weakly.

"The most stunning mer I've seen," Yuuri confirms.

Victor looks over his shoulder. Like this, their faces are close and Yuuri's eyes widen as he, too, realizes it. He blushes and pulls away slightly, but his tentacles still hold Victor tight, as if he is afraid that when he lets go, Victor will crumble into dust.

Victor can't honestly say that he wouldn't.

"Will you cut it for me?"

Yuuri seems surprised by the request. It lasts only for a moment, though. Then, he nods.

"How short do you want it?"

Victor doesn't regret this decision, even when the first hair falls under the cut of the dagger Yuuri uses – the same one Victor has gifted to him in return for his help. Yuuri's tentacles are busy at work: cutting the hair, combing it with a beautiful coral comb, rubbing the healing potion into Victor's scalp, and making sure all of it is done with utmost care.

It hurts at times, stings and itches, but Victor bites his lips through it all. Once his scalp is healed, it even feels quite good. Allowing Yuuri to pamper him… Victor did want it before. He wants it now. For a brief moment, while Yuuri's tentacle massages his scalp and others do the same to his neck and shoulders, Victor forgets about the shark. This, sitting here with Yuuri, is what he wanted for so long. It's what he finally has. And it's as wonderful as he imagined… And yet. And yet.

"There, all done," Yuuri tells him once he is done. He swipes a tentacle through Victor's hair once more, but this time there is no pain. "How does it feel?"

Victor shakes his head lightly and only short bangs flop around his head. The rest of his hair is… gone. His head feels lighter, his neck colder, and he misses it wildly for a brief moment.

Then, he reminds himself, it is only hair. He's alive. And that's all that matters.

"Light. Good." He turns to Yuuri with a tiny smile. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me," Yuuri replies, sliding Victor's fringe away from his eyes with a tentacle. "Consider this my apology for putting you in danger, meagre as it is."

He offers Victor a smile, which makes something squeeze in Victor's heart. Suddenly, he once more feels an urge to cry, but he swallows it before anything can become of it. Hasn't he cried enough? It's only hair, after all. There's no need to–

"I think you should rest for today," Yuuri tells him, as if he's able to feel Victor's fragile mood. "I will finish brewing one potion, but it can wait till you feel better. You should go home and take a good, long rest. I promise I will still be here when you return."

Victor's hands clench on nothing as his heart begins to thump hard inside his chest again. "I– I don't think I can make it back home right now. It– it's a long way, and the waters are dark, and– I know you don't want me here, but please, can I stay? I promise I will not get in your way. I can sleep on the floor, or anywhere really, I just– I don't–"

He cannot finish. His voice gets stuck in his throat as it tightens so much that it is painful to even breathe.

But Yuuri seems to understand. He rests a hand on top of Victor's clenched fist and under his touch Victor slowly relaxes his grip. He opens his palm and Yuuri rests his own against it.

"Very well, you may stay," Yuuri agrees. "Come with me then."

He swims up into the alcove, where the light comes from. Victor follows after him slowly. His body still feels heavy and tired, so moving doesn't give him as much joy as it usually does. He is curious about what Yuuri intends to show him, though. Curious, but also exhausted, and he hopes that his lack of enthusiasm will not make Yuuri think less of him.

He needn't have worried.

The alcove is far bigger than Victor expected it to be. The light that Victor has spotted before is a simple contraption: a magical orb trapped in a basin shaped of pure gold, which reflects the light into the room below. It's simple, yet ingenious. It is not the lamp that garners most of Victor's attention.

Beyond the lamp, however, is a curtain of seaweed woven tightly together to block out the light. Yuuri waits for Victor with one end of the curtain lifted for him, so Victor slips past him with a thankful smile. The room that opens there is Yuuri's bedroom, he realizes instantly. The roof of the alcove here seems to be open onto a sky full of tiny winking stars. Of course, it cannot be, not this deep underwater, but the glowing dots on the ceiling remind Victor so much of stars that he gasps in awe.

There is no other light here, yet the room is lit enough that Victor can spot a table with a basin and a bottle of some potion next to it, and a bed covered with a bedding of woven seaweed stuffed with moss.

Surprised, Victor turns to Yuuri.

"Go to sleep," Yuuri tells him at the look. He offers Victor a tiny smile. "I will be up for a few more tidal waves, so you should take this time and rest comfortably."

"But– It's your bed," Victor says, unable to suppress a blush. "Is it really alright for me to use it? Where will you sleep?"

"Don't worry about me. You need it more than I do at the moment."

Yuuri smiles as he herds Victor towards the bed.

"Where will you sleep, Yuuri?" Victor asks again, determined to get a reply.

Yuuri must see this as well, because he answers: "I have a lot to do. I might not sleep at all. The potion needs to be finished and the shark harvested. I do not require as much sleep as others. I will be well for the time being, do not fret about me."

It all sounds reasonable, but Victor is still unconvinced as he allows himself to be pushed onto the soft moss pillow. He looks up at Yuuri, at his head framed with the beautiful light of the ceiling stars.

"What are those?"

"A little of my magic I have poured into this cave to keep it safe," Yuuri answers, also looking up.

He smiles and oh… Victor's heart tightens again. It's such a beautiful, soft smile. He wishes he could touch it, touch it with his lips, touch it to his heart so that, for once, it may stop aching like his scalp has thanks to Yuuri's potion. Something of his longing must show on Victor's face, because Yuuri's smile wavers. It doesn't fall, though. He keeps it up, and gently, tenderly rests a tentacle against Victor's cheek.

"They should keep you safe while you dream," he says.

"Thank you," Victor replies. And, because he can't do what he truly wants, he takes the tentacle and rests a grateful kiss against it. "For everything."

Yuuri's cheeks colour a little and the tentacle in Victor's hand curls at the tip, but Yuuri doesn't withdraw it, sensing that Victor needs the comfort more than Yuuri is discomforted by giving it. Emboldened by his wordless approval, Victor grasps at this chance.

"Can I ask one more thing of you?"

"What is it?"

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Yuuri thinks about it for a moment, then runs a different tentacle through Victor's hair. It doesn't hurt, it's so light, so tender and soft. And yet, he feels it. The soft sensation makes him sigh and tremble, equally from the memory of what happened today and out of pleasure at being touched like this.

Like he's fragile, which he is. Like he's precious, which he hopes to be. Like he's… something, which Victor longs to become.

"I'll stay," Yuuri says. "Now sleep."

Holding onto Yuuri's tentacle and with another stroking his hair, Victor feels cared for in a way that he hasn't before. Because this is different than his mother's touch, which has grown cold over the years. It is different from his father's touch, which has stopped altogether when he was still a teen. It is different from a lover's touch, which is passion, heat and want, yet rarely this.

Because this, this is another being, one who is not related to him, not wanting him,yet caring about him enough to give him his bed, his time, his protection… To give him all Victor needs, but not all he asks.

It's special. It's touching. It's something Victor wants to cherish beyond this cave, beyond the water. It's something that he wishes to care for until his final hour.

When Victor's eyes finally close against the terrors of the world, a tear escapes from under his eyelashes – unbidden, unwelcome, yet free. It doesn't fall, like many have fallen before. This time, Yuuri is there, and his tentacle catches it and wipes it away, soft and tender like a sweet dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's nothing else that brings people together than a near-death experience, don't you think? ;3c


	6. CHAPTER 5

Victor sleeps like a log. Be it the soft bedding or the safety of Yuuri's presence, he gets the best sleep he has gotten in years, it feels. He doesn't know how long he spends in Yuuri's tucked-away bedroom, but he indulges just a little longer after finally waking. He should be allowed this, he thinks. After the day he's had…

When he stretches out, still sleep warm and completely at ease under the soft blanket of seaweed, the only thing that has remained of the aches of his body is a little tingle on his scalp and neck. For the first time since the attack Victor runs a hand through his now short hair without fear of what he'll find there. As it has always been, it feels soft under his touch. Light, like spider web. And then it ends, so abruptly that he can't help but miss the rest of it.

But there is no pain. He touches his scalp here and there, but his skin only tingles. All of it is healed up and, magically, the hair he's been missing has grown out overnight. Again and again, Victor runs his hands through it, unable to believe there is not a trace of the tragedy that struck him just a day before.

No evidence on his head, apart from his now short hair, and no pain in his body. No heaviness on his heart, no muscle aches, no lingering fear.

It's all thanks to Yuuri, Victor recognizes. He saved Victor, healed him, then kept his mind at ease by allowing him to stay close. If Yuuri wasn't there… If Yuuri wasn't who he is, Victor would most likely be–

He shakes his head and his short hair tickles his cheeks softly. Just thinking about it is too scary.

To distract himself, he rises from the bed. This part of the cave is always dark, what with being meant for restful sleep, but the stars of Yuuri's power woven into the stone light the room enough that he can make his way to the seaweed curtain. After the darkness of the bedchamber, he's almost blinded by the magical orb that seems to be glowing day and night. Victor allows his eyes to adjust to the light before he swims down to Yuuri's work room.

He doesn't find Yuuri there, which he hoped he would. There are not that many nooks to this cave, after all. And this, Victor knew, was Yuuri's favoured. Where could he have gone then?

Victor looks around carefully and it is only on the third lap around the room that he spots a curtain of black fabric on one of the walls. It is almost invisible against the shadowed rock, but a ripple created by Victor's passing makes it waver in its place. Curiously, Victor lifts it. What is hidden behind it is a passage lit by similar dots like the ones on Yuuri's bedroom ceiling. These, here, are green instead of yellow, though. They give the passage an eerie glow, which almost dissuades Victor from entering. This, as if he needed further proof, reminds him of the stories he's always heard: of witches and their evil, haunted lairs.

And Yuuri truly is a witch, he thinks.

A sweet and caring one, unlike the witches of the tales. A beautiful sea witch, who saved Victor from danger and healed him carefully after. A good witch, Victor decides, though it has hardly been a debate.

Again, as he peers into the passage, his curiosity wins against his better judgment. He swims through the tunnel, deeper and deeper, until he leaves it on the other side. The waters here are cold enough to make him shudder. This chamber is almost as big as Yuuri's work room and likewise filled with jars and bottles. The main difference make the hooks on which various animals hang in different stages of harvesting.

Victor flinches away from the sight of octopi insides that greets him when he turns his head to the right.

There is a light orb in this room as well, hanging by the cave roof, and in its light Victor finally finds his witch. On his knees, Yuuri is skinning the shark that attacked Victor with quick, confident slashes of the knife he holds in his hand. His tentacles flip the animal with ease in a methodical, pragmatic tempo. The animal is already left with no teeth and no eyes, its blank, empty gaze even more grotesque than it was before.

Victor chooses the moment when Yuuri rolls the shark over to the side once more to speak, in case he startles Yuuri and the knife cuts somewhere it isn't supposed to.

"I didn't know there were more rooms here."

Yuuri twists his head to him, but does not rise from his knees. "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"So much better," Victor replies, swimming up closer. "Is this where you keep your ingredients?"

"When they're fresh," Yuuri replies. "That and food. Speaking of which, are you hungry? Potions aren't an infallible substitute for real food, so if you can get meat, you should."

"I'm not that hungry yet. I can wait until you're done here and then…we can eat together?" Yuuri offers him a consenting nod, and Victor smiles. "Do you need any help?"

He peers over Yuuri's shoulder at the carcass of the shark. He hasn't noticed before, but there is a cut on the underbelly of the beast. And blood, blood rising in a red cloud all around Yuuri. It tickles Victor's nose, so strong is the odour. He almost sneezes, and he wrinkles his nose at the sensation as he pulls back.

"I can do this myself," Yuuri says. "But thank you."

He smiles at Victor and, maybe because Victor has just suffered a brush with death or maybe it's simply his imagination but, that smile looks like the brightest, sweetest one Yuuri has given him this far. Victor cradles it in his heart's hands as he perches on a stone shelf away from the cloud of blood rising from the carcass and watches Yuuri work.

It's a beautiful sight, too. The muscles of Yuuri's back twitch every time he uses his tentacles. They shift and swell when he turns the shark about or rips some stubborn slice of skin off. When he's done with the skin and knife, he takes up an axe from the side of the wall, where other weapons hang in a neat line. Yuuri chops off the head and tail first, and then he parcels the body into even portions before he puts all of it away, save for the head.

With a spell, a song so sweet that Victor's throat tightens at the longing it awakens in him, Yuuri gets rid of any remaining blood inside the cave, and then turns towards Victor again.

"What are you in the mood for? I have shark, obviously, and some leftover squid, octopus and a last piece of whale, if you want something more hearty."

"I don't think I'll be able to stomach shark for weeks," Victor grimaces. "I'll take octopus, please."

"Coming right up."

Yuuri pulls a bowl off one shelf, then another from a different one and he gives Victor both.

"Can you take them to the other room? I want to grab this guy. He'll be the base of the next potion."

Victor grimaces again. "For my curse?"

"Have you decided to stop trying to break it?" Yuuri asks in a voice that is flat, yet amused. It I not really a question, but a statement that they both know the answer to, so Victor replies in the same way.

"Have you decided to kiss me so that I can try a different angle?"

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," Yuuri tells him, avoiding his question expertly by addressing Victor's understandable dislike of all things shark. Still, Victor spots the all too telling darkening of one of his ears. As much as he can see of it anyway. "Come, let's eat."

They return to the brightly lit room, where Yuuri closes the curtain and spells it shut with a deep hum. Together, they sit on the mossy bedrock and eat their meal in relative silence. Victor is still licking his fingers when he spots Yuuri looking at him. Their gazes meet. Unable to resist the temptation to tease, Victor sucks on his finger without dropping his gaze. His mouth makes an obscene sound as he pulls his finger out and Yuuri's face bursts into colour.

The laughter that escapes him is something Victor can't really help.

"You say you aren't interested in me at all, but at times like this it's so hard to believe you," Victor tells Yuuri. And before Yuuri can say anything back, Victor reaches over to wipe his thumb against the stain of blood on the corner of Yuuri's mouth. He smiles when Yuuri blushes again. "You had some blood on you, darling."

"I don't think I am the one for you, Victor," Yuuri says, resigned. He sets his bowl in his lap, sighing so deeply that his tentacles sway.

"And who decided this?"

Yuuri refuses to look at him. "It is not about making decisions. It's about suitability and similarities of character and common goals and, well, other things."

"Other things? Like what?" Victor prods. Everything Yuuri has named, those things they could grow to learn about it each other with time. If, that is, Yuuri allowed them that time to do so. "Does attraction count in your calculations too? If I remember correctly, it was only yesterday that you told me I'm beautiful. The most stunning mer you've seen, I think was the phrasing. And, trust me, I won't be forgetting that anytime soon."

His slow, smug smile is even fuller when Yuuri's tentacles twitch restlessly around him as Yuuri's neck and chest begin to flush, too, in what must be obvious shyness.

"That wasn't– It isn't–"

"And I do think you are gorgeous, you know?" Victor doesn't let Yuuri's flustered words take hold. "You are unlike anyone else I've seen, but you are also a little bit like me. And, Yuuri, trust me when I say it, I know what loneliness looks like. They have labelled you a monster, but that isn't true. You are sweet and kind, and so worthy of love. Why do you insist on not allowing me to give you that? Why do you insist on not taking it when it's offered freely?"

"Because you deserve better," Yuuri answers, quietly. His tentacles have drawn in about him, as if to hug and protect a vulnerability that Victor could not see, yet Yuuri felt. "We've known each other for what, a week? You cannot love me. You don't know me, Victor. You don't know who I truly am. And without that… How could you love someone whose heart you haven't truly seen?"

"Then let me stay here and get to know you. I'd love nothing more," Victor counters. He rests his hand on top of Yuuri's tightly clenched fists.

Yuuri seems to shudder at Victor's touch. The tentacles twitch and shiver, but do not move to push Victor away. Or to push Yuuri away from him. Instead, Yuuri sits still as his eyes close for a brief moment when he simply breathes, considering Victor's words and his own.

"Let's say I allow it," he says at last. His eyes turn to Victor's, serious and thoughtful, and Victor straightens, knowing he is facing a test he must not fail. "Have you spared any consideration for what will happen to me if I am not your true love? If I invest myself, if I fall in love with you and then we will learn that it was all for nothing? What should I do then, Victor? What should I do with my broken heart once you leave in search of your true love? What of it, Victor?"

When Victor doesn't answer, lost on what to do, what to say to convince him that he would not, Yuuri rises from the spot beside him.

"You may stay here for as long as your curse remains unbroken, but that one matter… leave it be, Victor. Please," he says. "We were not meant to be together."

His retreating back looks so small and lonely that Victor almost reaches out to him. Only the uncertainty of what he could do to soothe it stops him. Because Yuuri is right. If they would prove to not be soulmates… Victor would leave, wouldn't he? He'd have to. For a chance of a normal life, of a human life among his family, he'd have to give up any relationship but the one that could break his curse. What could he offer to Yuuri, then? Nothing, he knows. Absolutely nothing. Not even his forever unchanged heart. Only a fleeting heartbeat in the eternity of life. And that, that is not enough.

The thought of that conversation doesn't allow his mind any rest that day. He struggles to focus on anything else, and when it comes time to sleep again, Victor cannot stand it. Yuuri graciously allows him to remain in the cave, in his bed, but Victor cannot take joy in it. He tosses and turns, and all he can think of is Yuuri. Of what to do, what to say, what to feel, when feeling should be as simple as breathing.

But, he thinks, Yuuri's arguments always base on not being who Victor hopes they are. Yuuri does not want to consider the possibility. He doesn't see it. And, because of it, he doesn't believe. How can he, though, how can he know they aren't meant to be if he hasn't even given them an honest try? If he hasn't even entertained the thought for one fleeting moment? Has he imagined how wonderful, how magical finding a soul to match your own could be?

Victor sees the potential there. He feels love already budding inside his heart. Tiny, tiny flicker of it. It is not enough to burn, not enough to be even called a flame. It is only a spark. But it's there. And, he knows, that it is not impossible to make Yuuri feel it, too. Yuuri is just too stubborn. He's too focused on being hurt, on being forgotten… On being replaceable.

And, suddenly, Victor realizes – he must simply make sure Yuuri focuses on something else. And Victor must show him that his fears have no basis in the truth of his heart.

Rising from the bed that Yuuri again has offered him – and isn't that just the kind of gesture that speaks volumes of his already growing affection towards him – Victor swims through the curtain and pauses at the top of the alcove.

Yuuri is still working on a potion, his back bent. He doesn't notice Victor, doesn't pause the stirring.

"What if I don't leave?" Victor asks.

Yuuri turns to him, squinting when the light that glows behind Victor strains his eyes. Victor swims down to meet him on the same level and, fighting a flustered flush, repeats his question.

"What if I don't leave? If I promise to stay here with you for the rest of my life and cease searching for a way to break this curse?"

Yuuri does not react at all how Victor expected. He imagined widened eyes, excitement, maybe a stuttering disbelief. What Yuuri gives him instead is a calm refusal that stings, yes, but does not kill Victor's hope. Not yet.

"You're a prince," Yuuri reminds him. "An only child, too. Your parents–"

"It's their fault I am what I am. They can suffer the consequences like I've had to suffer them my whole life. This is my choice. They will have to accept it. And I," Victor pauses, then takes Yuuri's hand. Yuuri doesn't pull it away and it sits, cold, in Victor's grip. But it's there. It's there, and Victor hopes against all hope, "I want to make you my choice, too."

"Victor..."

Yuuri starts, but stops. He seems to battle with his own thoughts. He frowns, he grimaces. His tentacles twitch with unease. And then, at long last, he seems to make a decision.

He pulls his hand out of Victor's and turns away towards his work dismissively. Before Victor's spirits can fall at the final denial, before he can shut his eyes against the words he is sure are coming, Yuuri says:

"Go back to sleep, Victor. You need to be well rested to court me properly."

The joy that screams in Victor's heart is so loud that he cannot hold it in: he gives a squee of happiness, hugging Yuuri from behind. Yuuri's tentacles feel wriggly on his chest, like a nest of glowing eels, but Victor doesn't care. He's too happy in that moment to care about anything other than Yuuri's agreement.

"You won't regret this. I promise!"

Just as Yuuri's tentacles coil to push him away, Victor lets him go. He drops a tiny kiss on Yuuri's spotted cheek and laughs at the lovely, blue blush that rises onto Yuuri's skin as his tentacles glow a brighter blue. Before Yuuri can say anything, anything at all, Victor escapes back to Yuuri's bed with happy flicks of his tail. There, he stares at the fragments of Yuuri's power imbued in the rock and grins, grins at them like a loon.

Because he will not waste this chance. Fate has finally smiled down on him, of that he's sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally some progress, huh? ;3c I wonder what's going to come out of this ;3c ;3c ;3c


	7. CHAPTER 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember the things I warned for in the notes on the first chapter? they're finally happening. 
> 
> warnings for this chapter: demonic possession, mer smut, oviposition, eggs, mer biology & genitalia, tentacle sex, angst

Things change after the promise Victor makes to Yuuri and, most importantly, to himself. Yuuri is more open, more susceptible to Victor's sweet-talking, as if all that has been holding him back from honestly replying to Victor's budding feelings was the prospect of one day having his heart broken by nothing more than fate. And that, Yuuri's newfound sweetness, in turn makes Victor wonder if, with enough flirting, Victor couldn't have gotten him to say yes anyway. As things are, he does not regret the promise he made: he's more than happy to give Yuuri his all and end his quest at that.

Before he knows whether Yuuri is the one or not, however, he must do his best to make Yuuri fall in love with him. And that in itself, even if Yuuri is more open to him now, remains a great challenge.

Despite Yuuri giving Victor a chance, courting someone you barely know it's difficult. So for the first few days after that night they spend every minute talking. Victor learns so many things that long into the nights he continues to spend in Yuuri's bed he cannot find a wink of sleep. His head is spinning with all the facts, all the information, every single bit and piece of the complex mosaic that makes up his favourite sea witch.

He now knows that Yuuri's favourite colour is pink, that his tentacles glow with different colours depending on the emotion Yuuri feels at the moment, that his parents still live on the other side of the ocean, that he has an older sister, and that none of them are cecaelias like him.

"It was my grandmother," Yuuri explains when Victor asks how he came to be what he is now: a stunning mer, unique even among their kind. "She was the witch who taught me the beginnings of magic and then another witch, Minako, my mother's childhood friend and grandmother's student, took over my schooling when grandmother died."

He tells Victor more about his work, too. How he makes potions and spells for those in need, how he never refuses to help a mer whether they pay or not. With every word, every new thing, the tiny ember of Victor's love begins to grow into a beautiful, strong flame of pure and honest admiration. Because Yuuri, scary as he might look at first glance, is a precious, sweet thing, who only ever wants to help and heal. Victor aches for him, longs for him, and loves him more with each passing day.

A month passes before Victor notices. His time has never flown by so fast. But, truth be told, every day spent with Yuuri feels like just a few seconds: too short, yet precious all the more for it.

One day, Yuuribegins to ask Victor for help in brewing potions. Victor is more than happy to bring him this or that, but at the end of the day Yuuri's eyes take him in long and hard, and the next morning, Yuuri starts to talk. He shows Victor the bottles on the stone shelves one by one, naming them and listing their properties.

"If you are going to stay, you may as well get used to helping me," he says, and if it was anyone else speaking, Victor would think them rude. But this is Yuuri. His orders are sweet like summer wine, and Victor happily takes all he says to heart.

Yuuri teaches him the names for liquids and shows him the differences between all the kinds of shark teeth and sea creature eyes. He tells him how to spot which blood bottle came from what animal by sheer colour of it under light. He demonstrates the proper way of measuring out blood, corrects Victor's technique as he grinds narwhal horn into shimmering powder.

He's a masterful teacher and Victor is an eager student – even if it is way too much for him to learn at once. He does his best, tries to remember as much as he can, which Yuuri must clearly see and appreciate, for one day after Victor names all of the items on a shelf correctly, Yuuri, blushing the most precious blue, gives Victor a tiny kiss on his cheek as a reward.

Oh, that makes Victor grin like a loon for an entire week! It also breaks some unspoken barrier between them, too. As if before touching was kept for the most dire of moments, this one step that Yuuri has taken propelled them towards the waters Victor could not wait to chart. So, with this wordless invitation, Victor doesn't wait any longer. Whenever he's close, he makes sure to touch Yuuri lightly. Be it with his hands or fins, or even his tail, the urge to feel Yuuri against him is too strong to resist. And the sweet, sweet way Yuuri reacts to him – his blushes, the sway of his tentacles, the gaze here and a shiver there – they make it so much harder to keep it just that simple.

There is one thing, however, that still weighs on them. Victor, honest in his promise to cease looking for a way to break his curse, could not care less for it. Yuuri, on the other hand… He can't seem to or doesn't want to drop it. As if Victor's curse has become more than just what brought them together, Yuuri refuses to let it go.

"I want to find a way," he tells Victor one night, when Victor awakens from his dozing on the bedrock in the work room. Victor asks him to turn in for the night, but Yuuri only shakes his head. "This is a problem I want to solve, Victor. For you, yes, but also for myself. A curse so complex… I want to break it just for the sake of being able to say that it was I who devised the way behind its demise."

He's stubborn in this, like in many other things. Victor takes notice of this trait instantly. This, too, only serves to endear Yuuri to him even further, as if Victor's heart has already decided to love every single thing about the witch. Not that Victor can blame it. Yuuri is the most beautiful, the loveliest, the sweetest mer he has met. And he's met quite a few.

On top of the lessons and daily doses of potions and spells Yuuri still tries on Victor – none of which ever work, which Victor still believes is a sign that only Yuuri's kiss can save him – Yuuri gives Victor a tour of the cave. He shows him the rooms Victor already knows and then another passage out of the main room, which leads to three more rooms – a storage for completed, bottled potions, a dark empty room and another room for cauldron shells and other spare working utensils. On their way back, in that tight passageway Victor doesn't lose the chance to brush his fins against Yuuri's lightly, as if on pure accident. The resulting tremble and the blush that brushes across Yuuri's cheeks are as delightful as the sweet thumping of Victor's heart inside his chest at their proximity.

Closer and closer they grow, until Victor can tell Yuuri's mood by simply looking at the movement of his tentacles. If they twitch with agitation, Victor knows to rub a gentle hand between Yuuri's shoulder blades, where his muscles tense up the most when he's stressed. If they shift lazily through the water, Victor is happy to wrap his arms around Yuuri and watch him work with his chin on Yuuri's shoulder. If they are drawn in, Victor takes care to convince Yuuri to take a break and massages his tentacles one by one, from the spots in his back to the very tips, which makes Yuuri sigh and then giggle as Victor touches the more sensitive parts.

They spend the days in perfect harmony, and nights… well. Victor has taken to sleeping in Yuuri's bed, since Yuuri offered, but not once has Yuuri joined him. Or, not once that Victor knows of. Every night he goes to sleep alone and wakes alone, while Yuuri just keeps on working. He seems to never sleep, in Victor's eyes, and one day Victor cannot help but asks about it.

"I do not need that much sleep," Yuuri admits. "And what little I need, I get just as well here as up there." He nods towards the moss-covered bedrock near his work table. "You shouldn't worry about it."

"But I do," Victor insists. He takes Yuuri's hand and gives a small, warm smile when Yuuri's cheeks darken. "Will you please come sleep with me in that wonderful bed you've made? For yourself, might I add? I promise I will try to keep my hands to myself, irresistible as you are."

Yuuri's entire face blossoms into darling, glowing blue that pulses through his tentacles in a startling flash. "It's still a bit too soon for that… For me."

Victor sighs, even if he understands. He simply lifts Yuuri's hand and kisses his spotted knuckles.

"One day then," he agrees. "Can you promise me that?"

And Yuuri nods his head in wordless agreement.

Since that day almost another month has passed and change is nowhere near on the horizon. Because Victor cannot seem to find a way to convince Yuuri to sleep in his own bed with his words alone, much less sleep with Victor in it, he hopes to do it some other way. For instance... catch Yuuri sleeping on the bedrock in the work room and bring him up to the comfort of his bed, only to smile sweetly at the waking Yuuri and ask how he slept? My, what a perfect plan, indeed!

With that mischief in mind, Victor forces himself to stay awake one night. He listens closely to the sound of Yuuri's cutting knife, to the telling tune of the ladle dragging against the inside of the cauldron shell, to the swish of water as Yuuri moves about. Only when all sounds cease, deep into the night, does Victor lift the curtain and make it down to begin his work.

Yuuri, as always, doesn't make his task any easier. He's simply gone. There is not a trace of tentacle in the work room. Definitely no sleeping witch on the bedrock, like Yuuri claimed. Victor expected to find him curled up on himself right over there, balled up in his tentacles and calm and quiet like an angel, but no. Yuuri most definitely is not there.

Thinking that Yuuri must have gone into one of the side rooms, Victor waits and waits… and waits. And Yuuri doesn't return.

Curious, and just a smidge worried, Victor takes the first passage, the one that leads to the meat storage. No Yuuri there, either. He takes the other passage after that and looks into each of the rooms. It's in the dark one that he sees some movement. As if… a shadow? A tentacle? Twitching?

He swims up closer, convinced that it must be Yuuri's moving in the dark.

And it is.

Except as soon as Victor draws near, those tentacles he's come to love like Yuuri himself all wrap around him and pull him into the darkness. Victor gives a little sound of surprise, but doesn't resist.

It's Yuuri. It's just Yuuri. There is nothing to fear here, he knows, because Yuuri would never hurt him.

As suddenly as they came at him, Yuuri's tentacles begin to glow a beautiful, stunning purple. It's in their light that Victor sees Yuuri's eyes: no pupils, no irises. They are white, glowing, an emotionless abyss. And that, not the bindings on him, steal Victor's breath away.

"Yuuri?" he asks, somewhat afraid now. "Are you alright? Your– Your eyes..."

Yuuri doesn't answer him. Instead, his tentacles shift on Victor's body. Some are holding his arms, others his hips and a few loop around his tail. He's completely immobilized and even when he tries to buck against the tight hold, he gets no leeway.

"Yuuri? What is this?"

Before Victor's heart can stutter into full fright, a groan slips out of Yuuri's mouth. As suddenly as he grabbed him, Yuuri releases Victor and pushes himself deeper into the alcove, while Victor stays near the entrance.

"Get out of here," Yuuri gasps out forceful words that sound as if something in his throat does not allow him to speak properly. As if he had to battle with himself for every single one of them. "Go, Victor! Leave!"

Victor has never been good at doing what asked, so he only swims closer. "Are you alright, Yuuri? Are you in pain? You sound–"

"Victor!" Yuuri raises his voice. The purple light of his tentacles flashes and in it Victor sees his desperate, drawn in pain face. "Get out! You can't stay here!"

"But I've been here before. What's changed? Did I… did I do something wrong?"

Slowly this time, as if not to spook Yuuri, Victor approaches him. Yuuri has wound himself into a ball, clutching at his head and heart at the same time. He gasps and grimaces, and twitches when Victor gets close enough to see the brief moments when Yuuri's eyes once more become pure white slits filled with nothing but terrifying power.

"Yuuri? What's going on? Are you hurt?"

The sound Yuuri makes is a half sob, half laugh.

"Yes. I'm–"

He gasps and all his tentacles curl in on themselves madly as if in a sudden flash of pain.

"I'm hurt, Victor," Yuuri chokes out. "That's why you should go. Now."

"Let me help you then."

Victor quickly reaches him. He doesn't get to touch him, though. One of Yuuri's tentacles slashes through the water between them, a barrier meant not to be crossed. It hurts a bit to be so bluntly rejected, but Victor chooses to focus on Yuuri for the time being.

"Should I fetch something? A potion? Tell me what to do, Yuuri, and I'll gladly do it, but don't ask me to just leave you when you're clearly in pain."

Yuuri shakes his head. He moans. And all the while, his tentacles twitch and swish about, agitated in a way Victor has never seen them before. That, if possible, hurts even more than Yuuri's rejection.

"Yuuri, please," Victor begs. "Let me help."

"You can't help me," Yuuri answers, choked. "No one can! I'm cursed, Victor! And no one can break it. Not me. Not you. No one."

He gives a sharp cry then, bending in half from enormous pain. Victor can't see what's hurting him, can't find a way to help, and gods above and below, he never believed that watching someone you care for hurt could make his own heart bleed like this.

"A curse?" he repeats. "What are you–"

"A curse, Victor! A curse! I will soon turn into a monster, which I'm barely holding back now. _Leave!_ Now! You _must_ leave!"

"No!" Determined, Victor catches Yuuri's shoulders and forces him to look up into his eyes. "I will not leave you to suffer here alone. I don't understand this, but I will not leave you here like this."

"Why are you always so goddamn stubborn?!"

Yuuri pushes him away, but Victor closes the distance before he can even take a breath. Victor takes Yuuri in his arms and hugs him close. The tentacles swish around them, charged with so much power that the water around them sizzles with it.

"You stupid, stupid prince… _why won't you listen to me?_ "

The answer that comes to Victor is as easy as breathing. He has never told Yuuri this before, but now… now is the perfect moment to do so. It could be the last moment to do so, a dark part of his mind whispers, but Victor ignores it.

"Because I love you," he says, "and I want to share your pain."

Yuuri groans. His forehead falls against Victor's shoulder in utter resignation to pain and Victor's will. It is not the reply Victor has been hoping for, but Yuuri ceases struggling against him and simply allows himself to be held, which… is something.

"You can't stay here," Yuuri tells him again, weaker than before. As if… as if he's fading. Victor's heart stings at the thought. "It will consume me soon… You _must_ leave. It's too dangerous, Victor. Please."

"What will consume you? Yuuri, please, tell me what's going on."

"I… My curse. Once a receding tide comes, my body becomes a host to a demon," Yuuri explains in few words right before another pain attack catches him. He trembles and twitches in Victor's arms, and all Victor can do is simply hold him through it while his heart tears apart from his want and inability to help. "It will... It'll hurt you, Victor. It'll take you and play with your body, and then when it's done there will be nothing–"

He groans, slumping against Victor. Briefly, his tentacles glimmer purple again, vivid and bright, almost blinding in the darkness of the alcove

"It's getting stronger," Yuuri gasps. "You need to go. Now."

"What do you mean play, Yuuri? Is this… is this demon interested in mating?" Victor asks. Suddenly, an idea pops into his head. "Will it leave you be if it is satisfied?"

Yuuri almost pulls away from him in shock. "What are you–"

"I'll do it," Victor interrupts him. "I'll let it mate me. It will still be you, in a way. And if it helps you come to yourself sooner, then I'm more than happy to do this."

"I can't ask that of you!"

"You haven't, I offered." Victor takes Yuuri's face in his hands. "I have wanted to do this for a while now, Yuuri, so I may be guided by my own selfishness a bit here. I want you. In any way, shape or form. This thing, too… it's a part of you, isn't it?"

"It's a curse," Yuuri spits.

"And, like mine, a part of you that you must live with," Victor reminds him with a faint smile. Yuuri's eyes look into his own with such incredulity that Victor cannot help but lean their foreheads together. "Will you allow me to do this?"

Yuuri doesn't answer for a long while. So long, in fact, that Victor asks again: "I want you, Yuuri… don't you want me too?"

As if these words carried all of Victor's love and desire in one, Yuuri shudders under their weight. His eyes slip from Victor's, down to the lips that have spoken them. Gentle fingers touch Victor's bottom lip in a press as light as a kiss.

"Yes..." Yuuri hisses. "I do want you… How could I not?"

His fight seems to go out of him. He trembles even more violently than before and his tentacles begin to dance madly around them as they begin to glow a beautiful purple. The magic throbs around them, pulses through Yuuri's body, out of him into the ocean itself.

"Don't hate me..." Yuuri begs.

Victor's eyes meet his: that sweet brown gaze that now seems to be swallowed by the white brilliant power. To do this while Yuuri is still with him, Victor catches his retreating hand and lifts it to his lips, where he rests a kiss against Yuuri's knuckles.

"I could never hate you, Yuuri," he says. "Never. I love you."

And he smiles with all his love while the demon fully takes over Yuuri's body.

The change happens all at once. A thrum of power comes off Yuuri, so stifling that it is somewhat hard to breathe in the suddenly boilinghot waters. Yuuri's agitated tentacles relax at once, but glow even harder than before. And Yuuri himself… He straightens and lifts his chin up in such a haughty way that Victor cannot help but admire it.

It isn't Yuuri, but in a way… in a way it's still him, yes, and he's stunning.

The thought barely crosses Victor's mind, when tentacles shoot out towards him. He is grabbed like before, constrained by the shoulders, hips, and tail.

But now that he knows what's coming, he doesn't mind it.

In the purple light of the tentacles, of the magic that guides them, Yuuri's fins seem to shimmer. Victor has admired them for so long that he remembers their colour and shape well. It is not what he sees now. Or, it is, but it's also different. There, in the front where both of the fins come together – in his crotch, Victor thinks, already breathless – two more tentacles have grown from beneath the membrane. They wiggle, swollen and blue, and Victor instantly knows what they are.

Yuuri's cocks.

Victor trembles at the sight.

He imagined this, he won't pretend otherwise. But seeing the real thing instead of his vague imaginings is just… so much different. Better. Fuller. More vivid. More impressive.

Victor almost moans when Yuuri wraps one tentacle around his cocks and strokes.

"You want to mate?" Victor asks. "If you do… I'm more than happy to mate with you, demon. You possess the body of someone important to me, so I will offer myself to you for the peace of his mind. Will you accept?"

Yuuri's white, glowing eyes return to him for a moment. While Yuuri measures him with that unseeing gaze, another of his tentacles slides over Victor's tail… right towards where Victor's hole is. It rubs against it and comes away sticky with desire that Victor couldn't and didn't wish to suppress.

"Yes," Victor gives, arching his body inside the tentacles' tight embrace. "Yes, Yuuri, yes. Please..."

Yuuri does not need to be asked more. His tentacle sinks into Victor's hole. Victor has never felt anything like this. What little experience he's had has always been with a mer much like him. Chris and his shark mate, they both had cocks like Victor's. This is a sensation on a whole another level. The tentacle wiggles inside Victor as it fucks him and the glow that comes from it seems to light Victor's tail with a thousand sparkling lights. It's a beautiful sight, yes, but more than that – the pleasure! Oh, it's almost overwhelming!

Victor has wanted Yuuri for so long that now that it's happening, he feels like he is going to come within seconds.

And then he does.

Yuuri's tentacle seems to be only making sure he can take him, but in its vigorous exploration of Victor's mating hole, it rubs so deliciously against the rims that Victor's pleasure spikes right towards release.

He twitches when he comes and keeps on shuddering when Yuuri withdraws his tentacle. The witch licks at it as if to taste him and Victor, still shuddering in the aftermath, moans at the sight.

He moans again when Yuuri brings him closer and lines Victor in such a position that his cocks tease his sensitive entrance. Victor gasps and writhes inside his bonds to inch closer, but Yuuri's tentacles are strong. They tighten around him even more and the suckers eagerly begin to kiss Victor's flesh. He's going to have marks all around him, Victor he loves it. He wants Yuuri to mark him. He wants Yuuri to fuck him. Even if this isn't fully Yuuri, one day Victor knows it will be.

He arches towards the cocks that tease him, and Yuuri takes the clue. He brings Victor as close as possible and using his tentacles he begins to fuck Victor on one cock, the thicker one, while the other rubs over Victor's other hole… the one that hides his own cock. Victor moans out loud at the odd feeling of being stimulated in both places at once. He's never done anything like this. He's never felt anything like this. But now that he has, it feels… it feels… _good_.

His cock slides out of its sheath with little coaxing, as aroused as he is, and Yuuri's tentacle cock wastes no time in wrapping around it. Being fucked inside and outside, Victor is left with no other choice but to give into pleasure. He thinks this is as much as he can take, it's so much already, yet he underestimates Yuuri severely.

Because Yuuri is nowhere near done. More tentacles join on the fun. Their suckers brush against Victor's pert nipples, his chest, his sensitive sides and neck. Another tentacle comes to rest against Victor's lips, pushing and pressing until he opens his mouth and allows it in. It begins to fuck his mouth ata pace opposite of how Yuuri's cock fucks his hole – a maddening exchange that makes Victor's mind spin with pleasure.

His own body seems to glow from the attention Yuuri lavishes on him. Victor comes again like this, fucked and used, and so fulfilled and happy that tears escape from his eyes. Truly, in that moment of the highest pleasure, Victor thinks he himself is made of light. His veins thrum with pure ecstasy and his heart and soul feel so free, he is certain he could fly if he wasn't so deep underwater.

Yuuri keeps fucking him, keeps pushing Victor onto his cock for such a long time that Victor feels himself getting wound up again. He's tired at this point, but his body responds eagerly to Yuuri's ministrations as if it could feel Victor's desperate need to make him happy.

It's impossible, Victor thinks, when he first feels it. And yet… Yuuri's cock _swells_ within him. It grows thicker, harder, bigger. Victor writhes against the tentacles that hold him, but it is not from pain. White hot pleasure bursts behind his eyelids as Yuuri's cock begins to pulse inside him.

And then the first egg slides out of it, right into Victor's warm, wet hole.

Victor moans as the weight of it settles inside him, and moans again when others follow. By the fourth egg, he feels so full that he thinks they will all slip out of him. Still, Yuuri puts in another. And another. And ano–

Victor comes so violently at the feeling of fullness that he arches his spine in a way that almost hurts. One of the eggs slips out of him when his muscles spasm and his cock shoots out whiteslick into the glowing waters. Unbothered by it all, Yuuri carefully scoops the egg with a tentacle and inserts it back into Victor, while Victorgasps and moans in pleasure.

Only one more egg comes before the cock withdraws from him. As full as he is, Victor barely takes notice. He's exhausted and still shivering in aftershocks, but he is not tired enough to miss how both cocks sink behind the veil of Yuuri's fins.

He gasps when Yuuri's tentacle slips out of his mouth, too. It travels all the way down to Victor's hole, where it begins to rub at the slit, which has not yet fully closed over all the eggs stuffed inside him. They peek out, white and beautiful, and Victor's heart stutters at the sight. Then, it throbs at the feeling that makes his body grow hot once more as Yuuri continues to stroke the rims of his hole.

"N-no, stooop," Victor moans, weak to pleasure. "I'll spill them… Yuu– Ah–"

An egg pushes halfway out, but Yuuri's tentacle slides it right back in. It keeps caressing Victor's rim and pushing back the eggs that threaten to slip out until Victor is all flushed and bothered once more. Never before has he come so much in one night, never before has his body been tested like this.

But then, never before has he fucked a witch. A god. A cecaelia. A demon. _Yuuri._

And now that he has, he doesn't think he could stand being with anyone else.

He comes again from that gentle teasing. It's a weak release compared to the others, yet Victor feels every pulse of his muscles around the precious eggs that Yuuri put inside him. He groans at the fullness he feels in his hips, at the pleasure of having the eggs inside him, helpless to resist it.

Yuuri's tentacles loosen around him afterwards. As if he was now convinced that Victor will keep his eggs safe, Yuuri allows Victor his freedom again. The glow of his tentacles begins to dim, but in their last light, Victor sees Yuuri lie down on the cave floor. He closes his eyes, and even that glow disappears as if the final trails of the demon's magic have left him.

Mindful not to let any of the eggs slip, Victor lies next to Yuuri. His hand searches for a moment blindly, until he finds Yuuri's own. Holding it, Victor rests his other against his hole. He strokes the closed rims once with a finger. One day, one day he's going to carry Yuuri's eggs again. And that day will be the best day of his life, Victor is sure of it.

He cannot help a smile as he closes his eyes, too tired to keep awake any longer. Like that, exhausted, but at Yuuri's side, he falls asleep, his mission accomplished and a batch of Yuuri's precious eggs safely guarded inside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are heating up, my friends ;3c   
> hang on to your seats, we aren't done angsting yet ;3c ;3c ;3c


	8. CHAPTER 7

Victor wakes up to an insistent prodding of a cold tentacle against his shoulder. He mumbles something incoherent and intends to turn to the other side, but his back finds only cold rock beneath him. It's that that wakes him up.

Yuuri's frightened face lit by the light of the orb Yuuri must have spelled into being snaps him into attention faster than the cold.

"What's wrong?"

"You..." Yuuri starts, but seems to choke on something. It takes Victor a moment to realize it's his own terror. "You… I thought you were _dead!_ You were so still and, and– those marks! And are these…?"

Victor follows Yuuri's line of vision downwards, where all eight eggs have slipped out of his hole during the night. They are pearl-white, so, so beautiful in the glow of the magical orb, and now… ruined.

"I'm sorry," Victor says, while guilt stabs him in the heart. "I wanted to keep them in, but when my muscles relaxed they must have–"

Yuuri makes another choking sound, then pushes away from Victor.

"No, no, no, this is a disaster," he mumbles to himself, swimming in circles around the small dark space they're in.

"I promise I will try harder next time, Yuuri," Victor tries again. He pleads for another chance with his eyes. "Don't be too upset with me, please. I'll do better. I promise."

Yuuri makes a sound of frustration. He runs both hands through his hair and curls in on himself while his tentacles wrap around him as if to protect him.

"This is not about you, Victor. It's me… I– _I did this._ To you." Yuuri takes a breath that sounds like a sob. "I'm the worst. You trusted me and I–"

"What? I don't know what you mean, Yuuri, but I thoroughly enjoyed it," Victor tells him, a bit confused, but willing to explain his feelings, since Yuuri clearly must need the verbal confirmation once more. "Didn't I tell you before that I wanted it? It was quite challenging, especially keeping all the eggs inside, I felt like I was going to burst," Yuuri makes a keening sound os embarrassment and his tentacles glow a bright yellow for a brief flash, "But I had a lot of fun, too, Yuuri. Please, know that I enjoyed it. There is not a single thing I hold against you after this night."

He gathers himself off the floor and swims up to Yuuri, who doesn't unwind himself from his self-inflicted prison even when he gets close. Victor begins to softly stroke Yuuri's tentacles as he speaks:

"What is this about, Yuuri? Are you having second thoughts? I promise I will not be upset no matter what you wish to tell me. Let's talk, shall we?"

Yuuri doesn't show his face, but his tension gives some way.

"I– What we did– What I did– It shouldn't have happened."

For a brief second, Victor's hand stills on Yuuri's tentacles and that cursed tension returns. This time, Victor feels it in his own body as well.

"You said yes before, but did I… did I misunderstand?" he asks, quietly, afraid of the answer.

"No! I mean, that's not– that's not it," Yuuri says in a voice so pained, so conflicted that Victor aches for him as well. "I meant what I said, but… What were you even doing down here? I thought I was alone. I thought it was safe..."

"I wanted to take you back to bed," Victor confesses. "I hoped that sleeping close by will help us be more comfortable with each other. You surprised me when you told me of the demon. I am glad you did, though."

"You're… glad?"

Despite being unable to see his expression, Yuuri's disbelief is clear. Victor gives into the smile that pushes onto his lips at the mere memory of the mating. It might not have been truly Yuuri, it might have been a demon taking over his body, but it was still Yuuri: his demon, his body, his tentacles and his eggs. There are things in life Victor regrets dearly, but this? No, it is not one of them.

"I enjoyed it so much, Yuuri," Victor admits. "So, _so_ much. I haven't been fucked this good in my entire life."

Yuuri's tentacles twitch as he bundles himself into an even tighter ball in embarrassment that glows yellow over his tentacles. Victor chuckles. He wraps his arms around the balled up witch and rubs his cheek against where Yuuri's shoulder is hidden away. The tentacles' suckers cling to his skin, soft and sweet – a sensation unlike the pressure of those that marked him in the night.

"It was amazing," Victor tells him. "I'm so happy, Yuuri. It was all I was hoping for and so much more. The only thing that could've made it better would be you being there with me. But my feelings aside, please tell me what has you so distressed. I wish to help, if I can."

"You… you weren't scared?" Yuuri asks.

"Of what?"

The answer, when it comes, is so hushed that Victor barely hears it: " _Me_."

"You? Why would I be scared of you?" Victor asks, surprised.

He remembers the flicker of fear mixed with surprise at the very beginning when Yuuri captured him, but what happened after that more than made up for it. There was only pleasure, only magic there. His heart did not have time to feel fear.

"I admit I was surprised at first. And I wish you would've told me before that you bore a curse as well. We could've bonded over it!" Victor allows himself to pout briefly, right before he smiles. "But I loved it, Yuuri. Every second of it. And I'd do it again, even now, if you want to experience it for yourself. It's the truth, I promise."

Yuuri doesn't reply, but very slowly his tentacles unravel from around him. He looks Victor in the eye then, considers him closely, and Victor dearly hopes that whatever he finds in his gaze makes him certain that Victor speaks the truth.

"You really liked it…?"

"I did," Victor assures him again, smiling. "I loved it. Especially the eggs. It's such a shame that I couldn't keep them in longer… Say, how long does one have to stay inside to hatch? Would you like to start a pod with me?"

Yuuri blushes a deep shade of blue at Victor's words. His tentacles twitch, as if to hide him again, but Victor asks his next question before Yuuri can escape him. There will come time for those questions to be answered. Now, there are more important things.

"Yuuri, can I… Can I ask you something else?"

Victor hesitates. And it's that that makes Yuuri lift his eyes to him at last. Slowly, hesitatingly, Yuuri nods.

"Why did this scare you so much? I… Maybe I missed something, but the demon didn't seem all that frightening to me. How come you tried so hard to make me leave?"

Yuuri bites his lip and looks away from him again. He closes his eyes, as if what he's going to say was best said into nothingness.

"Maybe it liked you. You… you are the first one that I ever allowed close to me during one of those nights. The first one that I willingly said yes to. I didn't fight it as much as I fought for others, so maybe it simply decided to enjoy itself for once. You were right, maybe it needs to be appeased, so that it leaves without killing me or anyone else..."

Gathering his courage, Victor reaches to take Yuuri's hand. And breathes with a bit more ease when Yuuri allows it. Victor squeezes it once, as if to tell Yuuri that whatever he might have been through is not what happened now. The past is the past. Together, now, they have a chance to finally fix everything, so that their future holds less pain than that.

"Your curse..." Victor wonders. "Who would put something so vile on you? You're such a sweet person!"

Yuuri smiles wryly. "And you aren't? It matters little whom they hurt when the evil are on the path of revenge."

Victor only looks at Yuuri in confusion, so with a deep sigh Yuuri finally tells him the story.

"One of my ancestors trapped Chihoko, the demon god, into an eternal prison. It is still confined, but before its magic was sealed away, it laid a curse on my entire family line. For as long as magic flows in our veins, on the nights of receding tides a conduit between Chihoko and a witch in our line will be established and it will possess the body until it is satisfied."

The idea is somewhat disturbing, but… Victor can't help feeling that after last night there is little cause to fear the demon.

"Isn't it harmless then? If all it does is fuck me, then it is something we can easily deal with," Victor says.

"We can't risk it." Yuuri shakes his head. "This time it just wanted to– to mate. There were incidents before, Victor. Terrible, horrible things. Some witches even killed themselves after a night of this torture."

"But not you?" Victor asks, hopeful, begging Yuuri to never consider it.

"No, not me," Yuuri agrees. He rests a hand on their joined ones. "But I do not want to risk anything happening to you. What if it wants to tear you apart limb by limb? What if it wants to rip you in two? What if it wants to eat your intestines? What if it wants to gauge your eyes, remove your tongue or slip a tentacle through your ears? I..." Yuuri shudders and this time so does Victor. The pictures painted before him… they are not equal to the night of pleasure his body remembers. "I can't spend every day worrying about what might happen, Victor. Please, try to understand."

"Very well. I will stay away from you on those nights," Victor agrees. He brings Yuuri's hand to his lips and rests a tiny kiss on the back of it, where Yuuri's spotted skin is softest. Then, he lays down his argument: "But only if you stay with me for the rest of them. If I… Yuuri, if I am to choose you over breaking my curse, then I want you to also choose me over yours."

Yuuri gives him a small nod, leaning towards him. Their foreheads touch, a soft gesture that aches as sweetly as it warms.

"You really want to stay? Even knowing what kind of a monster I turn into?" Yuuri asks. "Knowing that you might die if you stay?"

"Yes," Victor simply says. "I want it. Because I want you. And I have given you my word, my commitment and my heart. There is no place I'd rather be, my Yuuri. I promise you."

And that seems to be enough.

***

After all they'd done, after he saw Victor with marks all over his body and his own eggs slickened by Victor's body fluids, after he's agreed to mate with Victor, Yuuri is still the same easily embarrassed mer he was before. Whenever Victor mentions anything even remotely intimate, he blushes a brilliant blue. For long days that come after that night, Victor is torn between adoration and slight disappointment at not being able to enjoy their nights together in more ways than one.

As it is, however, he is happy enough. Yuuri has chosen to give into his pleas and comes to bed at reasonable hours, where he allows himself to be wrapped in Victor's arms. He sleeps next to him until he can sleep no more and then tentacle by tentacle he extracts himself from Victor's embrace, careful not to wake him. It's sweet, even if not exactly what Victor wanted, but it's a beginning he will not complain about.

At least that, Victor thinks, brings them close. At least it helps him fill that void inside him that craves contact with another being. At least that gives him the warmth that his warm-blooded body needs to survive.

Often, lying in what becomes _their_ bed, Victor thinks of that night. Of Yuuri's glowing tentacles, their touch, the feeling of it on his tongue and inside him, and Yuuri's cocks and eggs and–

At times, while Yuuri sleeps, Victor rubs his own fingers into his hole and gives in to the pleasure that thoughts of Yuuri always bring him. He cannot stop himself from doing it, either. The madness of lust overtakes him, as if the demon planted a seed of it inside him that night. Victor is powerless to resist it. And the longer Yuuri says no – which Victor respects, of course, wholeheartedly – the more irresistible the urge to pleasure himself to the thoughts of him becomes.

Victor doesn't get caught, but the idea of it thrills him enough to keep doing it right next to a peacefully sleeping Yuuri again and again.

And for a while, all is good. All, in fact, would be perfect – their little happy life and their not-so-terrible now curses – except for one thing. That one thing that still sits at the back of Victor's mind every time he and Yuuri gaze at each other as they fall asleep. That one thing that Victor still feels ache inside his heart whenever their hands brush or Yuuri's tentacles tenderly swipe Victor's hair away from his face.

They haven't kissed even once yet.

Obviously, to Victor and his curse, it is quite a problem. He doesn't want to rush Yuuri, not in any way. But… he wants it. He wants to kiss him. Forget the curse and what it could mean for him, Victor simply wants to kiss the mer he loves. Is that so much to ask? Is that something he should not want, only because he is cursed? And what of it, if Yuuri is not the one to break it? Victor loves him. And he really, really wants to kiss him.

He could not have said the same about all the others he had once hoped to be his saviours.

Yuuri, after all, is special. He is the only one who makes Victor feel excited for every new day. He's the one who gives Victor purpose, which he lost along with his will to carry on living like this. He's the one who breathed new life into Victor, who showed him that being cursed did not mean he had to live without love.

And Victor really, really badly wants to whisper all that against Yuuri's lips. To taste him, to feel him, to bring them even closer together...

As long as Yuuri doesn't want it, he can only yearn for it and make Yuuri fall as madly in love with Victor as Victor has fallen for him. Thus far, Victor thinks he is doing rather well. Even if Yuuri insists on searching for ways to break Victor's curse that do not involve true love's kiss. All his potions fail, and even the spells he chants over Victor and all the runes and symbols he draws on his body with patient fingers do nothing to solve the problem.

They're moments that Victor cherishes for a different reason: Yuuri's sweet singing voice, his focus, the touch of his hands on his skin. The blush that continues to rise onto Yuuri's cheeks whenever they're close enough to count each other's eyelashes. For all that Yuuri tries to resist him, Victor can see that he, too, feels the need to be close to him. He tries hard not to act on them, but the spark is there. All it needs is a little bit more love blown on it to turn into a roaring flame.

Victor does not remain complacent in his efforts to light the fire of love in Yuuri's heart, however. During the hours he spends helping Yuuri brew potions, he makes sure to stand extra close, to let Yuuri feel the warm blood that runs through Victor's body. He takes every moment to brush their fins together, to touch Yuuri's hand, to trail his fingers up Yuuri's tentacles, over the tender skin of his back.

Yuuri shudders in most delicious ways at the barest of touches, and yet he still refuses to rest his lips against Victor's when their faces are only inches apart.

When they say goodnight, resting side by side in the not-too-big bed, and Yuuri's tentacle slides down Victor's face, it takes all he has in him not to lean in close to kiss Yuuri. He holds back then, and only touches Yuuri's lips with his fingers, so full of longing that he almost thinks he sees it in Yuuri's eyes, too. But it can't be, because then Yuuri turns his back on him and falls asleep as if he was not touched by the same emotion as Victor is.

In an effort to be romantic, one day Victor begs Yuuri to leave work for a moment and come with him to sit atop their cave. He prepared some meat, a salad of weeds and a sprinkling of a potion that Yuuri keeps in the pantry for seasoning. With a meal, he's hoping to reach Yuuri's heart as well as his stomach. But even then, he fails. Yuuri cleans off his portion, licks his fingers and lips, and sighs with so much happiness that Victor grins, pleased with himself. Pleasing Yuuri in a way has become an extension of pleasing himself, and Victor is only too happy to make the mer he loves as happy as he himself feels.

As they sit up there, watching the mesmerizing shifting of waters and colours, the mood is perfect. Too perfect.

Their gazes lock. Barely a moment later, Victor's eyes slide down to Yuuri's lips. And there, he spots the tiny smudge of blood right in the corner of Yuuri's mouth. He wipes it away with his thumb, then licks it clean, which has Yuuri blush the sweetest blue. He doesn't look away from Victor, enchanted, yet as Victor leans in to finally seal their lips together, Yuuri breaks away. He stammers something about work to be finished and escapes into the cave without a second glance.

It stings a little, but Victor tries to move on. He tries again and again… and tries more… and...

"Yuuri, can I ask you something?" he asks one night as they lie together, gazing each other in the eyes while the stars of Yuuri's power shine down upon them from the alcove roof.

Yuuri's smile is so tender that Victor's heart hurts from looking at it and being unable to get closer. To do what he so desperately wants, and what he knows Yuuri wants, too.

"What is it?"

"I–" Victor pauses to allow himself a full breath before he says it. "I know you said you don't want to try for true love's kiss, but… I really want to kiss you. And not just to break my curse. I want to–"

"I know."

Yuuri's whisper breaks through Victor's fervent thoughts. His face is serious now, but something burns in his eyes, something that calls to Victor.

"Don't you think I want to?" Yuuri asks, voice strained. "I do, Victor. Gods of the sea, I do want to kiss you. But… I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Can't you guess?" Yuuri's lips twist in an ironic smile. "I'm scared of what will happen if I do. What if I'm not your true love? But what if I am? There is no option that doesn't have me worried, Victor. How can I kiss you when I'm so afraid of what might come after? It's the one step that I desperately want to take and can't force myself to at the same time."

"Then will you spend your entire life without ever kissing me? Not once?" Victor asks, somewhat hurt by the idea.

"Please, don't be upset with me," Yuuri begs.

"How can I not be upset, Yuuri? I love you and I want to share my life with you, but just because of my curse you refuse to acknowledge that. What else can I do other than be upset?"

Victor sits up, too restless to stay down. When Yuuri's hand settles on Victor's elbow, he almost pushes him away. Almost.

"I'm sorry," Yuuri says. "Because of my fears, you're suffering. I– You already did so much for me. And you even helped me with my curse. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. You're… You deserve better than this, Victor."

"I deserve what I get, Yuuri," Victor replies, shaking his head. He clenches his hands in fists, then forces himself to take a deep breath and release all that tension. "Clearly, you do not think of me as the partner you wish to spend the rest of your life with and, if that's it, then I really have no one else but myself to blame for falling in love with you."

"Victor, no. I– I love you, too."

These words… Victor hears them for the first time from Yuuri. They shouldn't matter now, they are only meant as a way to soothe him. And yet, Victor cannot help but look at Yuuri with all that foolish hope etched in the lines of his face.

"And that makes me even more scared," Yuuri admits, dropping his gaze down. "Don't you see? If this works and my love changes you back into a human, then you will leave. You'll have to. And then that love will be what makes me lose you. But if it doesn't work, then that means we were never meant to be. That there's someone else out there for you, who will make you far happier than I ever could. And you will have to leave then, too, because I will not allow myself to be the cause of you wondering for the rest of your life what would've been if only you left. So you'll leave. Either way, you'll leave me, Victor. And I'm so scared of that, because I already love you so much that the very thought of it hurts."

"And what, my thoughts on that don't matter?" Victor snaps. Yuuri is opening his heart to him and he wants to reply with the same, but hearing that Yuuri gives him no choice in this at all only serves to make Victor angry. "I keep telling you, Yuuri, I don't care about my curse. I love you and I want to stay with you, whether this works or not. _I will stay_. Why do you doubt my words so much?"

"I–"

Yuuri pauses. And then he doesn't say anything. As if he can't say a thing, as if he himself doesn't know why. Victor wants to be angry about this, too, and can't. He gives a deep sigh, runs a hand through his hair and closes his eyes.

"What should we do about this, then?"

Yuuri suddenly sits up as well. Victor startles at how quick he is and almost flinches when Yuuri grabs him by the shoulders.

"A divination!" Yuuri tells him, oddly passionate. "Oh, I can't believe I forgot it!"

He lets go of Victor and quickly rises, already disappearing behind the curtain before Victor even knows what's happening. Only once he blinks through the shock, does Victor follow. He hears Yuuri rummaging through his stores and bottles before he even descends into the work room.

"What is this about?" he asks, still confused.

"Bones, bones..." Yuuri murmurs, picking through the bottles.

"What bones? There is a bottle on the shelf on your left and another three on the third highest," Victor supplies. Even knowing where they are doesn't make him as happy as it usually does. He feels oddly numb after their conversation. Lost. A bit like he has when he stopped trying to find his true love on land.

Yuuri swims left and then high up to check the bottles. Then, he brings one down. From inside he shakes out five bones of different shapes, but similar sizes.

"I should've done this before," he says. He takes the bones in his hands, closes them around them and breathes magic onto them. "I will now divine whether or not we should give this a try."

"But… how will that… How does it work?" Victor asks, confused. "How will you know what the answer is?"

"It's magic, Victor." Yuuri turns his eyes to him. Within them, power already begins to gather. "Believe in it."

Victor can only nod. Yuuri's tentacles shimmer into colour of springtime leaves. He shakes his hands for a moment, and then drops the bones onto the table. They scatter like pebbles on the bottom of the ocean floor. There is no order to them in Victor's eyes, but there must be some kind of magic in them that Yuuri can see, for he makes a soft sound that almost sounds like a moan.

His tentacles dim.

"And?" Victor asks, somewhat anxious, even if he doesn't understand this. "What did you ask? What is the answer?"

"I," Yuuri swallows, "I asked if I should kiss you."

"And?" Victor repeats. His heart thunders inside his chest. It's so strong that it's strange that the waters in front of Victor's chest do not pick up on the vibrations. "Yuuri, tell me, please. I can't stand this any–"

"Yes," Yuuri says. He turns to Victor, eyes wide and lovely. "The bones say yes."

Ever since he was two years old, Victor knew how to breathe underwater. In that one moment, he might as well have forgotten. Breathless, he stares at Yuuri, unable to believe what he's heard.

"And… will you?" he asks.

He must know. He must hear this from Yuuri's own lips. The confirmation of what his heart yearns most for.

" _Yes_."

Victor doesn't know which of them moves first. All he knows is that one second they are gazing at each other with all the longing they have had to stifle, and the next they are rushing to meet, and then, then–

They pause with their arms around them and faces so close they can touch noses.

"Should I…?" Victor asks, tongue numb.

"I don't– I don't know. I've never–"

"You've never…?"

Yuuri shakes his head with a blush. It sits high on his cheeks, a beautiful blue that compliments the shimmer that begins on the dark skin of his tentacles.

"Then I will teach you," Victor promises, cupping Yuuri's cheek. "I will teach you everything."

"Just..." Yuuri lifts his gaze up to Victor's eyes. "Just take it slowly, please?"

"Of course. Whatever you wish, love."

And then, at long last, Victor leans in. He rubs their noses together for the briefest of touches, before he bows his neck further and joins their lips together.

Light envelops them, brilliant and blue, but Victor cares not for it. Yuuri shudders against him as he presses himself harder into Victor's arms. His tentacles reach for him and clutch whenever they can: at Victor's shoulders, hips, tail. He doesn't mind it one bit. He simply pulls Yuuri closer and gently, slowly, so as not to overwhelm him, swipes his tongue on Yuuri's lips, which part for him on a delicious gasp.

But Victor cannot deepen the kiss. Suddenly, his throat tightens and his eyes sting, and he must pull back, because a sob threatens to escape him.

"Victor?" Yuuri asks, dazed, yet undeniably worried. "What is–"

"It's nothing," Victor tells him, voice thick. "I'm sorry. I just– I wanted this for so long. I just got a little emotional about it, that is it. I promise."

He smiles at Yuuri, stroking his cheek with his thumb. And then he kisses him again, and again, and still some more – short, sweet kisses in quick succession. They make Yuuri gasp and then, giggle. And it is the most precious, most beloved sound in the entire world, Victor has no doubt about it.

He is grinning as well when he pulls back at last. Yuuri's cheeks are flushed, his tentacles happily glowing, and Victor has never loved anyone more than he does this mer in that moment.

But then, the glow stops.

"You're still a mer," Yuuri notices.

Like that, all traces of happiness escape through Victor's fingers.

"It doesn't matter," he tries to tell Yuuri. His heart does not care. "I didn't kiss you for that. I kissed you, because I love you. And I will still kiss you till my last day."

Yuuri shakes his head. "No, no, I don't– I don't understand. Why did…? But the bones…! It was a clear yes, Victor. It was, I swear. I didn't misread it, I couldn't have. Then why aren't you–"

"Yuuri!" Victor catches Yuuri's hand and pulls him back in. " _It doesn't matter._ It's alright, my love. It really is. I am happy to be a mer for the rest of my life if it means being with you. And..." He smiles with all the happiness in his heart. "I really enjoyed our first kiss. Haven't you?"

"I– yes," Yuuri admits guiltily. "Yes, I did, but..."

"But nothing, love," Victor tells him. He steals another kiss from Yuuri's lips and smiles wider. "I'm happy. Here, with you, like this. I don't want to change a thing."

"But your curse..."

Victor shakes his head. "Wanting to break it brought me to you. That's all I ever needed it for. Now that I am here, with you in my arms, I have no more need to break it. I have all I could ever want."

Into the smile he gives Yuuri, Victor puts all his love, all his happiness, all the joy he's experienced since they met. And, slowly, Yuuri's shoulders relax.

"Are you sure? Absolutely certain you do not want to keep looking for a way to break the curse?"

Victor strokes Yuuri's cheek, then slides his thumb to Yuuri's chin. He pulls it up those precious few inches and smiles again.

"For the first time since I learned the truth about it, I'm sure. I don't need to break it anymore. I'm happy to be cursed, if it means spending my life with you. That is what I want to cherish most."

And before Yuuri can find another thing to doubt, Victor kisses him again – because he can, and because doing it for the rest of his life will not be nearly enough. Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and finally WE HAVE A KISS YALL  
> I'm sure it's not what you expected, but all I can say is this is just the beginning of the drama ;3c   
> buckle up, we're gonna go hard from now on ;3c ;3c ;3c


	9. CHAPTER 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for: oviposition and ANGST

Weeks of pure bliss follow after that night. Whatever has been holding Yuuri back before, now seems to has disappeared without a trace. It's only now that Yuuri is truly himself, truly able to give Victor what he wants – Yuuri, all of him, completely – and it's only now that Victor notices exactly how much Yuuri has been holding himself back. It used to be Victor, who touched Yuuri first. It used to be Victor, who smiled at Yuuri first. It used to be Victor, who kissed Yuuri first.

But no more.

The smiles that Yuuri gave him before made Victor's heart flutter, now they instantly kill him with love. The teasing brushes of tentacles that made Victor flush, now send him careening right into Yuuri's open, welcoming arms. And the kisses… the first ones, so tender, so uncertain had their own charm, they did, yet now Yuuri kisses him with a passion that leaves Victor breathless and aching for more long after. And more, Yuuri gives him.

At long last truly together, they settle into a routine that Victor would've never thought he'd love: they wake up next to each other, spend the day working on potions, eat in amicable silence broken only by softly spoken nothings, and then go to bed again, only to repeat the same thing the next day. It could be boring to some, but to Victor whose life has been anything but, this kind of calm everyday life is something special. It's something to cherish. The normalcy of it, the calm and quiet… it gives Victor's heart a much needed, much welcomed peace.

Even more so, when he spends every second of every day with the mer he loves more than life on land, more than his fractured family, more than his human body, his legs, his kingdom. To be here, with Yuuri, Victor would give it all up over and over again. And, by staying, he does. Without a silver of regret, he chooses Yuuri and, he knows, he will choose Yuuri every single day hereafter.

Gone is also Victor's hesitation. He no longer holds himself back from doing something he wishes to, especially if it concerns Yuuri. As if the kiss broke the invisible chains that kept him confined, Victor now is also a free mer: free to love, free to live, free to do whatever he pleases. So he doesn't feel bad when he stops by Yuuri to give his cheek a peck. He does not feel bad when he kisses Yuuri's bloody lips after they eat. He feels not a smidge of guilt when right before sleep, he presses himself to Yuuri and kisses him sweetly until their eyes become glazed and mouths swell with the tender attention.

He's happy. For once, since he learned the truth about his cursed existence, he's truly happy.

Like this, living his best life, Victor knows it could be years before anything changes in his feelings. Before anything happens to ruin it. Before he wants more. If that time comes at all, which – as he's looking at Yuuri's sleeping face, calm, content, soft – he knows it might not. Wanting more would mean he is not content with what he has, but he is. Like this, here, now, he's the happiest he's ever been and the happiest he can imagine himself being. He wants nothing more than for this to last.

Why worry about something he cannot change? Why give into thoughts that will turn this happiness into something Victor cannot recognize any more?

So, instead of fretting about a future that may or may not come, he chooses to live in the moment: in Yuuri's sweet smiles, kisses and arms. And, truly, it is not difficult to forget that outside them, outside this cave there is a whole world that does not yet know of their love.

"I never imagined that one day my life would look like this," he confesses to Yuuri one night as they lie together in bed, staring at the stars on the cave roof.

Victor's cheek is resting on Yuuri's shoulder and Yuuri's tentacle keeps stroking Victor's hair, soothing and soft. In such bliss, Victor could tell Yuuri anything, he's sure. The deepest, most heartbreaking secrets he's ever kept. And the dreams he's never had the courage to voice out loud.

"What did you want it to be?" Yuuri asks.

"I'm not sure," Victor admits as his eyes fall closed to reconnect with a part of him that he's left behind and did not particularly want to come back to. For Yuuri though, he will. "I dreamed of being human, because that's what my parents wanted for me. I dreamed of breaking the curse, because that's what I thought I needed to be accepted by them. By the whole lot of them: my parents, other royalty, the people of my kingdom and all the rest of humans. I always strove towards what they wanted me to be, so I never… I never really thought about what I wanted, you know? I was going to be what I was supposed to be, nothing else." Victor smiles a sad little smile. "Being a prince… it comes with certain expectations."

"Like what?" Yuuri turns to the side to look at Victor instead of the stars, and under his gaze Victor feels a tender warmth spread over his heart. "What does it mean to be a prince?"

"It means you'll be king one day," he replies so quietly it almost becomes a whisper.

Victor sighs and turns his head to Yuuri as well. His hair slips into his eyes and Yuuri, smiling sweetly, tucks it behind his ear with a tentacle. Victor smiles back at him, even if he doesn't truly feel like smiling. Somehow, just looking at Yuuri makes the burden of his station feel less awful than it has been his entire life.

"My father needed an heir, someone to rule the kingdom once he is dead. It did not have to be me, but my mother succeeded at last in giving him what he wanted most. So, even before I was born, I was already bearing their expectations. Even if I did not know it yet, or what all it entails," Victor explains. "To be a prince means… it means that your life is not your own. It never has been. From the moment a prince is conceived, he's living only for the good of his parents, the kingdom and its peoples. Then, when his father dies, he becomes king and rules the land until he, too, dies, leaving his rule to his son. And during all that life, he belongs to everyone, but never himself."

Yuuri wraps his arms and tentacles around Victor, as if he could tell what sits in Victor's heart. "It sounds lonely."

"It is."

Victor closes his eyes briefly and simply rests in the arms of the first thing he's done for himself since he was born. The first thing he's wanted to do for himself. His first choice. His life, really. His love. The only person, the only being who never ever expected anything from him, but to be who he is.

He's smiling even before he opens his eyes. "There is one thing I am grateful for in my life as a prince."

"What is that?"

Their eyes meet, sweetness against warmth, and Victor admits: "The curse which brought me to you."

Helpless for words, Yuuri simply leans in and seals their lips together. Complaint is furthest thing from Victor's mind in that moment. He allows himself to be kissed, be loved, be cherished, and the truth of his words settles deep in his very soul, giving him courage, joy and peace.

He has not lied when he said it. Over time, as Yuuri has grown into the affection that Victor so dearly wished to bestow upon him and Victor has learned to stop pretending to be someone he isn't, he has realized that the weight which rested on his shoulders for as long as he can remember simply disappeared. And no, it was not just Yuuri's magical influence. It was more than that. It was the pure, simple feeling of being unburdened – of being glad for the circumstances that have brought him to where he is. Of being content in his place, of wanting nothing more than what he has been given.

Because, yes, he has been in so much pain, he has been so lonely, but for all that to lead him to Yuuri… He cannot put the blame on the curse any more. In a way, all his suffering has brought him to what he desired most in life – a loving partner who would see him, not the title, crown or his odd body.

And yet, the more time passes, the more Victor begins to notice a subtle change. Not in himself, not in his feelings, no. In Yuuri. As if he was regressing back to his former self, the stunning glow of freedom that has been so potent in Yuuri's smiles and kisses dims. He has been so happy, so playful and full of joy that at first Victor didn't think twice about there being less of it at times. His own feelings must have clouded his vision, too. He was simply too happy to want to notice it. But then one day… one day right after he kisses Yuuri, there is that peculiar, strange expression on the witch's face. And that, that makes Victor pause.

"What's wrong?" he asks, unable to tell what could've happened to put such a pained look in his Yuuri's eyes. It's so out of place, so different from the smitten gaze he is used to receiving after a kiss.

Yuuri only shakes his head and kisses Victor again, but his heart is not in it. "It's nothing. Bring me squid ink, please."

That seems to be the end of it, except Victor finds no peace in brushing it off this time. What he has seen once is hard to unsee, and from that day on, he seems to catch more of those strange, pained moments Yuuri tries to hide from him.

Whenever they rest in bed together, gazing deeply into each other's eyes and Yuuri's mist with unshed tears – he says it's nothing and turns his back to Victor, yet he does not refuse to be held close. Whenever they brew together and their hands brush, which Victor always uses as an excuse to bring Yuuri's fingers to his lips, Yuuri's smile strains at the corners – he quickly returns back to work, claiming that the potion which requires over 20 hours of simmering needs his immediate attention. Whenever they kiss, whenever Victor's body heats up with a need for more, and he feels Yuuri's own answer that call, Yuuri pulls away as if he could no longer stand to touch him – and then he drops a single kiss more to Victor's swollen lips, to ease his worries… or to ease his own conscience.

There is no cause to those sudden mood shifts, none that Victor can see, which only confuses him further. It seems that whenever they're happy, whenever everything goes just as it should be, something about it stirs unrest in Yuuri's heart. And that, in turn, stirs unrest in Victor's.

It bothers him. It bothers him a lot. Yet whenever he tries to ask about it, Yuuri distracts him with something else, as if he did not want Victor to ask. As if he wasn't ready to share what is bothering him. That, at least, Victor can respect. But respecting the boundaries is another thing entirely from worrying about something that he cannot see or understand. And, oh, Victor worries...

The summer is nearing to a close. The waters are already growing colder by the day, which means...a time when Victor usually leaves the underwater kingdom and returns to land comes near. This time, however, he cannot do as he's always done. He made a promise to Yuuri, he made a vow to his own heart, and he intends to keep both.

Every day, he wakes up wrapped in Yuuri's tentacles and he pushes away the moment he'll have to inevitably swim back to the surface to at least warn his parents that he will be spending the next season in the sea. And the one after that and, truly, the rest of his life. They will not be happy, he knows, but the time when he still strove for their approval has long since passed. The way he is now, Victor is resolved to live his life how he wants, where he wants and with whom he wants – and all that is here, in this cave, with Yuuri.

"You're… you're what?" Yuuri asks, oddly breathless, when Victor finally gathers the courage to do what needs to be done and tell him of his plans.

"I have to let my parents know," Victor explains, his heart heavy. "They will worry if they hear nothing from me. For all the awful feelings between us, they are still my family. And I am still their son. I cannot just disappear without a word. My conscience will not allow it."

Yuuri understands, it's obvious in the slump of his shoulders. It still pains Victor to see it, so he presses himself to Yuuri's back and wraps his arms around him as tightly as he can in the hopes of sharing his pain.

"I will be back as soon as possible," he promises. "And while I'm gone, I will be thinking of you every second, every minute, every hour of every day."

"How long?" Yuuri only asks.

"It takes two weeks, ah, no," Victor stops, counting out the measures in a way Yuuri will understand. "It might take a full moon tide until I return."

Yuuri's shoulders tense further. Feeling just as heartbroken, Victor presses his face to Yuuri's nape and rests a kiss where the spotted spine begins. The uppermost of Yuuri's tentacles twitch, but other than that Yuuri is unmoved, untouched.

"I– Yuuri," he takes a deep breath. "I know it's a lot to ask, but… will you please make love to me before I go? I want to, I want to remember this, you, I want to remember you in every flip of my tail."

Yuuri leans back into him, as if all fight has gone out of him. "I knew you'd ask."

"Forgive me, I am rather predictable in my love for you," Victor answers with a tiny smile.

"Will you promise me you'd come back? Can I truly trust you will?"

"On my life, my love for you, my human soul and my curse, I so do swear," Victor vows.

Only then does Yuuri turn in his arms. He gazes into Victor's eyes with softness, with love, and with such unbearable sadness that Victor's heart fractures simply from seeing it there. He leans in close and, lifting a hand to hold Yuuri's face, he joins their lips together. Yuuri gives into him on a sigh that reverberates through the water around them with a loneliness and sadness so potent that Victor shudders from it.

It's different this time from how it was when Yuuri was possessed. And it's… it's better, if such a thing is possible at all.

Yuuri blushes sweetly, when Victor touches his tentacles. He blushes harder as he watches Victor's fingers rub against his hole. Even Yuuri's neck flushes when Victor's cock slides out, already dripping with arousal.

It's such a rush to watch Yuuri's own cocks peek out from under the folds of his fins, swollen and blue in a much obvious interest. Yuuri's mouth parts on gasps when Victor guides the cocks into his other hole and Yuuri's face, flushed blue and mellowed in pleasure, is the only thing Victor wants to see as he moves his hips, fucking himself on Yuuri's cocks.

He takes both, but after a moment, one of them slips out of him and wraps itself around Victor's cock. The rest of Yuuri's tentacles follow, resting around Victor to hold him and move him at his will. Even this, a thing similar to what the demon has done, feels so different when it's Yuuri who does it. Yuuri's shyness, his embarrassment, the way he cannot seem to take his eyes off of Victor, who delights in the pleasure Yuuri gives him, it all makes Victor's body heat up faster than it has when the demon took him. Shameless moans pass through Victor's lips, shameless pleas for more, harder, _yes, just like that, Yuuri, please_...

When Victor comes, it's a sweet thrill of pleasure that makes his entire body shake. Yuuri intends to pull out of him, but Victor can't have that. Through the haze of fulfilment, he asks: "I want to feel you come inside me, Yuuri. Please, please fuck me until you're satisfied. I love it, I love you, please, give me everything, my love, I want all of you..."

Weak to him as Victor is to Yuuri, Yuuri does as asked. He gently flips Victor onto his back and fucks him with his cocks, while his tentacles gently caress the rest of him: Victor's hair, Victor's face, Victor's shoulders, arms and tail. Two even focus on Victor's nipples, prodding and rubbing and leaving kisses when the suckers skim over them.

By the time Yuuri's cock swells inside him, Victor is panting again and calling Yuuri's name among the sweet noises of pleasure he does not wish to hold back. Yuuri's first egg comes, then another, and by the third Victor is coming again. He arches his back and clutches onto Yuuri's tentacles, which glow a gorgeous, bright blue – so different from the demonic purple.

Victor's release is even more intense this time because of it. The eggs filling him up are one thing, but the way Yuuri looks down at him as he hovers above Victor… Yuuri's hair sways in the water, dark against the halo of light that surrounds him. On his cheeks is a flush of dark blue that makes the white spots around his temples and jaw glow. And then there is his chest, which also turns a stunning shade of blue, deeper than the water around them. All his tentacles shimmer and light up in pulses, and as Victor's eyes trail down, he notices that even Yuuri's cocks glow – the one pumping another egg inside him even lights up Victor's own hole and tail in a way that makes Victor shudder.

There are only five eggs this time and Victor keeps them in with more ease than before. He's tired, but his heart feels so light that he almost doesn't wish to sleep. Yuuri rests at his side, unable to take his eyes off Victor, as if he thought he could outright disappear if he looks away.

"I love you, Yuuri," Victor says, shifting to lean their foreheads together.

Yuuri's cheeks, still flushed, darken. "And I love you, Victor. I am so happy to have met you."

They kiss sweetly, softly.

Victor doesn't know when he falls asleep, but he awakens with the eggs still safely tucked inside him. Yuuri is asleep at his side, tentacles curled protectively around Victor. As Victor looks at him, he thinks that there could be nothing better than this: waking up next to Yuuri for the rest of his life. A month away from him is a price little enough to pay.

Or so Victor thinks.

But when Yuuri's eyes open to this new day, he does not share Victor's good mood. He does not seem happy at all that Victor is still carrying a reminder of their mating. He does not praise him. He does not kiss him. He does not smile at him.

Instead, he looks at Victor like he's never looked at him, with pain and sadness and that thing, that damned, blasted _thing_ that he refused to speak to Victor about before, and says:

"Victor… let's end this."

And just like that, all the happiness Victor has been building up like a grand mosaic, piece by tiny piece, breaks into dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you this is going to be angsty... and here we go ;3c


	10. CHAPTER 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot to update this yesterday pls forgive me AND GET THE TISSUES WE'RE GOING ON AN ANGST TRIP YALL

Incredulous, Victor can't speak for a moment. His mouth opens and closes, yet no sound leaves him until anger rushes through him and forces them out.

"What do you mean _let's end this_? You can't possibly mean it, Yuuri!"

Yuuri's jaw squares. He sits up, beautiful in the sparse light of the cave roof stars. Victor hates how gorgeous he is like this, hates how he still finds Yuuri so beautiful even when he's upset with him.

"I mean exactly that," Yuuri corrects him. "This, us, it isn't working. You're… you're still cursed, Victor. We kissed, we mated, with and without the demon's interference, and you're still cursed. I… I hoped, when the bones were cast, I hoped that meant that my fears were unfounded. That there was something that I couldn't yet see. I hoped that we could still have a chance."

"We do," Victor insists. "Yuuri, _we do_ –"

"No, Victor." Yuuri shakes his head, a hard set to his shoulders. "After last night it became obvious… We clearly aren't meant to be. You are still cursed, Victor. And now, now you're leaving." Yuuri's hands shake as he joins them together in his lap. "I cannot bear the burden of being the cause of your unhappiness, should you meet someone that would be able to break your curse while you're gone."

"This is ridiculous," Victor says, more than a little angry. "Haven't we talked about this already? Didn't I promise to choose you over the possibility, mind you, just a _possibility_ of meeting someone else? Didn't I make a vow? Didn't you? Why are you bringing this up again?"

"Because you're leaving," Yuuri answers, his voice equally as defensive. "You're leaving for an entire moon tide. What if you meet someone? What if that someone is just who you need, but you are beholden to the promise you made me? What if I am what stands between you and the freedom you've wanted your entire life?" He shakes his head. "I can't do this, Victor. I can't be the one you choose because of a promise you made before you knew the choice that lays before you. Please, don't ask me to do this to you."

"Don't ask you?" Victor repeats. He rises from the bed, unable to stay at Yuuri's side any longer without shouting. "Don't ask _you?!_ How about you ask _me_ what _I_ want instead of assuming you know better? What now, because you're a witch you know what I want? What I need?" And before Yuuri can say a thing more, Victor jumps onto another – one that makes him equally as out of his mind with anger. "Besides that, which is already so much, Yuuri, so much… What then? You think I would want to jump the first human I see on land on a mere possibility they can break my curse? That I'd trust them enough to kiss, to mate with them? At first sight?" He grimaces. "Or maybe you think I will just open my arms to anyone and everyone who wants to take me? Is that what you think of me? Is that what you believe in your heart I will do as soon as I leave here?"

Victor is honestly offended at the very idea. Offended and, quite frankly, hurt. He has never imagined that Yuuri thought him so shallow. So vain, so focused on just one thing. Hasn't he shown him how little he cares for his curse when he promised to stay? Hasn't he shown him how little he wishes to leave last night? Even now, Yuuri's eggs – a reminder of the pleasure and love that joined them – sit inside Victor's warm body. But while it felt nice to have them before, now Victor feels just a little sick at the thought that Yuuri might not want to ever see him again. That all this love in Victor's heart will fester into vile, all consuming anger.

"You say you're doing this for me, Yuuri, but I do not want any of this. How can you doubt me like this?" Victor asks, not even trying to hide his pain. At the determined look in Yuuri's eyes he's met with, his voice hardens into ice. "No, this is not what you do for someone else. This is what you do for yourself. Don't pretend to take this decision for my sake, when you aren't even going to take my feelings into consideration." He swallows the lump inside his throat and adds: "I never would've thought that you could be so selfish."

Yuuri does not look his way when he says: "I do not do this to hurt you, Victor, and I am regretful if you are so. Please know that this is not my intention, but… it's unavoidable. It is better for it to hurt now than tear you apart later. I've seen things, Victor. I'm a witch. Magic… magic is not a simple thing at all. You might claim you'd remember me, you'd keep to your promise, but when magic is involved you might not be given a choice."

"If it's magic you're worried about then isn't love the highest form of it?" Victor returns. "Shouldn't you know more of its power than me? Shouldn't you trust in it more than me? If you do not trust me, then trust in my love for you. Or..." His eyes widen, and then narrow down in hurt. "Or is that why? You doubt my love for you, Yuuri? Do you doubt your own feelings, too? Is that what this is?"

Yuuri's lips press together into a thin line. He doesn't say a word, which only makes Victor's heart bleed quicker.

"Or maybe… maybe you are not doubting them. Maybe there are no feelings to doubt at all," Victor realizes, his voice shaking in pure terror. "Is that it? Are you– Have I mistaken your intentions? Have I just assumed you felt for me as I do for you? Was this all my misunderstanding? _Say something_ , Yuuri!"

Now, if possible, Victor feels even worse. If all that is true, if Yuuri does not hold him in his heart as Victor holds Yuuri, then that would mean–

"My feelings have not changed overnight, Victor," Yuuri tells him in a curt voice. The confirmation of Yuuri's supposed love does not improve Victor's mood, however. "But they change nothing. I love you, and because of that I am setting you free. You may do as you please with whomever you please from now on. I will not behold you to any of the promises you've made me. This," Yuuri takes a breath that makes his entire body shudder, "is over."

He rises from the bed and swims to the curtain that separates the bedroom from the rest of the cave.

"Yuuri, wait! You cannot just end it like this. I– I–"

Yuuri pauses at the sheer desperation in Victor's voice. Victor himself pauses also, unsure what to say. Should he swallow his pride and beg? Should he be angry, demand answers? Should he force Yuuri to admit how much he must be hurting too? Should he, shouldn't he, should he, shouldn't he…

"Leave today," Yuuri tells him, and his words are like a cold knife to Victor's already bleeding heart.

"I don't want to leave," Victor admits, on the verge of tears from anger and hurt. "I never wanted to leave. I _love_ you, Yuuri."

Yuuri's shoulders tense, but he does turn to look at Victor one last time. The pain is obvious in those brown eyes that Victor beloved. Yuuri is hurting. This is not a thing that comes with no cost to him, either. And yet–

"I love you, too, Victor. And that is the problem," Yuuri says and his words make his actions even more cruel.

When this time he turns to leave, Victor does not stop him.

Instead, he curls in on himself, muffling a sob in a hand he presses to his mouth, while the heart inside him – which just barely learned to love – breaks into pieces that Victor cannot bother to keep together any longer.

He's too tired of fighting the fate that does not wish to see him happy. He's too tired of battling, too tired of always being hurt.

So, with tears rolling down his cheeks, at long last... he gives up.

***

It's been a single tidal wave since Victor has left, and Yuuri hasn't been able to see a thing before his face – the tears that blur his vision do not wish to pause.

He allows them to fall, and hurts. Hurts like he's never hurt before. But he can bear it. He must.

He's sure that Victor hurts worse.

***

Time heals, they say. But they never mention that pain makes time last thrice as long.

Yuuri's heart sobs, it cries, it wails at him to find Victor and beg for his forgiveness… It is not too late… There might still be a chance...

And yet, Yuuri doesn't.

A day has passed.

***

After a quarter of the moon tide, the tears stop. Most of the time, that is. Yuuri forces himself to return to his normal life, to keep brewing and chanting and–

Everything reminds him of Victor.

The bottles that have been rearranged according to Victor's suggestions. The cauldron shells, which Victor always cleaned so well, listening to Yuuri's singing spells and at times even humming the melody with him. The shark meat that Yuuri still has leftover from that day when he cut Victor's hair and held him close for the first time.

His praises when Yuuri sang.

His silver hair when he swam about.

His smiles when their eyes met.

His soft touches, his beautiful, shimmering scales, the delicate, soft membranes under his arms that made him look like a ghost, almost, yet so much more stunning.

His soft laughter, his playful grins, his tender, loving kisses...

The tears return unbidden and Yuuri no longer has the strength to fight them.

***

A strand of silver hair on the beautiful silver comb makes Yuuri's heart ache so hard that he curls into a ball, wrapped in his tentacles in a meagre imitation of Victor's embrace, and he shivers, he sobs, and begs for forgiveness, wailing his empty _I love you_ into the murky waters of the cave…

No one hears him.

He's all alone.

Just like he wanted...

Ten days have passed.

***

He doesn't remember the last time he slept soundly. Or, he does, but he doesn't want to think about it, because then he'd have to think about _him_ and… it would only end up hurting more.

Thing is, his dreams do not care for him as much as he cares for the emptiness of his thoughts when he's awake.

"I loved you," Victor tells him, his eyes as cold as the blue of ice. As lethal as the freezing waters can be. "I loved you and you used me. You and your demon… you _disgust_ me. How could I have been so stupid? You're a monster, Yuuri. There is nothing in you that could ever make someone love you. I'm glad you set me free. I wouldn't be able to live with you. Or live with myself after what you've done to me. I hope you rot for all the pain you've caused me."

The demon comes.

Yuuri screams and cries and begs.

And Victor… Victor is once again gone: dream and reality, both. As Yuuri blinks the tears out of his eyes again, he almost misses the nightmares. In them, at least, Victor is still with him.

Two quarters of the moon tide have passed, and Yuuri is going insane with loss.

***

With heartbreak comes pain – immeasurable, pitiful, well-deserved and self-inflicted. And then, there comes loneliness. And guilt. And even more heartbreak, because being alone is not that hard when you don't know what it feels like to be with someone. Yet once you do, _oh_ …

Yuuri's cave, previously so small, suddenly feels like a bottomless pit of despair that he is downing deeper and deeper in as more time passes.

Three quarters of the moon tide is enough to make Yuuri regret. It's enough to make him feel Victor's absence keenly. It's enough to make him wonder whether the choice he's made was the right one or how he could've changed things if he had a second chance, knowing what he knows now.

It is not enough to make him act on it, though.

***

It takes a full moon tide to come and go before he's ready to acknowledge that he should've done better. He should've fought harder. He should've trusted his own feelings, should've trusted Victor.

He should've.

And maybe if he had, they would've–

But he hadn't, Yuuri reminds himself. He'd done none of that. He simply gave up, because that's what was easy. That's what he thought Victor would need.

He was wrong.

The pain of it strikes him anew, because now… now it's too late for such thoughts. There is nothing Yuuri can do now. Victor is gone. Forever. And Yuuri must learn to live with the choice he's made and the suffering he brought them both. 

***

Victor's first breath of the air above water differs not from a sob. He surfaces with a gasp, with a cry he cannot and does not muffle. His heart, which has not stopped crying ever since he left Yuuri's cave, has not ceased bleeding.

Inside Victor's chest, a searing pain answers every heartbeat.

Inside Victor's throat, a lump sits as he swallows.

Inside Victor's hole, Yuuri's eggs are still kept warm by his body heat – an awful reminder of what he once had and now lost.

Victor laughs through tears that begin to stream down his face anew. The salt of them joins the salty taste of the sea on his tongue until he can no longer tell which is which. He is not far from shore, but he does not swim to meet the sand. It is almost sundown. It has taken him a lot longer than usual to get here. Between the pain of losing Yuuri and the heaviness of the eggs he carries, he has not been able to give his fullest to travelling. The distance he could cover in half this time, he has finished in a full month – so heavy was his pain.

Only in his own heart, he also admits to wanting Yuuri to come after him. Purposefully, he slowed down at times, even looked back to see if maybe Yuuri has changed his mind. Should he have come back to his senses, Victor would've welcomed him with open arms. Oh, he'd demand an apology and quite possibly a thousand kisses to heal his pain, but he would not turn him away. Should Yuuri have come…

But he hadn't.

He truly wanted Victor to go, so go Victor had. And now, too, he begins to regret it.

He should've fought Yuuri harder. He shouldn't have gotten so angry, but talked to Yuuri further. It was possible to explain. It was possible for them to find a middle ground… If only they tried harder.

Hurting anew, as he is reminded of his failure and of what it means to the rest of his lonely cursed life, Victor allows the waters to comfort him. The last warmth of the fading sun kisses over his skin and scales, which have not seen it in months. Victor cannot help comparing it to the kisses of Yuuri's lips, of his tentacles' suckers, whose marks are already gone from his skin. There is nothing else that Victor has to remind him of Yuuri, and yet he finds those things wherever he looks. His short hair, which will always be something that brings Yuuri to his mind – his gentle hands and tentacles, his soft, soothing singing – the scales on Victor's hips, which Yuuri loved tracing with a finger, and Victor's forehead which Yuuri pressed sweet kisses to… and also, the precious, precious eggs that now, more than ever, Victor is determined to keep.

If he cannot have Yuuri, he will at least have this: something to remember him by, something to love him by. He will incubate the eggs until their hatching and raise their pups with the memory of Yuuri always burning strong inside him, inside their children. And he will tell them of their sire, tell them all – the good and the painful truth – in the hopes that they might do what he lacks the courage to and reach out to Yuuri again.

The tide gently pushes him closer and closer to shore as Victor stares into the burning sunset. His eyes are filled with tears that refuse to dry, but it is not caused by the sun's fading light. Soon, a night time guard will walk by and find Victor adrift, and he will take him back to the palace – back to the human world Victor so greatly detests being a part of.

There is no place for Victor here, but… there is no place for him underwater, either. Not now. Not after Yuuri. Wherever he would go, he's sure Yuuri would be the only thing on his mind, so in a way… in a way, it may be a blessing that he is far from him, far from where his heart truly longs to be.

On tender waves, Victor allows himself to be carried ashore. His body rests on the wet sand, while the sea sings its eternal song around him and the waves caress his body as if to say goodbye. For a moment, just for a moment, the entire world is peaceful.

And then, Victor screams.

Agony. Torture. Excruciating, all-encompassing _hurt_.

So suddenly he cannot stifle it, a burning, searing pain tears through his body, sinks into his tail and rips him apart. Crying out, Victor's hands fly to where it hurts most, but his flesh parts before he can push it back together. There is no blood that he can see, but soon he is unable to watch – the torment is too great. He writhes at the sharpness of it, at the raw, honest feeling of imminent death that stabs every inch of his tail over and over again.

He succumbs to it, on the verge of consciousness, but just as he does, the pain disappears. As suddenly as it came, it is gone, and only a phantom ache of it once having been there remains.

Victor lies in the sand, twitching and panting. He is throbbing with the echo of pain, unable to move a muscle. Every piece of him feels tender, like an open wound. He's afraid to look, afraid of what he will find there, but after a while he forces himself to. And what he sees there…

A sob breaks out of his mouth. A sob, and a laugh. And then both at once, both together in a vile mixture of hatred and despair.

Because what he's always wanted, what he's been aiming for all his life, even before he knew that it was what he wanted… it has just been granted to him.

Below his waist, useless as they are now, are two perfectly formed human legs.

And between them, Yuuri's eggs are being washed away back into the sea – the final thing he's given to Victor, now taken away. Like everything else.

This time, Victor does not try to hide his pain any more: he wails and sobs and cries, and curses the witch he still loves with the only three words he can.

"I love you," Victor sobs into his human arms that do not have membranes attached to them.

"I love you," he screams, kicking his human legs into the wet sand.

"I love you," he whispers, exhausted, into the oncoming wave, which is nothing but cold.

But Yuuri doesn't hear him. He doesn't know that Victor was right.

That Yuuri was the one and only mate Victor has looked his entire life for. That there will never be anyone else. That there never could be, because it was always supposed to be Yuuri.

But Yuuri doesn't know.

And now… now he never will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not kidding with the angst... and this is not the end of it ;3c


	11. CHAPTER 10

"Your Highness, may I have this dance?"

She's blushing, a pink as pretty as her dress. And yet, Victor cannot force himself to admire it. It's the wrong shade. The wrong smile. The wrong colour of the shy eyes that flit to his and away in shyness so achingly familiar that Victor cannot stand to look.

It's the wrong face, wrong person, wrong place.

All of it – it's wrong.

He still smiles, polite to a fault, and offers her his arm. "Of course, my lady. It'll be my pleasure."

The lie slips off his tongue with an ease that is heart-wrenchingly painful. Victor hates that, too. He hates… he hates everything. The castle with its grand halls, gold and splendour. The people in it, lavishing in luxury and bigotry. The newly changed, appreciative looks that follow him wherever he walks. And, finally, he hates walking, too. He hates how hard the ground is under his feet, how odd his body moves, how painful the first steps have been.

But he has gotten what he wished for: he's fully human now. He can walk, run, jump. He can learn swordplay. He can dance. He can… he can marry. Sire children. Rule the kingdom after his father dies.

And all those things he once wanted, all those things his parents still want for him, none of them have made even a spark of happiness start in Victor's heart when he finally had them all, because to have them he has paid dearly. He has paid a price he would not wish to pay, if he knew what it was. Because in paying it, he gave away something more precious than all of these combined.

He lost Yuuri.

Forever.

He spins the lady hanging on his arm into the middle of the dancing pairs and swoops into motion with the same grace he has taken to during all his years at sea. Dancing, after all, Victor thinks, is much like wave riding. The rhythm, the motion, the sway… His heart squeezes painfully in his chest anew.

Never again will he feel it. Never again will his tail carry him to the depths of the sea, where his only friend lives. Where Yuuri–

He misses a step and pain like hungry wolves bites up his calf. He suppresses a grimace.

His tail… it was so beautiful. The shimmering scales, the slick feel of it, the gorgeous fins that caught the light in such a magnificent way… He misses it. He misses it a lot.

They spin around each other, her warm arm hooked through his, and it's all wrong once more. Cold, she should be cold. These clothes, constricting and vain, are nothing compared to the magic of touching skin to skin. Coldness to warmth, paleness to ink. Silver to black. There is nothing more than the harmony of that, two opposites coming together to form one flawed, yet flawless whole.

Victor twirls her around. The dress rises around her ankles like the jellyfish hat. Pretty, light… but _wrong_.

They pass another dancing pair, then one more. All the faces turn their way, all of them smile. They want his approval, they want his attention. They want him now, but who was there for him when no one did? None of them.

Yet Victor, thinking of the cold, deep sea, lifts the corners of his mouth and pretends that this is what he wants, too. That this is what he needs. His dream come true.

"One more dance?" the lady in his arms asks when this dance is over.

Her green eyes – wrong, wrong, _wrong_ – glow with happiness.

Once, Victor knows he looked like this. Once, he turned such eyes to Yuuri. Once, he knew what happiness like this felt. To be in the arms of the one you love, to feel the heartbeat against your skin and breathe air against each other's lips...

He forces his lips into a smile. "If you insist."

They spin around the ballroom again. After that, he excuses himself before she can ask for another. His feet hurt already, unused to such strain, but it is the wound in his heart that pains him more. He does not have the enough love in him to entertain someone right now – not when his soul is miles away from here, under the surface of the sea, locked in an embrace of a cursed mer god.

Who doesn't love him, Victor recalls. Who doesn't love him like Victor loves him.

On a balcony overlooking the nearby sea, Victor pauses. It is a moonless night, dark, cold and lonely. Perfect for someone like him. Victor shudders as the early winter wind ruffles the short hair on his nape. The dark waters of the sea are one with the faraway horizon, melting together like lovers joined at long last. Like Victor will never be joined with Yuuri again.

"Why, my love?" he asks the darkness. "Why did you do this to us? All your reasoning, all your fears… it was all for naught. If only you would've trusted me more… If you trusted in your magic… The answers were all there. Why? Why couldn't you see?"

A lone tear rolls down his cheek. He cannot cry more. His tears, after months of flowing, have dried at last. The pain though, the pain has not ceased. It only grew more bitter, more nostalgic with every night Victor spent looking out to the sea.

"Vitya?" he hears and quickly lifts a hand to wipe away the stay tear.

He finds his mother in the doorway to the balcony, peering at him curiously. She makes her way towards him, small steps on smaller feet. The heels of her slippers click on the stones like cutting knives and Victor feels every single one of them stab his heart.

"You must not hide here," his mother speaks, unaware of his circling thoughts. "Now that you are finally whole, you must be there for everyone to see. This is important, my son. For you and the kingdom. We have waited too long for this day to give up on you. But that must be returned on your side as well. Do not shirk the responsibility you have to this family and land, Vitya."

"I am not, mother," he answers as she takes him under arm. Her touch, once so craved, now does not soothe him in any way. "I have only stepped out for some fresh air. My feet hurt from all the dancing. I am still quite unused to these."

She smiles at him then, a different smile from the ones Victor knows from his childhood, and says: "Then you are truly one of us now. I do not remember a ball when my feet had not hurt. And you are not wearing these silly high-heeled slippers, mind. Be grateful for that, son."

Like he's done before, Victor forces on a smile. If he could… if he could, he would trade all his riches, all his slippers, boots and other fancies, his title, his future crown – all of it, simply to get his tail back. But that he keeps in his heart and allows himself to be pulled back into the stuffy, bright hall.

"Your father wishes to speak with you," his mother says, stepping in first.

Victor spares a final glance at where his heart has been left at sea. He wishes… he wishes he could see Yuuri again, talk to him, put their differences at peace. Because even like this, even with legs, his love has not–

"I believe that he intends to seek out your opinion on the betrothal proposition he received from Duke Babichev a few goblets of wine before. Personally, I think little Mila will be a good match for you. She is a little young, but–"

"What?" Victor asks, startled.

His mother blinks at him, and he blinks back, unable to breathe past the shock.

"What is it, son?"

"I– What– Did I hear you correctly?" Victor asks, his tongue numb in his mouth. He knew it was coming. He knew that. And yet... "Father intends for me to… marry? So soon? I– I thought it would be a little longer than this."

"Yes, well, we have lost a considerable amount of time on your curse." His mother tilts her head to the side. "Your reaction makes me think you do not approve of his intentions, though. That, in turn, makes me wonder… Would I be correct in thinking that this development," She points her gloved hand at his legs, "is not the effect of breaking your curse, but instead is the proof of your finding the only thing that could make you whole again?"

Victor purses his lips as he considers lying.

"Finding, and losing him," he answers in the end.

Her face softens. Without a word, she opens her arms for him and, as strange as it feels to touch her so intimately after so long, Victor allows himself the comfort of the embrace. Because deep down he knows that this will be the only kind he gets.

Given half a chance, he'd fight for what his heart truly wants.

But that chance is nowhere in sight. And the fight is over before it has even begun.

***

For three moon tides since Victor has left, Yuuri has been struggling. With himself, with his work, with everything – even the smallest thing was far harder than it should be. At first, it was because of the tears that blurred his vision and made breathing too difficult. Then, it was the pain that kept him from living like he used to – the pain of the memories Victor left behind, the ghost of his presence which continued to haunt Yuuri around the cave.

And now… now what has taken over the torture is regret. Heartfelt, bitter regret that makes Yuuri's chest ache with hatred for himself, for his own weakness of belief and trust.

Because he knows he should've trusted Victor. He knows he should've listened to him. He should've given him a chance.

They could have made this work. Without pain and all these tears, they could have lived together. They could have loved. And maybe it wouldn't be true love, maybe not that mythical, powerful magic that can break even the darkest evil, but they would still love. And it would be enough. It would have been enough, a blissful happiness that they would have well within their grasp.

Yuuri was a fool to reject that. He truly, truly was.

He stirs the potion he has been preparing, but like most others before it, this one is ruined as well. Yuuri's magic, his singing, have been affected by his stupid choice more than he could envision it would be. His tentacles still glow with power as he begins to chant and even though the sounds that slip off his tongue are proper in form, shape and tone, there is no magic to them. It wells inside Yuuri, rises to his throat, and then halts – as if the words he spoke to Victor that day have blocked the rest of them inside him.

In a sudden spike of helpless anger, Yuuri knocks the cauldron shell over with a frustrated swipe of a tentacle. It crashes against the cave wall with a crack that echoes inside Yuuri's heart. Like that broken shell, he too feels shattered. By his own doing, no less. And oh, that feels even worse – that he has been the architect of his own suffering… it's laughable. Irony is such a cruel goddess.

Yuuri covers his mouth as ridiculous laughter bubbles out of it. Tinged with pain and regret, it sounds like something out of a nightmare. Yuuri has never intended to be a villain, but in his own story, in his own life he has been the biggest evil.

His laughter dies suddenly, when he senses the waters outside the cave stir as the magic that connects him to the rock below the entrance activates. Yuuri almost, _almost_ ignores it. He is in no mood for visitors, in no mood to help any lost soul, for he himself is as lost as they possibly can be. How can he help anyone with their pain, when he carries so much of it himself…?

Whoever needs him does not wait for him to appear, however. Yuuri feels the presence come near. It enters the cave carefully and makes its way towards him. For a brief moment as he waits, as he imagines the mer enter his workroom, Yuuri's heart spikes with hope. What if Victor… _what if he returned_? Would he? What would Yuuri do, what would he say, if Victor really just swam into his workroom like this? Like nothing has happened greeted him with a smile?

Yuuri doesn't know, but disappointment stabs him harshly in the heart anyway, when a sea lion mer peers curiously around the corner rock.

"Yes?" Yuuri asks sharply. Too sharply, perhaps, but his patience is worn thin. By his own helplessness, by his own actions. By his own anger.

The mer flinches at his tone, but does not back away.

"My name is Chris," he says, tentatively swimming deeper into the room. "I am a friend of Victor's. I'm looking for him. Is he around? He told me he was staying here."

The words taste like acid on Yuuri's tongue, but he forces them out. "He is gone."

"Gone? Gone where?"

The mer's face pinches with worry that stabs Yuuri's heart again. Discretely, Chris looks about the tables and shelves, all the bottles and brews and ingredients as if Victor could be hiding in some dark nook of the cave. Yuuri sees the tension in his shoulders, but he does nothing to ease it. He does not care.

"He left," Yuuri says. "Three moon tides ago."

" _Three_ –" the mer gasps, startled. "He just, he just _left_? Without saying a word to me? I knew it was nearing the time he leaves. He always does when cold waters come, but he's never left before without saying goodbye."

He's visibly upset about this and Yuuri has to force himself to relax. Just thinking about the way Victor left… His eyes puffy, swollen. Cheeks red from how hard Yuuri has heard him sob. His head bowed as if in shame or anger or pain…

Yuuri's tentacles coil into him and twitch as he tries to push the memories away. To push the pain they bring as far as he can.

"I told him to leave," he admits, and releasing that little bit of truth somewhat eases the pain in his chest. So, to feel even less of it, Yuuri adds: "I told him to look elsewhere for his true love to break the curse."

"You couldn't break it?"

The pang of guilt awakens in Yuuri again. He doesn't know how much Victor has told his friend. In the end though, it doesn't matter what he knows or just suspects. The answer is the same.

"No, I couldn't. That's why I told him to go. If he stayed, he would never be free. If he stayed, he would never find a way. Like this… he has a chance."

Chris looks at him for a while. There is something odd in his eyes: half wonder, half caution.

"He was… From what I understood when he spoke to me last, he was fond of you," Chris says in a voice soft with hesitation. As if he was scared to offend, as he should be. "I cannot help but wonder… Did he do anything to upset you?"

Yuuri's lips quirk in mirthless humour. Upset _him?_ Oh. 

"I believe I was the one who upset Victor." His gaze bores into Chris, who withstands it, however uncomfortable it must make him. "I said cruel things to him to make him leave. He did not want to go, you see? There was little choice I had. If I used magic to do so, he would've fought me on it every wave of the way, so I had to hurt him to make him never want to come back."

"What… what did you tell him?"

Something visibly changes in the waters between them. Chris' body grows tense. It has been from the start, yet now it is more than just being wary of Yuuri's power. Now, there is also worry for his friend. There is suspicion towards Yuuri. And then there is anger there, too, in the depths of his gaze, staring back at Yuuri.

And in his heart, Yuuri welcomes it, for he knows he deserves that anger. He wants to be punished. He should be. For all the pain he's caused, there should be a reckoning. If this is it, Yuuri is more than ready for it. He'll accept it from Victor's friend, since he will never get to have Victor himself act on it. Never again...

"I told him that whatever has been between us is over," Yuuri says, the words cold and numb on his tongue. "I freed him of all the promises he made me. And then I refused to listen when he argued."

"He didn't want to go and you made him," Chris repeats. His eyes flash and Yuuri rejoices at the justified anger that will finally reach him. "He loved you and you didn't love him back. He loved you and you forced him to abandon his love, because you couldn't be bothered to help him. You're… you're–"

"A demon," Yuuri supplies and something akin to perverse excitement fills him as he waits for Chris to pass the judgement. "A monster."

Chris' lips curl in disgust. "No. You're worse."

"I know."

Yuuri's own lips quirk in an ugly, ugly smile.

"And you're happy with this? You're happy you most likely have broken his heart?" Chris demands.

"Happy?" This time Yuuri cannot withhold the derisive spite from his words. His own anger rears its head, glad to have someone else to channel it onto. "Do I seem _happy_ to you?"

"Then why? Why did you let him go? If you aren't happy now, what could it have hurt to allow Victor to stay? At least one of you would've been happy then," Chris says, his own voice bitter.

Yuuri has a feeling that he, too, would've been happy to have his friend close. Yet another person Yuuri has hurt… How many of those are there, he wonders. When will it stop? When will the hurt go away? Will it ever...?

Suddenly, Yuuri feels drained of all energy. He swims to the bedrock that Victor so often occupied. The same bedrock on which Victor rested that first day they met, the same where Yuuri has laid him after the shark attack. Under his fingers he can almost sense the shape Victor's tail has made in the soft moss.

He sighs, closing his eyes.

"I shouldn't have done it," he agrees.

Chris says nothing to it and, as if his silence has overfilled the cup of Yuuri's heart, Yuuri feels the urge to confess everything. So, he opens his mouth and does.

"I loved him. I still do," he says. "I let him go, because I thought that would be for the best. That he needed the freedom to find the way to break his curse without me. That I… that I was holding him back from what he truly desired." Yuuri's tentacles wrap around him in an imitation of a hug. "There is nothing but regret in my heart over what happened. Nothing but pain. But now… now it's too late to change anything. What's done is done. He's gone."

"It's never too late," Chris tells him. When Yuuri shakes his head, his voice hardens. "It's _never_ too late. You're a witch! You have magic! You can go to the surface, you can breathe there with ease. You can even walk on land. You can find him and bring him back. I'm sure," he pauses, "I'm sure that he still loves you, too. Love is a hard thing to break, after all."

Yuuri twists to look at him. The anger is still there in the hard set of Chris' jaw, but his eyes have softened. They gaze into Yuuri's imploringly, with as much pleading as he can muster.

Should he…? Yuuri considers himself.

The idea of going to the surface does not scare him. The idea of venturing into land doesn't either. It's meeting Victor that terrifies him. And far more than his demon possession does. Because as much as he abhors the demon, as he hates having his body used, it is only his body. Victor, on the other hand, holds more than that – he has Yuuri's heart and soul in the grasp of his pale hands. Should he be angry enough with him, Yuuri would not blame him for crushing them like he has crushed Victor's love before. It would only be fitting, no?

"He'll be angry with me," Yuuri says, lowering his head. The tentacles curl around him, their excitement and hesitation obvious to anyone who knows what to look for.

"If I may… you deserve it," Chris answers, his voice dry. "Maybe all you need is just a good scolding. I'm certain Victor will be more than happy to give you one. And, if not, I will be here, waiting for any news, so you needn't worry. We have you covered between the both of us."

And this time, when he laughs, Yuuri does not hate himself that much. Only a little bit.

Because, given half a chance, he'll do all in his might to get Victor back.

He's selfish after all. He might as well act on it and get what he truly wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO'S READY FOR THE BIG REUNION NEXT CHAPTER???? 👀👀👀


	12. CHAPTER 11

Almost three times Yuuri turns back.

The lighter the waters that surround him become, the more his doubts peer through his dire need to see Victor again. To see him, to talk to him, to laugh with him and hold him in his arms – should Victor allow it.

Yuuri has no delusions about how much he's hurt him. He knows it will be hard to regain Victor's trust after everything he's said and done. But, after the conversation with Chris, he is willing to try to make up for all the pain he's caused them. He's going to take responsibility for it and lower his head to beg Victor for forgiveness and his heart, whichever he decides to give. If neither, then that, too, Yuuri will accept.

Still, there is a yawning chasm inside him, one that is ready to open and swallow him whole. The part that joins him and the demon becomes bigger and bigger by day. And from it flows an endless stream of misery and awful, terrible loneliness that Yuuri knows would consume him, should Victor want nothing to do with him. It would be his right, undeniably, and Yuuri does not intend to speak to him about his own curse. He does not wish for Victor to take him back out of pity. Yuuri would be unable to deny it, just to have Victor close again, but he would hate himself for it in equal measure. So, on that, he resolves to stay mum no matter what choice Victor makes.

The truth, however, is that the demon has been creeping in on him much more rapidly than it has ever before. It's… like a disease, and it is spreading. There is nothing Yuuri can do to halt the process. No magic will stop it, no spells, no potions, no wishes. The demon will overtake him, sooner or later – such is the price his family pay for its imprisonment. It will remain trapped, always, but it will never die: it'll only feed on the lives of those weakest to its hold and claim their lives when they give up on themselves for good.

If Victor does not accept Yuuri's apology, if he refuses him… Yuuri's fate will be sealed. He will have no strength to carry on, no will to fight. And thus, the demon will claim his life and soul for its own.

At least then, Yuuri will also find peace in blissful nothingness.

In a way, the knowledge that all of his life rests in Victor's hands does not make Yuuri weep. It fills him with, well, not happiness exactly, but a calm, peaceful acceptance. Because to have Victor decide his fate is something Yuuri will gladly submit to. Should Victor take him back or no, Yuuri will be content with any decision he makes. Because his life and soul already belong to Victor, so for him to do as he pleases with them is only right.

It's true, and his heart agrees, but there is still a part of Yuuri that fears meeting Victor's eye. He does not fear his choice, the decision he will undeniably have to make, but he fears how time must have changed him. How will he look at Yuuri? How will he speak to him? Will he even want to?

Nearly four months have passed since they last spoke and cold waters have arrived, colder than Yuuri ever remembers them. Anything could have happened to Victor. Anything could have changed him. He might be someone that Yuuri no longer knows, no longer recognizes. He might be so hurt that he won't even look at Yuuri. He might be so angry he will want to kill him with his own hands. He might be so devastated that he–

He might be so happy that Yuuri doesn't dare even open his mouth.

A chill skims through Yuuri's limbs, but it is not his thoughts that bring it on. The waters around him have grown colder, the lighter they become. Normally, Yuuri would not dare rise all the way to the surface in conditions like this. It is no secret to any mer that the winter tides are far more violent than any of the other seasons'. Yet, Yuuri braves the cold, braves the tides that tug on him and push him off course, and swims straight towards the surface with powerful swipes of his tentacles. From there, he will be able to more quickly make his way to land.

There is a potion bottle hanging off his neck that will help him become human for a day. It is one that transforms you fully and it comes with excruciating pain, but pain is not what Yuuri fears. Not this kind of pain, at least. To accomplish what he has set before himself, Yuuri will face this, and more. If only to see the man his heart years to be with...

He breaks the surface of the water on a dark sky, where the moon is waning. It's glow is still strong enough to illuminate the waters far before Yuuri, but all is quiet, all is still.

He hears it before he recognizes what he sees: a sound of screeching and groaning and a crash of waves. A ship.

A ship which, as Yuuri looks closer, he realizes he's seen before. Many times.

A ship which always returns here, to this very spot at the cusp of warm and cold waters.

 _Victor's_ ship.

It almost seems too much of a coincidence for Yuuri to believe. Which laughing fates would have it for him to surface right where Victor is waiting? The chill in the air makes it hard to breathe for a second and Yuuri gasps as he tries to fill his lungs. Pinpricks of cold sting his face and he shudders at the challenge that rises before him. His tentacles, agitated for more than one reason, move around him restlessly for the mere moment that Yuuri considers the human vessel floating out of the night straight towards him.

Even if it isn't Victor's ship, he _needs_ to know. If it is...

Before fear can make him turn back, Yuuri pushes himself underwater again. There, hidden, he feels safer, but… this is not why he came all this way. To feel safe all he had to do was to stay at his cave. To feel safe, he could have simply closed his heart and cast away fond memories.

He didn't.

He chose this, he chose to face his fears and receive whatever punishment Victor believed to be fit for the crime Yuuri has committed. He chose to come and earn Victor's trust and heart again, because that is what Yuuri wants most. Above all else in the world, Victor is the one he desperately wants. Whom he desperately needs to calm the storm in his heart and chase away the cold of loneliness.

So, instead of staying in the safe waters, Yuuri swims towards the bottom of the ship.

Like all ships, it's terrifyingly big up close. The sheer size of it… Yuuri has to admire the humans for knowing how to put something this huge on the water without it sinking straight down into the hollow depths. And all without a drop of magic.

They are smart creatures, humans. Smart, cunning, and cruel. All merfolk know this. They are taught this from when they are still pups – "Never approach a human, for they can smile and bleed you at the same time".

And yet, it is Yuuri who was more cruel than a human. It is Yuuri who hurt Victor in the worst way of all.

It was Yuuri who broke his heart.

But now, now he's going to fix it.

With quick hands and even quicker tentacles, Yuuri climbs up the side of the ship until he reaches the railing. The darkness of the night covers his ascent and no one stops him. There is no one to stop him either, Yuuri notes when he steps onto the ship proper. Below his feet a puddle of seawater forms, but Yuuri cares little about it. He's come here to find Victor, so he looks about for anyone who might know something about the human prince that holds Yuuri's heart.

But, as he turns, Yuuri realizes he doesn't have to look for anyone else.

Victor, eyes wide, stares at him as if he is seeing a dream-thing. As if he can't believe that Yuuri could be here. As if he was petrified by a spell, an enchantment so potent that not even a sea god rising onto his ship could snap him out of it.

Yuuri opens his mouth, apologies and pleas already on his tongue, when his gaze slips lower – to Victor's beautiful membranes and scales and fins, which he's missed the sight of all these long weeks… Yet, he finds none. Instead, what he's come to love is replaced by a pair of legs. Covered by white fabric and something that looks like shark skin on the bottom, but… legs. Not a tail. Not fins. _Legs._

The part between them is unmistakable.

Yuuri's head spins at what this could possibly mean as his heart withers inside his chest, because it already knows. It already feels it.

"Yuuri," Victor breathes his name like a prayer, which makes Yuuri look up. "You… Are you really here? Or am I dreaming again?"

"Again?" Yuuri finds himself saying. "You dreamed of me before?"

"Every night," Victor confesses and takes a step towards Yuuri.

 _A step_.

Yuuri's eyes return to his legs, wide in disbelief and hurt in recognition.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was so angry, so hurt…" Yuuri's chest feels constricted, as if a rock has been placed right upon it. "I missed you, Yuuri."

"And I missed you," Yuuri admits softly. His entire body throbs with his heartbeats. "But I see now that I shouldn't have come."

Hurt flashes in Victor's eyes. "Why do you say that? Didn't you come to see me?"

"I have, but… I didn't know you already found your true love." Even saying the words is hard, even doing this little hurts. "I should leave. Before I say something inappropriate. Before I ruin your happiness again. Once was quite enough, don't you think?" Yuuri's lips quirk in a mirthless smile. He's hurting, but oddly enough his voice is even. "I– I only wanted you to know that I am deeply regretful for the pain I've caused you. But, as I can see, it wasn't for nothing. I'm glad that something good came out of it. At least you will now have a chance at the life you deserve. I'm happy for you."

Victor opens his mouth to say something that Yuuri no longer has the right to hear. He shakes his head.

"Take care, Victor," he says, cutting Victor off. "I wish you the happiest life you can dream of. You and your true love. May you be blessed." He smiles once more, a smile pained, yet true. "Goodbye, Victor."

Without waiting for Victor's answer, Yuuri pushes himself off the ship and plunges deep into the cold, dark waters. The last thing he hears before they swallow him is Victor calling his name in a desperate, anguished plea.

But that, surely, must only be Yuuri's imagination.

***

To see Yuuri again is something short of a miracle. To speak with him, to breathe the same air as him… Victor's heart flutters, even as anger tightens in his belly. There's so many things he'd like to say to him, so many hurts he must voice. Yet, even the opportunity to do that, when it finally comes, Yuuri takes away from him.

His cruel, cruel Yuuri. Selfish, stubborn, silly Yuuri… The mer Victor loves with his entire soul.

His true love. The one and only.

Victor calls his name, and then again, but Yuuri seems to be gone from his life once again. To his knees Victor falls, tears hot in his clenched shut eyes. He had a chance, a final chance, and he lost it. His life is naught but a joke by now: all that he cares for he seems to lose, as if the fates themselves have picked him alone to torment. As if they spent their time thinking up new ways to give him hope and then violently tear it away from him just as it begins to take root.

He sobs, unable to hold back the sadness, the loneliness, the despair that wells inside him, and the sound echoes across the moon-lit water.

Once, Victor would keep his pain inside. Once, Victor would not be hurt by this. Once, Victor knew not love at all.

But Yuuri has changed him. And he is changing him again by refusing to speak to him when all Victor wants is to hold him in his arms and reason with him.

He presses his forehead to the railing, but his breathing does not wish to calm. He doesn't hear the splash of water as he sobs. He doesn't see the dark hair rising from the moon mirrored over the waves. He is drowning in his own pain, too focused on all that hurts to notice that Yuuri has returned – as if called by Victor's misery, he has come to give him one last chance.

"Those do not seem like happy tears," he says, and Victor startles when his voice reaches him.

He opens his eyes, looks down and–

"Yuuri," he whimpers as his heart gives another jerk of part happiness, part pain. "Why must you be so cruel to me? First you break my heart and now you do so again, even if I have yet to pick up the pieces."

Yuuri's tentacles lash through the water in clear discomfort. "I know you hate me–"

"I could never hate you," Victor replies in a voice that could never be argued with. Then, on a plea, he ends: " _I love you_."

Whatever Yuuri was going to say next, gets stuck in his throat. He simply looks up at Victor. Him in the sea, Victor on deck of his ship – they watch each other with all the love that once joined them plain in the open. They stand separate, human and mer, but at heart they are both the same – two fools, helpless against the wants of their hearts.

"I love you, Yuuri," Victor repeats. "I haven't stopped loving you for a second since I left."

"But your body..." Yuuri shakes his head and water ripples around him. He's so beautiful in Victor's blurred with tears eyes that Victor does not dare blink, lest it is the last time he sees him. "Your fin and tail and, and legs! You have _legs_ , Victor! Didn't you find your true love? Didn't you kiss someone to change you?"

"I did," Victor agrees. The words "It was you," do not pass his lips, because Yuuri covers his head with his tentacles as if he doesn't want to hear anything more.

"I knew it. I knew I had to let you go free. Don't you see?" He looks up to Victor, face drawn in pain, pleading. "If you stayed with me, you'd never be free of the curse. You'd never–"

"I'd still be able to be with you," Victor tells him, bitterly. "I'd still be able to swim down to our cave, to live with you. Start a pod. And now… Now, it feels like I'm under another curse. And this one brought on me by the one I love the most."

"I didn't want that." Yuuri's tentacles tug on his hair, tighten around him as if to protect him from the pain that comes from the inside. "I never meant for this to happen. True love… no one knows how it really works. You could've been–"

" _I love you!_ " Victor screams at him. His voice echoes on the empty waters. Someone surely must have heard him, Victor knows, but he doesn't care at the moment. "Do you hear me, Yuuri?! I love you! Then and now, and always! Stop trying to explain this your way and trust in me for once!"

"But why?" Yuuri asks, still uncomprehending. "Why do you love me still when you have found what you've been looking for? Why _me_? Why not your true love?"

Victor laughs at that question as he stands up quickly. He steps onto the railing, feeling the wind in his hair, in his clothes, brushing the fabric of his pants against his thighs like second skin.

Or a layer of smooth scales.

He takes a deep breath and, for all the world to hear, he shouts:

"Because it's you! It has _always been you!_ "

And then he jumps.

Somewhere behind him there's a cry of freight, but Victor cares not for it as he plummets straight towards dark water. He never learned to swim. Not in this body with legs instead of a slick tail and lungs used only to the air above water. Still, he jumps. And before he hits the surface, Yuuri dives under to intercept him, because quite possibly Victor might need it to stay alive. But… quite possibly he might also not.

There is this feeling inside his chest, this feeling in his heart, in his very soul… This is right. This is exactly what he should be doing. This, somehow he knows, is exactly who he is.

When the water closes around him, nothing happens at first. He sees nothing but a dark void. He feels nothing but stinging cold. The pressure of keeping his breath is too much even before Yuuri reaches him, so Victor opens his mouth and lets it go.

And, just as the last air leaves him, his body begins to glow.

His jacket rips apart. His pants are shredded. His boots come lose.

Victor removes the final pieces of fabric from himself and allows the magic to roam freely through his body. It warms him, it breathes into him, it makes him feel whole – and powerful for it, too.

In the glow that is coming off of him, he sees Yuuri swimming his way and he opens his arms to greet him. Arms that now have lovely translucent membranes attached to them.

He takes a breath of sweet air filtered with water and smiles at Yuuri's stunned expression.

He flips his tail, his gorgeous, scaled tail, and swims to meet Yuuri halfway, so that they can be together sooner, faster, closer.

When Yuuri's arms wrap around him at last, Victor is almost crying again. But so is Yuuri, so maybe in the end, all that needed to be said has already been felt. Maybe… Maybe that's all there is to it.

"How?" is all Yuuri can ask.

"I don't know," Victor replies, touching his cheek to Yuuri's soft hair and breathing him in: the scent of potions, ink, blood. The scent of home. "I thought this form was lost to me forever. The day I touched sand… I changed. It's been months. I haven't kissed anyone else, Yuuri. It was you. You're my true–"

"But I don't understand," Yuuri interrupts him. He pulls back to look Victor in the eye. "If I am, then why didn't it work before? Why only then?"

"I suppose…" Victor pauses. He bites his lip. "Remember what the curse said? I shall be unwhole until I kiss my true love. And I was, Yuuri. I _was_. And then I met you, fell in love with you and kissed you. And I truly was whole then. The best I have ever been was right then, by your side." The corners of Victor's lips lift slightly. "I think… I think that the change of my form had little to do with the curse itself." Yuuri rears back his head in clear disagreement. "No, wait. It did have something to do with it, but what I truly mean is that like this, half man, half mer, I am myself. I am whole like this. Being here with you. Being there with my parents. I always thought that I had no place in either of these worlds. That I didn't belong to either. But maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I simply belong to both."

"So… if you go on land again…?" Yuuri asks.

"I don't know," Victor answers. Then, he smiles a true smile. And takes Yuuri's hand, joining their fingers together. "Should we find out?"

"Yes," Yuuri agrees. He pulls Victor back when he begins to swim away. "But wait. I– I have to apologize first. I treated you so unkindly. I was so cruel. I hurt you so much and I am so sorry, Victor. I really believed I was doing the right thing. But I was wrong. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and what I said for a second since that day. And I am not saying this to garner your sympathy." Yuuri shakes his head and looks imploringly into Victor's eyes. "I am only trying to tell you that doing all that was the hardest thing I have ever done and I haven't stopped loving you even moon tides after. If there is any chance that you can forgive me–"

"There is," Victor interrupts him. The anger he's felt before is back, but not as strong as then. It simply makes him want to hold onto Yuuri and never let go. Ever.

Eager, Yuuri asks: "What can I do? What will you have of me?"

Victor considers him for a moment.

"And you will do anything?"

"Anything," Yuuri confirms. "Anything you want. Just name it and if it is within my power, it's yours."

"Then I want a promise from you. A vow."

Yuuri nods his understanding just as Victor lifts his free hand to cup his cheek. Only from this close can he see the dark shadows under Yuuri's eyes and the stark paleness of his skin. He looks awful, yet no less beautiful for it in Victor's heart.

Victor swipes a tender thumb over Yuuri's cheekbone, then smiles and joins their foreheads. On a long withheld breath, which feels like the first one he's truly taken since the day he left Yuuri's cave, he says:

"Stay close to me and never leave."

"I promise," Yuuri confirms.

And the last wisps of Victor's anger are washed away by a gentle tide that takes them into its arms just as their lips meet in a kiss that has been long overdue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the gorgeous art above has been drawn by the incredible @rosereleasesart: find them on [twitter](https://twitter.com/rosereleasesart) | [tumblr](https://rosereleasestheart.tumblr.com/) | [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/rosereleasestheart/)
> 
> MAKE SURE TO GIVE ROSE YOUR LOVE!!!! 
> 
> I am so happy with how this chapter turned out: the boys are happy, the art is gorgeous, and we are almost at the end of the road //sighs in bliss  
> only two more chapters left, hang in there guys!! 😉


	13. CHAPTER 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for: smut, oviposition, tentacles, demonic possession

The captain, called by one of the man in the nest, is not too happy about Victor's changed form. Or his plans to make land on the nearest shore. There is little he can say to actually disagree with him, though. Victor is a prince and what a prince wants, a prince gets. And, in this case, it is sand and land that Victor desperately needs to find as of this moment, so under the captain's orders sleepy sailors take their posts and the ship slowly takes a turn towards nearest land.

Victor is too impatient to wait for their escort. He needs to know the answer and he needs to know it as soon as he can. He grabs Yuuri's hand and together they swim towards where their senses guide them. All merfolk instinctively can feel open water before them and can sense land as if they were looking at the sky and land was tiny stars speckled upon it.

It isn't long until they find what they are looking for.

Yuuri trails behind him when Victor pulls himself onto the sand with the strength of his elbows and arms. His palms leave deep imprints in the wet sand, but those are washed away soon by the foamy waves that chase after him. Yuuri remains in the shallows, yet Victor can feel his heated gaze on his back. Then on his face as he turns to face the sea once more, just like he has done that very first time.

For a second, when Victor settles at last, panting with effort, nothing happens.

But then it does. Oh, _it does_.

There is no pain this time, as if the curse once broken was as painless as breathing. Victor's tail begins to glow, his arms too – all of him, really. And once the blinding glow that could rival the moon fades, he is fully human again.

"It worked," he says in wonder, moving his feet in separate directions.

"It didn't hurt?" Yuuri asks, coming ashore at last as well.

His feet, unused to walking, kick sand onto Victor's pale skin. But he doesn't mind. With a smile, Victor shakes his head. There was no pain, only a little tingle in the limbs most affected by the change, which is a significant improvement to the last time when he found himself unable to walk for an entire day from the sheer pain of it.

He accepts the hand Yuuri offers him and is pulled up to stand. Like this, he realizes he's taller than Yuuri and his grin widens further. This is so different from how they were in the water.

Gently, he lifts Yuuri's chin to peer into his lovely eyes.

"You are so much more beautiful than I remember," he says.

"And you are too free with compliments, as always," Yuuri returns, but he is smiling as he does. One of his tentacles closes around Victor's wrist, however, and Yuuri rests his cheek in Victor's palm, closing his eyes. "But I missed this, too."

"I did as well. There wasn't a night when I didn't dream of holding you again," Victor admits.

"Even after everything I said? After everything I've done?"

Yuuri's eyes flutter open again and his guilt peers straight at Victor. And it stings, it stings just a little, but...

"Even then," Victor says. He strokes his thumb over the lovely spots on Yuuri's cheekbone. "I haven't stopped loving you for a second. If possible… I only loved you more."

"I dreamed of you," Yuuri confesses. "You told me you hated me. That I'm a monster. That you're glad I set you free–"

"You are _not_ a monster, Yuuri," Victor interrupts him by pressing his thumb to Yuuri's sweet lips. "You are just a mer who loved so much that he was scared by the power of his feelings. Who wanted to give utmost happiness to the one you love, even if it meant breaking your own heart. Isn't that right?"

Yuuri bites his lip, and in that one gesture awakens something in Victor that he hasn't felt in months.

"I still treated you poorly. I shouldn't have–"

"Love," Victor interrupts again, sweet, yet a bit harder, "I appreciate you trying to apologize, but you've already done it. And I accepted. We have all our lives before us and I promise you that I will have you make up for it with interest, but can we please just leave it be for now? Wouldn't you want to do something else instead?"

"Something else?" Yuuri frowns at him. "What do you have in mind?"

Grinning, Victor steps closer to Yuuri and into his ear he whispers: "Oh, I don't know… how about we explore this human body for all it's worth?"

Yuuri's cheeks are flushed a beautiful blue when he peers into his face again. And this, the colour, the look, the warmth spilling over Victor's heart – it's finally right. It's what Victor has been longing to see. It's what he intends to see for the rest of his life, should Yuuri allow it. It's his dreams coming true right before his eyes.

It is even more so the moment their lips meet again. In the dark of night only witnessed by the moon above them, Yuuri rests Victor down onto the soft sand. The ship is anchored too far off shore for anyone to see them. But even if they could, Victor would not change a thing. Yuuri's hands, his tentacles, they are so gentle that each touch feels like a kiss in its own way. His skin burns before Yuuri even touches him where he wants him most. The coldness of Yuuri's lips, the silky smoothness of Yuuri's body on top of his, it all awakens Victor in the most primal of ways.

So he opens his arms and welcomes Yuuri like the land meets the sea: with turbulent longing and a passion that comes in greedy waves, allowing himself to be drowned in it, for in drowning he can fully give himself away to the one that he loves.

"I've missed you so much," Victor sighs. His fingers slip through Yuuri's hair and settle on his nape to then guide Yuuri's lips against Victor's. "You were constantly on my mind, Yuuri. Everything I did, I thought of you first."

"And you were on mine," Yuuri confesses, kissing him deeply. "Everything reminded me of you. Every object, every room… Every potion I tried to make failed, because all I could think of was you."

Victor groans at the words. He moves his lips to Yuuri's cheek, Yuuri's jaw, Yuuri's neck – all spotted and smooth and cool against his mouth. The feeling of perfection, of deep longing at last being sated makes his eyes itch with unshed tears.

"They wanted to marry me off to some poor girl," he tells Yuuri, and Yuuri freezes for a moment above him. Victor noses under his jaw, softness and laughter in his heart. "I told them no, and then I escaped to sea. I hoped… I hoped you'd come up at some point for more ingredients. I hoped I'd be able to talk to you again. To convince you how foolish it was to break us apart when all I wanted was to be with you."

Yuuri pulls back a bit to look Victor in the eye. "You'd be married now?"

"If I didn't love you," Victor says. Then, he smiles. "Too bad that I do. My heart belongs only to the witch of the underwater kingdom. Him, and only him."

Yuuri does not say a word for a long while. He simply looks at Victor, looks at him as if he is trying to solve a problem that Victor knows not the answer to. But, it seems, _he_ is the answer, for Yuuri leans down and presses his forehead to his.

"My heart is yours as well, Victor. Do with it as you please."

Lips quirked, Victor answers: "It would please me to make love to you now. How about that, my Yuuri?"

Yuuri's cheeks flush a little, but he nods, nuzzling his forehead into Victor's. There are no clothes left on Victor, so all he has to do is spread his legs to allow Yuuri to see him fully, when he sits back to gaze down at Victor's fully human body.

"Have you ever been with a human?" Victor asks. The thought of being claimed by Yuuri in this form excites him, yet he knows it will pose more of a challenge than his mer body did.

Victor has seen humans mate before. He knows what his cock is to do, where he should insert it – in a woman or a man – and he knows that the same kind of pleasure he could achieve from Yuuri claiming the hole between his buttocks. He is more than ready to guide Yuuri, should it be needed, too.

But something about Yuuri changes as his gaze rakes over Victor's naked body. Even if Yuuri has seen him in the throes of passion before, Victor blushes at the heat in those beloved brown eyes. They burn his skin, make his cock swell and his hole tingle with anticipation. And all that before even one of Yuuri's tentacles strokes down Victor's chest.

When it finally does and wraps around his cock so very softly, Victor shudders at the sensation as if he felt it for the first time. In a way, he is, but in another he thinks that every time Yuuri touches him, every time he kisses him will always be new and fresh and oh, so exciting.

"I know enough about humans to know this," Yuuri says as his tentacle gently strokes Victor's cock. "Though I have never been with one. Until now. You seem to like teaching me, so go on. Teach me more."

"I am always honoured to be your first," Victor answers, smiling. "Have me then, my Yuuri. I am yours, completely. Now and forever."

It is a wholly different feeling from what Victor remembers when Yuuri's tentacles wrap around his thighs and spread him apart. He feels exposed, and he blushes at that, but there is also a thrill of something new, something exciting awakening in his heart. Victor reaches out to Yuuri, to pull him closer and feel the slick smoothness of his skin against the heat of his own, yet Yuuri does not allow him that luxury. A tentacle intercepts Victor's hands and locks them together at the wrists, which Yuuri then pins over Victor's head. His eyes gleam in the moonlight: dangerous and full of promise.

"Yuuri..."

Victor moans as the tentacle wrapped around his cock begins to stroke him harder. It tightens until with every move Victor can feel the suckers brush against the sensitive skin. Two more tentacles slide over Victor's groin and press into his buttocks from behind, while another pair lifts to Victor's nipples, intent on playing with them like Victor loves to be touched.

And yet, all those little things pale in comparison to one of the bottom tentacles, which Yuuri uses the tip of to circle Victor's exposed hole. It presses sweet kisses against the rim every now and then as if to tease him and pulls back to circle around it again, until Victor pants for it. Until the only sound he makes are filled with need and lust and desire for everything Yuuri wants to hive him.

And the way Yuuri looks at him… As if all he wanted was to make Victor want him, to make him ache for him, to make him–

"Please, oh, please, Yuuri..." Victor begs, squirming in the sand and shaking with how badly he wants to be joined with Yuuri. "Please, take me, Yuuri!"

His voice echoes through the dark shore, but there is no one there to hear him. No one, except the one Victor wants his words to reach.

And reach him, they do.

Yuuri's tentacle finally pushes inside him, when Victor's breath gets stuck on a moan. Breathless, there is nothing Victor can do except arch his back at the completely new feeling of it. It's a little painful, but a lot more satisfying than in his mer form, and a moan slips from Victor's lips as soon as he has enough breath for it. But Yuuri doesn't give him much time to recover – he pulls out and then thrusts back into him, the slickness of his limb only easing the way inside.

It's different than it has been when Victor's hole was slick and sticky with his arousal. His human body is dry, but it is that, which makes him notice that Yuuri's tentacles are covered in a slick of their own. Within a minute or so, Victor's hole adjusts to the size of it and Yuuri can push deeper, harder into Victor, and he does so with no hesitation.

Being held down by Yuuri's many limbs, there is little Victor can do but lie there, moan and call Yuuri's name in the heat that overtakes him as Yuuri's tentacle slips deeper and deeper into the most intimate of his body. Like that, with his hands tied over his head, his legs parted, his hole pumped with Yuuri's tentacle and cock stroked by another, Victor surrenders himself to his love fully – he gives himself to Yuuri. He does so with relish, with relief, feeling that at long last all is right in the world again. This is where he belongs, and this is where he'll stay. For now and for ever.

And nothing will ever pull him away.

***

Victor's body is softer than it used to be, so much more pliant that Yuuri fears he will tear him apart if he acts more roughly with him. And yet… and yet, whenever he does, Victor gives such a pleased moan, such a greedy shudder that Yuuri cannot help trying the limits of just how far he can go to make him lose himself completely. It's almost as if Victor begs him to and, after everything, who is Yuuri to deny him what he wants so badly as well...?

On a particularly deep moan, he inserts another tentacle into the hole between Victor's legs and trembles when that sweet, sweet heat engulfs it. It is another thing that has changed: Victor's body has always been warm for a mer, but now, now it is almost searing like the golden sand on brightest days. Yuuri gives a gasp and a moan, shuddering as that searing pleasure awakens burning, smouldering desire inside him.It consumes him, strengthens him, almost swallows him like the demon's magic does – softer, yet just as intense.

As the two of his tentacles begin their exploration, Victor moans so loudly that the sound of it reverberates through Yuuri's body and leaves it with a groan through his parted lips. He has always been vocal and his words, praises and noises have been a thing Yuuri secretly could not get enough of. That, unlike so many other things, has not changed. So to hear more of them, Yuuri twists his tentacles, curls them deep inside Victor's heat and thrives on the pleasure etched in every inch of Victor's face.

Victor is flushed, he is panting. His lips are wet, his skin is too and to Yuuri's eyes he looks like he's glowing – sweat glistens on his body in the sheer moonlight that makes him seem like a god as well. A god of pleasure, a god of lust, for that is what he ensnares Yuuri with, what he enchants him to give into. He's beautiful. He's stunning. He's everything–

"Yuu– Yuuri," Victor groans. His blue eyes are dark as they peer into Yuuri's with enough want to make him breathless. "So full... So good…"

"And I will make you even fuller," Yuuri says, already aware that the mating limbs under his fins are swollen and ready for use. They have been for a good while now, of such strength is his attraction to Victor. Be it human or mer, Victor is a soul that Yuuri could never stop wanting. And it only helps that he wants him too: body and soul. "I will stuff you with my eggs, Victor. They will feel right at home there. Your body temperature is so high…" Yuuri twists his tentacles. "Say, would you want that? To carry my eggs again?"

Victor moans at his words. Even Yuuri is surprised by what is coming out of his mouth. He has never thought seriously about starting a pod, but here, now, with Victor's warmth clouding his judgement, their separation and reunion, he is ready for it. He wants it. If it is with Victor, then…

Impatient, he tugs both tentacles out of Victor. For a moment, he watches transfixed how Victor's hole closes on empty air, as if it missed the feeling of Yuuri stretching it to its limits. It doesn't take much more to make Yuuri ache to be inside him, and he gives into his wants with guilty pleasure. His mating limbs are already slick and ready to do what they have been created for, so he sinks both of his cocks into Victor at once.

Victor cries out, but he is not hurt – he calls Yuuri's name over and over like a prayer to a god that Yuuri is. Yuuri can hardly focus on him, though. The heat of Victor's body… it's overwhelming. Yuuri shudders as he tries to hold himself back from releasing right then and there. He manages it somehow, but he is the only one. When something warm splashes on him, he opens the eyes he does not remember closing and sees Victor's harshly falling and rising chest, his flushed skin, the slickness squirting out of Victor's mating limb. It gathers on his stomach and gleams in the moonlight like moonwater.

Curious, Yuuri spreads it over Victor's skin with another tentacle. It's sticky, thick, and Victor moans at Yuuri's actions as if–

Blushing, Yuuri realizes what it is. It's come. This liquid, it's what human body produces when it rises to the height of pleasure. Which, in turn, means that Victor has reached it just as Yuuri entered him.

Hovering above him, Yuuri lifts a tentacle to Victor's cheek.

"Are you alright?" Yuuri asks.

Victor's silver eyelashes flutter as he opens his eyes. The smile he gives Yuuri is full of such sweetness that Yuuri feels it throb in every part of his body. Especially the one buried inside Victor's warm, warm body.

"I am perfect," Victor answers in a voice that almost sounds like a sigh. "Exactly where I want to be, so you can keep on going."

"Are you sure? Human bodies are less resilient, I heard. I do not wish to push you too hard. What if you run away from me after everything?"

He is merely half joking, but the way Victor peers up at him – open, honest, kind – makes Yuuri almost ashamed of making light of such a matter.

"Didn't I tell you? I'm yours, my Yuuri," Victor says, lifting his head off the sand as much as he can and resting a kiss against Yuuri's lips. "Fill me up, my love. I am ready. Do whatever you wish with me. For now and the rest of my life, I am yours."

As if his words have broken some unknown spell, Yuuri feels the darkness creep in on him. _The demon._ The anger, the pain, the loneliness…

Gasping in surprise, Yuuri does not think twice as he pushes it away, and away it goes.

It doesn't disappear, however. It stays at the back of Yuuri's consciousness like a promise of what may come if he isn't careful. But in its presence, Yuuri also feels longing. He feels passion, he feels the want to be close. He has never given much thought to the demon as an entity with its own autonomy, with its feelings and wants and needs. He hasn't considered that it could have its own goals, its own motives, its own regrets.

In this moment, however, as he peers into Victor's eyes and sees his immeasurable love, as he feels the same rise in his heart, he senses the empty echo of it within the demon's void. And he considers it, now for the very first time.

How lonely it must be to live trapped with no one to speak to, no one to hold. How desolate and sad to feel only hatred directed at you from any host you reach to. How cruel to suffer this for all eternity, how heart-breaking no matter the deeds…

Now that Yuuri knows what it means to be able to earn forgiveness, to be given another chance at happiness when in fact he deserves none, he cannot force himself to block out the thought completely. He cannot deny the demon what he has been given and what changed him. If it, too, would be offered the same chance as Yuuri, would it take it?

There is only one way to try, Yuuri thinks, and he looks up to the bright face of the moon that stings his eyes.

 _Come_ , he calls to the demon, closing his eyes. _Come, join us._

And he opens himself to it, opens himself like Victor has opened himself to him. The demon hesitates, as if for the first time it was allowed into a host without fighting its way in, as if it suspected treachery from someone who would willingly call for it.

 _Come_ , Yuuri calls again, fucking into Victor slowly. _I will lead, but you can be one with me. With us. Come, if that is what you want._

At last, the demon listens. There is no pain, no struggle, no fight as it fills Yuuri's body with darkness and want. Yuuri still gasps at the power that suddenly courses through him, moans when it pulses purple through his entire body, yet he remains in control. For the first time, the demon and him remain in one body together without aiming to get rid of the other. His tentacles glow: a blue, a purple, a colour between both – a perfect unity of their magic coming together for the very first time.

"Yuuri?" Victor calls alarmed, and Yuuri opens his eyes to him. "Is it the demon? Are you…?"

"It's here," Yuuri answers. His voice does not sound like his own, yet it does, too. "But I am still me. It's… it's strange. For both of us. But… good. I—We… We feel powerful. United. _Good_. And you–"

You're safe with me, he wants to say.

 _You're mine_ , Yuuri feels the demon say.

Yet no words come out of his mouth. He breaks off with a groan, because to have two minds in one body is more confusing than he believed it would be. His own priority is to make sure Victor is safe and loved and well taken care of, but the demon urges him to cease talking and mate faster. Harder. Harder. _More._

Only that is on its agenda, it seems, and Yuuri resist it only long enough to ask:"Is this acceptable?"

Victor smiles at him encouragingly. "If you are willing to try it, then I am happy to accept you both. I have before, and I will always do so from now on, so… Take me how you please, Yuuri. Both of you. I am yours."

After that, Yuuri doesn't resist the demon's wants any longer. He begins to fuck Victor hard, fast, just like the demon wants, just like a part of him also wants – and he recognizes it, that a part of him has been in tune with the demon all along, that it has been a part of him without being a part of the demon. He resisted it for so long that he did not even wish to accept it as something borne of his own wants and needs. Everything bad, everything unwhole he always deemed to be the work of the demon, but now… now he sees that it has been inside him all along.

Victor, on his part, moans and begs for more. He may have found release once, but the tentacle Yuuri has wrapped around his mating limb grew hard again, ready to splurt, so Yuuri gives all the pleasure to him, while chasing his… _their_ own.

There is a moment, as his mating limbs sink deep into Victor's sweet heat that Yuuri's vision winks into blackness. He feels the demon move his limbs, feels it rearrange them, and he sees it work as if through blinking eyes – one moment it's clear, one moment it's dark. Yuuri's tentacles shift Victor around, flip him onto his belly and lift him onto his knees. His arms are bound behind his back, his cheek pressed into the wet sand, but not a word of complaint leaves his mouth. Instead, Victor moans and begs, and Yuuri plunges into his hole from behind, which only makes Victor's mouth more vocal about how much he loves it.

This position is a wholly different experience, too. Yuuri's mating limbs sink deeper and every thrust allows Yuuri's body to hit Victor's plump behind. It bounces and makes Victor moan in the sweetest of ways, so Yuuri indulges in the fascinating sight of it again and again.The play of shadows, the glow of Yuuri's tentacles, they light up Victor's skin in such beauty that Yuuri cannot tear his eyes away from him. And neither can the demon. Dark pleasure fills Yuuri's heart, fills his gut and the link between him and the demon as Victor's spread legs tremble from the pleasure he is receiving from them both.

With how bright they are, how loud they are, they must be a beacon to many a creature in the sea and on land, yet none disturb them as if they could feel that something extraordinary is happening here. That a demon, a god, and a human are making history in body and soul.

It isn't long until Yuuri feels the eggs brimming in his mating limb. He groans when the first one slips into Victor, and then shudders as they go in one after another. At the same time, Victor's insides clench around him like they had that first time and Victor's release squirts out onto the sand underneath him. Together, human and mer, they shudder and gasp each other's names until Yuuri's sixth egg pushes its way into Victor.

 _Good_ , the demon purrs in Yuuri's mind. _Full_. _Mine._

 _Ours_ , Yuuri corrects, and the demon cackles, but it is a sound far less malicious than Yuuri remembers.

Its voice and its presence seem to fade with each word.

_Very well. And now we… canfinally… rest..._

It withdraws from Yuuri's mind, from his body, and untangles itself from his magic. Unlike before when Yuuri only thought of it as an enemy to battle off, now he recognizes the emotion that carries over the conduit between them: it's contentment. Yuuri does not know whatbeing a part of a mating gives it, but it must be something that calms it down and allows it to retreat to its prison with less regret, less anger, less pain, for that is what he can sense over the bonds that bind them. Like this, he believes, as long as Victor allows it, Yuuri will not have to fight it for control over his mind and body ever again.

He pulls out of Victor and lies in the sand next to him. Victor does not collapse, but he is very near it, so Yuuri tightens the hold on him and guides him to rest at his side. He gently slides one tentacle between Victor's legs and presses it to the hole that is stretched out so wide that the eggs could easily slip out of him at a moment's notice. To keep them in, Yuuri covers it and rubs the tip of the tentacle between the mounds of Victor's behind, soothing and tender.

"I'm so full," Victor moans. He presses a hand to his belly, which Yuuri only now realizes has swollen considerably. "I didn't know I could take so much in this form..."

"You look absolutely stunning," Yuuri tells him as one of his tentacles curls around Victor's belly in a protective, proud way.

Victor's cheeks darken. "You think it suits me?"

Yuuri does not answer immediately. He shifts a bit on the sand, so that he can bring his face close enough to touch his nose to Victor's. And, breathing the same air, he says:

"I think you are the most beautiful creature in this world, no matter how you look." Then, his lips quirk. "But… yes, I think it suits you. I almost want to always make you look this way. So claimed, so mine, so," he swallows, "so ours."

Victor's surprised eyes peer into his. "Ours? You mean…"

"I think I know what the demon wants." Yuuri nods. "When we were mating, I felt its regret. And it resonated with mine, so I allowed it to join us. I think, if it is fed on the magic that my body releases upon mating, it will not linger. All it wants is to consume this energy, so if I give it willingly, it will not fight me for it."

"So it is gone now?" Victor asks.

"Gone," Yuuri confirms.

"And you're ready to accept that? Let it in willingly?"

"Only if you are willing to be with me while I'm sharing my body with it."

The smile that Victor gives Yuuri then is so sweet, so heart-achingly beautiful that all words, all thoughts disappear from Yuuri's mind.

"My love," Victor starts, "if I can be with you after you've broken my heart, if I can be with you after I've loved you when you destroyed my entire world, then I promise you, adding a demon to all that is a small favour to ask."

"I'm so sorry for all that," Yuuri whispers, guilt once more rising in his heart.

But Victor does not want to hear it. He lifts Yuuri's chin and then kisses him softly, slowly, sweetly.

"And I accepted your apology," he says once they part. "You are forgiven, Yuuri. So, yes, I will accept you as you are – flawed and selfish and shy. And I will accept your demon, because it is a part of you, and I love all parts that make up this beautiful mess that has somehow fallen in love with me and my flaws, too."

Yuuri's lips tremble when he pulls Victor closer to him. Yet when this time his tears fall, they are not borne of anger. These are the tears of relief and of gratitude, tears of love so strong that it surpasses even the ugliest evils of life.

Because with Victor at his side, Yuuri knows he can face them all, and win.

And now, he will once again have this chance. A chance he will not lose a second time. That, he vows to himself, the stars, and the demon that lurks within.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one chapter left, my friends! what else might happen to our boys? who knows ;3c


	14. CHAPTER 13

They pull apart at dawn, when the sun finally reaches the sand and bathes them in the still cold early glow. It is with reluctance and longing gazes thrown towards the patch of sand that has been witness to their loving reunion that Victor slips into the water again. The chill of it envelops him, steals his breath and, once the magic completes the change of his body, the hesitation only deepens.

Leaving here means leaving the blissful carelessness of only moments before behind to face the reality of the world outside them, and Victor isn't entirely certain he is ready to tell his parents what they must hear from him.

Together, they swim towards the ship anchored nearby – hand in hand, side by side. Victor pauses there with one hand resting against the heavy wood swaying on the waves. He is loath to part with Yuuri. After so long spent in utter misery, he worries that if they separate again, he might wake up from this wonderful dream he's sure he's having. But separate, they must.

They have spoken at length about what to do from now on and, in the end, they came to a decision that will give them both peace of mind. Victor will live with Yuuri in their little cave, away from land and court and human worries for as long as his father lives. Once the time comes and a new king must be crowned, they will step foot into the place Victor called home as a child. There, Victor will rule until a worthy replacement can be found – an heir to carry on the Nikiforov line, but not one sired by Victor. A cousin, perhaps. Or one of another worthy family. Someone with the potential to do what Victor cannot – to stay and put the kingdom first for an entire lifetime.

And yet, to do set on the path towards that, Victor must see his parents one last time. He must explain, say his farewell. He has a feeling that his mother will be sympathetic to his reasoning, but his father… Victor will have to do his best to convince him of the rightness of the choice he's made and that, he's sure, will be the biggest obstacle towards their happiness.

As if he could sense his fears, Yuuri wraps his tentacles around Victor in silent support. He rests his forehead against Victor's head, then drops a kiss against Victor's bare shoulder. Unable to hold back, despite the looming confrontation with his father, Victor smiles at him with all the newfound adoration he has for the man who holds his heart.

"Forgive me," he says. "I worry about my father's reaction to our plans. I don't… I don't think he will be very understanding of my decision."

"I will be following the ship from below," Yuuri answers. "I'll find a cave nearby and stay there until you call for me. No matter how long it takes, I will wait for you, Victor. I will always wait for you. You know that, yes?"

Victor sighs, wrapping his own arms around Yuuri in a needy hug. His worries have not lessened, and yet he feels lighter. Yuuri might not know how soothing his promise is, but Victor does. And he loves him all the more for it – not for keeping it, but for simply making it to lift Victor's spirits.

"I won't make you wait forever," he makes his own promise, which he seals with a kiss to Yuuri's dark ear.

Yuuri only smiles at him, but in that smile Victor sees his happiness. Before he can say a word more, Yuuri's tentacles tighten around him and, quickly, he scales the side of the ship. Gently, carefully, so as not to hurt him, he sets Victor on deck and kneels next to him. His tentacles rest around them like vines of a steady tree: sturdy, strong, safe.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" Victor asks.

He reaches for Yuuri's hand as if to keep him close for a little longer. But Yuuri, who smiles at him sweetly, doesn't intend to go anywhere. He takes Victor's hand and lifts it to his own cheek with pure, precious softness in his gaze, which melts Victor's heart instantly.

"It's important to you, so yes," Yuuri answers. His eyes sharpen. "I also have something to say to your parents. It might be the only chance to do it, so I want to meet them properly. When you're ready to leave, bring them to port. I will be able to feel you no matter where, so put your hand in the water and call for me."

Victor nods his agreement, but he cannot get rid of the feeling that has taken root inside him. A knot has formed inside his belly, in his chest, in his lungs. A knot that has nothing to do with Yuuri's presence at his side. No, it's something deeper… a fear of allowing his parents to taint what he has with Yuuri. A fear of maybe them saying or doing something that could turn Yuuri away from him.

Because, odd as it may seem, Victor expects there to be trouble.

"You are still a mer," Yuuri notices when Victor doesn't speak. "Will you not change on a ship?"

"I have to touch sand for it to happen, I believe," Victor answers, glad for the change of subject. "It always happened this way. I am not sure if there are any others that would work."

"We will have to experiment then. I'm curious if perhaps when your tail dries completely that would trigger the magic as well. And there is also the matter of how much sand do you need to change. Will just a jar do? Does it have to be dry sand? Will you change in the cave if you touch sand? We have many questions to answer, still."

"We'll have all the time in the world for it," Victor agrees.

Yuuri gives him an encouraging smile, while one of his tentacles lifts to tuck a strand of wet hair behind Victor's ear. They don't say goodbye. Victor simply pushes himself up and drags Yuuri close with his hand on Yuuri's nape, so that their lips can meet. The kiss is short, fleeting, like a promise of being fulfilled once they see each other again.

And when it ends, Yuuri withdraws from Victor and disappears overboard. All Victor hears is a splash when he hits the water. Then, again, he is left alone on deck. Now, however, he does not feel that encroaching loneliness he's felt when Yuuri left the ship the first time. As if some invisible thread has joined them, Victor can feel Yuuri's presence in the waters below the ship. Should he wish it, he can tip over the railing and meet him halfway, like he's done before. Yuuri is here, he's close, and while the world brightens around him, so does Victor's spirit.

He remains a mer until they dock in the royal port of the capitol. The captain of Victor's guard waits nearby with an armful of clothes until the magical glow around Victor's body dims and helps Victor dress. Pants are still an odd thing to him and so are boots, but Victor tugs them on with determined hands, regardless of the sand that continues to cling to his wet skin. Soon, he will not have to bother with them anymore. Soon, he will leave land for good. Soon, he will grasp his happiness with his own two hands.

His mother is happy to see him back, but her happiness disappears the moment Victor speaks his mind. Her lips purse, her eyes narrow, and her entire face falls, as if his decision is something she expected, yet still could not find peace with. She does not deny him the right to do what he thinks best, she never has, but it is clear to Victor that she has trouble comprehending his reasons. She accepts them, yes, but Victor cannot help thinking he's hurt her again.

His father, on the other hand, listens to his plans quietly and then, in a voice as calm as always, with expression as cold as always, he says a single thing: "No."

It takes three entire days for the arguments between them to cease. Two days of raised voices, cold, hissed insults, and anger as deep as the sea, as violent as its storms, as empty as the years of silent suffering Victor has lived through. In the end, they can't find a compromise. In the end, his father threatens to lock him inside his rooms under heavy guard to keep him from leaving. In the end, Victor threatens to take his life, because living in this prison is no different than not living at all, and now that he knows what it means to be happy, he will not let it go.

"Let him," his mother tells his father on the eve of the third day. She looks tired: of the discord in their family, of their lives, of their fates. "Let him do as he pleases, Vanya. Because of the choice we made, because of the choice _you_ made, he has never had a normal life. Let him keep what little love he's found himself. Let him go. He is our son. Don't you trust him to honour his promises?"

And that is the end of it.

They still gaze at each other coldly, still have more to say, will have more to say as long as there is breath in their lungs, yet in the end they both say not a word more out of love and respect for her.And, like this, it is decided.

"Be careful," his mother tells him as she holds him close for what may as well be the last time in her life. Her eyes are dry, but her arms around him are tight enough to hurt. He doesn't say a word of it, though – just holds her as tight with his human arms in thanks for all she's done for him."I do not know the dangers of the sea, but I am sure there are as many as on land. Protect yourself, son. Protect yourself where we cannot. And remember, you will always find safety here, if you come looking for it."

"Thank you, mother," he says, for he doesn't know what else to say.

He looks to his father once she steps back and his father looks back at him. They do not speak. Victor turns away and kneels on the wooden planks of the dock to touch the water.

 _It is time, my love_ , he thinks. _Come to me, Yuuri. Come, and take me away from here. Take me home, Yuuri._

The water which licks at his fingers playfully is warm. The day is warm as well. The clothes Victor had to don constrict him. He is too warm, too bound, too restless.

It is time.

It is time.

It is–

The water erupts not far from where he's standing and some of the spray sprinkles his cheeks. With bright eyes, Victor watches the monster he's beloved rise out of water in all his glory: dark, imposing, threatening. Shouts echo through the docks, and even his parents step back in obvious fright. The guards rush forward, swords drawn, as if to prepare to repel any attacks from the unknown foe.

But Victor smiles.

Yuuri's feet, then tentacles softly touch the wood of the dock. In greeting, Victor offers both his hands. He wants to fly straight into Yuuri's arms, but holds back for the sake of keeping this, them, to himself for just a little longer. When Yuuri takes his hands in both of his, there is nothing in the world that could ruin Victor's mood.

It is time.

"It has only been a few days, but I've missed you," he confesses.

"And I've missed you," Yuuri replies with a smile. "Are all your matters settled?"

Victor nods. "Yes. I have just said my goodbyes. We can go."

"Good." Yuuri lifts one hand to touch Victor's cheek fleetingly. "Then wait just a moment longer. I have something to say to your parents."

He walks up to the guard that tightly surrounds the king and queen. They eye him with suspicion, and others with fear, but Yuuri ignores them all. He ignores the gazes, he ignores the sharp swords, he ignores all, except Victor's parents.

"I will take your son," he addresses them in a steady voice, "and I will care for him as I would for my own soul, because he is the other part of me. I will love him and protect him, and I will not stand in the way of the duty he has towards you and your peoples. You have my word."

"Whatever that is worth," Victor's father injects. He clearly wants to speak more, but Victor's mother rests a hand on his arm. He purses his lips and ends with: "Do as you will. We clearly have no say in it."

He turns to Victor then. "Remember that you will have to return no matter what once the time comes."

"Once the time comes," Victor confirms with a nod. He steps up to Yuuri and takes his hand – claws against fingers, softness against cold. With the beginnings of a smile, he turns again to his father. "Don't you dare die anytime soon or else I will have to ask Yuuri to bring you back to life so I can kill you myself for ruining my happily ever after."

The man snorts, but when Victor's smile only grows, his eyes narrow. "He can do that?"

"That, and more," Victor admits, proud.

"And I will not hesitate to use my powers for Victor's benefit," Yuuri lends in his support."You better live a long and happy life, Your Majesty."

Grim, Victor's father nods.

"May you be happy then. For your sake," He looks to Victor, "your mother's, and the entire kingdom's."

Sure in what he is saying, Victor answers: "Don't worry. I will be."

That is the last thing he speaks to his parents and, perhaps, it is the best he has ever said to them. Regret wells inside him as he looks at them now: surrounded by guards, together, yet not truly bound. Not knowing happiness like Victor knows it. And he pities them, because their lives had been torn by a grudge that was none of their fault. Their son, their only child, has been turned into what many thought a monster, yet they bore the burden of raising him, of tolerating him, of still thinking of him as their son – of loving him in their own way.

Before he slips into the water, Victor gives them one last smile. And then, after his body changes and he rids himself of the clothes that have never been a part of him, in a fashion akin to dolphins Victor flips himself out of the water once to flap his beautiful tail at his parents in the final farewell. The last touch of the sun on his scales disappears when he submerges in the water, but in his heart Victor still feels warm.

"Let's go home," he tells Yuuri who waits patiently for him.

Yuuri nods and, smiling, takes his hand. Together, they dive deep, deep, deeper, until they leave the warmth of the sun behind them.

From now on, Victor knows, begins the rest of his life. And, unlike before when he knew not what happiness or love are, when he searched for a way to break a curse that has never needed breaking, now that journey, not its goal, is something he looks forward to.

***

"Vitya?" Yuuri calls. "Where is that glass for sand we need to bring? And the other one for moon grass? I can't find them anywhere and I'm sure they've been here just a moment ago."

He looks around, but no, the glasses are not on the table where he left them.

"Have you checked the–" Victor calls from behind the curtain of the sleep room, but pauses.

Instead of just shouting back and forth, Victor swims down to the work room. Kiran tries to wiggle out of his arms, Hikaru and Ayaka playfully try to catch the ends of his tail, while Ciana clings to his back. Her tiny tentacles are wrapped around Victor's waist like bindings, but Victor doesn't seem to mind one bit. He looks a little harried,but happy – flushed, glowing with laughter.

"I set the bottles on the topmost shelf on the left, so that," he changes his voice a bit as if he was talking to someone who could not hear him, "no one who shouldn't didn't get curious enough about them to stick their fingers, tails or tentacles into them."

Yuuri bites back a grin, choosing to look towards the shelf instead. Ayaka's giggle, which sounds not long after, disarms him as always. And, indeed, when he looks up there are the empty bottles right where Victor said they were. Three, in fact, not just the two Yuuri needs.

"I thought we could also get some sweet water," Victor explains when Yuuri looks at him questioningly. "We are running low."

Unable to put his own happiness in words, Yuuri swims up to him and kisses Victor's cheek.

"I have no idea how I did any of this without you," he says.

"Well, it's good you don't have to do it without me anymore," Victor replies and briefly kisses him on the lips.

"Ew," comes from behind them.

"Ew, ew, ew," picks up Ayaka.

Ciana climbs up Victor's back and peers over his shoulder. "Kiss papa! Kiss!"

Yuuri chuckles and leans down to give his daughter a kiss on her cute, pale nose. She giggles happily, nuzzling into Victor's neck soon after. Yuuri takes Kiran out of Victor's arms and the pup finally settles when he feels Yuuri's cold skin against his cheek.

"Do we have everything we need?" Yuuri asks once more, just to be sure.

"We're all packed," Victor answers, nodding. And, when the two oldest hide beneath his fins, he asks: "Isn't that right, Karu? Aya?"

"Yes, papa," they echo and then giggle to themselves.

Victor rolls his eyes lovingly. "We're packed."

"Then I'll just get the bottles and we can go."

It takes no more than five minutes until they are herding their pups out of the cave and into open water. The first excursion to the surface is always an exciting one and with four pups they have their hands full. What usually takes close to two weeks, now takes three, since they have to carry two or more of their little darlings when their still young bodies grow tired of swimming.

At last, right in the middle of warm waters, they make it and as Yuuri looks at the eyes filled with wonder, at the happy, flushed faces, he knows it was all worth it. The sun is warm, the waters are too, and the pups laugh more than Yuuri has ever heard them. Together, they gather the ingredients they can on the nearest shore and, once the work is done,they swim upstream to rest. There, they find a sandy beach where sweet water meets the land and large rocks rest on the ground – perfect for sunning.

As soon as his tail leaves the water, Victor changes and brings Ayaka and Kiran to play in the grass nearby. Yuuri, Ciana and Hikaru all join them once the little ones get their feet under them. They walk in odd manner, wobble and slip, and Yuuri gently catches them with his tentacles and sets them on their feet again until they learn to run.

Then, at last, Yuuri rests in the grass next to Victor. His sigh is met with a precious smile, as warm as the sun and as bright as it, too.

"How are you feeling? It's been a while since you've changed," Yuuri asks when Victor's beautiful blue eyes meet his.

"It's nice," Victor answers. He stretches and his heels dig into the soft grass. He makes a small sound of pleasure before he turns back to Yuuri and smiles."But I think it's more because you're all here with me than the change itself."

Little Kiran clambers over Victor's side and nestles against Yuuri's chest, his face flushed bright. Yuuri wraps a tentacle around him and pulls him close, so that his body can cool against his cold skin. Another tentacle he uses to stroke Victor's cheek lovingly.

"I'm glad you feel this way."

For a moment, they remain silent while around them nature breathes its sounds into the air and their pups' laughter echoes over the still water. The sun is warm on Yuuri's skin, the sky is full of white, lazy clouds. There is warmth all around him and warmth inside his cold, cold body – a warmth that has its beginning and end in the mer before him.

"Are you happy?" he asks Victor, who has been by his side for years now, and who will continue to stay with him for as long as they live, he knows.

"Are you?" Victor asks back with a smile.

"The happiest I could've ever been."Yuuri gives Victor a smile, too.

"And I am, too. Happier than I could ever be anywhere else," Victor says.

Their foreheads come together in sweetness and love, like their lives have been since they reunited all those tides ago. Waters by waters, moon tides by moon tides, wave after wave… They have been together for so long that it would not be strange to grow accustomed to the feelings Yuuri holds for Victor. And yet, Yuuri's heart has not ceased to beat hard for the one it has chosen: half man, half mer, a cursed child of human parents.

A prince.

A human.

A mer.

Victor.

_Vitya._

_His live and love._

"Thank you," Yuuri whispers so quietly that his lips barely move.

Human that his form is now, Victor's hearing isn't as sharp. He doesn't hear him. But that is alright. Yuuri has said it many times before and he knows he will say it many, many more. Among the "I love you"s and others, he will thank Victor for as long as they live.

For choosing him, for staying with him, for loving him. For forgiving him when it mattered most and for giving him another chance to prove himself and his dedication to the soul his own has been created for.

So Yuuri will thank him, and he will continue to thank him for the rest of their lives together. Because Victor is worth it, and Yuuri will do all he can to honour him just the way he deserves.

Now, and always. And a day longer still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this, my friends, is the end of this story. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed working on it ❤️🙏  
> I don't plan any continuations, but I'm sure this is not the last mer story I write. see you next mermay, I guess? 😉  
> in the meanwhile, don't forget to check out my other stories and social media if you want to support me ❤️


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